Time Management Tips

Time Management Tips for a Better Scheduled Student

2009-08-30T20:53:00.000-07:00

The life of a student evolves on exams, recitations, quizzes, and loads of projects. Life gets busy each and everyday. Getting enough of sleep is very crucial. Being a student also means picnics, cookouts, sports events, hanging out with friends and sometimes a job. So many things to do, so little time.

Time management in the case of a student is a very important aspect in this phase of their lives. It will give them proper steps and ideas on how to make use of their time wisely. Aside from that, time management can also estimate how much time can be used in a certain activity. This can help them prepare later on in their lives where their schedules can become more hectic.

Most of the time, a student should have an accurate evaluation of their time. By doing this, the student can be able to keep track of their activities. It is a vital aspect for the students to have enough time to prepare for all of their subjects and their extra-curricular activities.

Most of the problems of the students are having enough time in the day to get everything done. Aside from that, most of them are always running late to go to their classes.

To make things more understandable, here are some tips for taking control of their time and organizing some basic pace in life.

• It is important for a student to make a “to do” list everyday. Putting tasks, responsibilities and goals in writing is very important. The activity must be ranked from the top priority to the lesser priority. This way, what needs to be done right away is prioritized.

• Make use of spare time intelligently. Every tick of the clock hand is important. A minute lost is gone forever. Never waste a single minute doing something unproductive. For example, while on the bus get some reading done. Alternatively, why not try reviewing some of your notes while on recess or a free period. Make use of your free time always, even if a project is not due yet, you can do it ahead if you have idle time, you’ll never know when a lot of activities can prevent you from doing so in the future.

• Don’t be afraid to use the word no. It is very important to say no sometimes. For instance, a friend asks you to watch a concert on a school night. This could be time spent studying. Also, a concert can go on to the wee hours of the morning, you will be sleepy and not fit for learning the next day. Always have the right decision. Always set your long-term and short-term priorities in mind. Remember that there is always the right time and place for everything.

• Find the precise time for both work and studies. According to some studies, students can perform well in his studies more efficiently if they figured out their allotted time for work. For instance, if a student loves math during early morning better than afternoon, he should work it during that time.

• Having a good night sleep is very important. Lack of enough sleep makes the day seems very long. Having a short rest can also give extra stress to the body making the task more difficult. With enough sleep, you can do your daily activities with a refreshed min, allowing you to finish them faster saving more time.

• Be the best “task holder master”. It is very important to shape out how much free time each week has. Giving oneself an allotted time management and activity planning can settle all time-consuming activities.

• Do not waste time in worrying. Just relax and have a peace of mind. Most of the students spend their time in worrying doing nothing. It is not worthy. Instead of worrying and agonizing over something, find a solution and do the action right away. Never procrastinate.

• Maintain your outlook in a very positive point of view. The goals must be set in a very sensible perspective. Having an unrealistic perception of goals can lead into failures. Your goals and schedule should be doable.

• It is very important to be flexible. A student must know how to cope up with some troubles during the weekly planning. Not all of your scheduled tasks can be met, know how to work around them.

These tips can be able to help you organize your schedule. Soon you’ll be able to do all your activities without being stressed and worked out about them.

Personal Time Management Tips

2009-08-20T20:52:00.000-07:00

Are you an individual who just feels as if you can never catch up? Do you feel like you can’t get everything that you need to do done? If so, it is important that you take steps to rectify the problem. Poor time management is often associated with the workplace, but did you know that your personal life can be negatively impacted as well? It can be.

As for how poor time management can have a negative impact on your personal life, you may be surprised just what it can do. For example, if you have a poor sense of time you may find that your relationship with your spouse, romantic partner, friends, or children suffers. Those who have a poor sense of time are often stressed, frustrated, and unorganized. This is likely to put a significant strain on otherwise healthy relationships.

Despite the fact that time management can have a negative impact on your personal life, there is good news. That good news is that there are ways that you can prevent your poor use of time from becoming too much of a problem. The biggest way to prevent this from happening involves learning how to make better use of your time. To help you get started, a number of personal time management tips are outlined below.

An easy way to learn how to make better use of your time involves creating and relying on to do lists. If you have everyday tasks that have become a part of your routine, like getting your kids ready for school or going to work, you do not necessarily have to include these items on your list. With that said, other non-daily tasks should be added. These tasks may include running an errand before work, attending a child’s sporting event, helping your child with an important school project, going on a date, and so forth.

Learning how to prioritize is another important component of being able to properly manage your time. It is important to remember that the day and its time is limited. If you have a family and a fulltime job, you may find it difficult or downright impossible to get everything done. If that is the case, be sure to prioritize. You can leave the lesser important tasks, such as dusting your house as opposed to doing laundry for later or the following day.

The use of time management tools is another easy way that you can go about making better use of your time. There are a number of tools that you can use to your advantage. A to do list was sited as an example above. Other tools that you may be able to benefit from the use of include alarm clocks and daily or weekly planners. Since most time management tools are affordable, already in your home, or free to create, you should use them to your advantage.

One of the many reasons why people end up wasting time is because they are easily distracted. If you feel this the main source of your time management problems, you will want to determine what your biggest distractions are. For example, do you spend too much time socializing with coworkers after work or with the neighbors? If so, you don’t have to completely eliminate this contact, but try to limit it. The same can be said with television and internet use.

Success Percentage of Students with Good Time Management Skills

2009-08-10T20:52:00.000-07:00

“The most valuable result of education is the ability to make yourself do things that you have to do and needs to be done, whether you like it or not.”

That is the quote from Thomas Huxley, a biologist and “Darwin’s bulldog” for being an advocate of Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection. Who will ever think that someone like Huxley will have a quote about student time management?

It is quite true. Success in your studies will also depend on the things you have accomplished. To be successful, you must have self-motivation to complete the tasks that need to be accomplished.

Many students are always fond of saying that they will try to do a particular task (homework, for instance). Unfortunately, you will find later on that the word “try” really means forgetting to do that particular task and never having that enthusiasm to work on it.

Furthermore, when you ask him of his progress, he will just keep saying all the possible excuses in this world just to cover his failure of doing that particular task. He might say that there are other times to do it.

If you are one of those students with that kind of attitude all year round, what can you attain later on? What favorable result can you get?

That is why there is time management for everybody, especially for students like you. Employing effective time management strategies can help you to fix those attitude problems towards time and be successful throughout your student career. In other words, it leads to overall success. It is just simple as that.

Have you ever wondered if time management is successful? Maybe you are looking for some figures to prove that claim.

Fortunately, there are organizations, which include time management planners who spend their time conducting studies on the effects of time management to students. They try to get the percentage of students whose success is attributed on effective time management.

Here are some of the figures to prove that the success of time management is evident to students.

Rural students in Idaho and Colorado achieve success

Often, you will associate success on being able to study in large schools or universities found in key urban areas across United States. Almost all successful professionals or graduates so far are product of these schools in urban areas.

Time management do not choose students whether they are from urban or rural areas. Take for instance the states of Colorado and Idaho, which are large rural areas with small school districts.

In one rural school district located in southeastern Idaho, 45 percent of the rural students have garnered honors while 10 percent of it received community recognition.

Studies show school district administrators have included in the curriculum time management subjects. The students develop their time management skills to cope up with different activities both on and off the school campus.

A student from Idaho Digital Learning Academy took up an online course in English literature and Composition. Although working as a clerk in a law office at the same time, she managed to earn a grade of 93 in that course.

Asked what her secret on success is, she says that time management skills help her to get through with her studies. She confessed that it is hard to work as a student and at the same time a part-time worker. However, she did not let that to be an obstacle in her goal.

Transformation: From Freshman to Successful Student

Change in education level is quite difficult. From your elementary years, you will now be facing your freshman status in high school. In addition, the same will apply when you go to college.

Placement or entrance tests are usually conducted to screen incoming freshman students (whether high school or college). Students with deficient study habits and poor time management skills are having difficulty in passing entrance exams.

That is one of the reasons why there are many students failing the exam, or although passing it, but they are just on the average rating (between 83-85 percent).

Students who tend to develop good time management skills are keeping up with his studies even though some of high school or college freshman subjects are not familiar with them. Statistics shows that 54 to 62 percent are performing well in mathematics and science subjects.

Another fact, 56 to 73 percent of total freshman population are engaging themselves to different non-academic activities despite of tremendous pressure during their first year.

The above-mentioned percentages of success is a proof that time management is indeed a vital factor in being successful in studies.

Balance your Act: College Student Tips for Time Management

2009-07-29T20:51:00.000-07:00

Being in college is a situation that warrants steady nerves and good time management skills. Indeed, college students are dangerously prone to stress and pressure. What with attending classes, studying, working a part-time job, doing extracurricular activities and finding time for social functions and interactions with family and friends, you might find it hard to balance your time properly.

You cannot afford to concentrate on just one particular activity and lose track with the others. You must distribute your time well and avoid tipping over the precarious balance of activities once you have established them.

It is easy to say that you need to balance your act and find time for every responsibility you have engaged in. Still you need a supreme hold over your time management in order that you can balance your college schedule properly.

Here are several college student tips for time management. These will help you stay balanced and stress-free as you go about your everyday obligations as a college student.

1. You have to set up your goals. In Steven Covey’s "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, he shared a very good story of big rocks in a jar wherein the moral is that you need to set out your topmost priorities in life, or your big rocks, first. This way, you will clearly define your ultimate goal and not have to neglect it once other smaller goals or priorities (small rocks, sand and water, in Covey’s story) pile up to occupy your time.

Once you have put in your ultimate goal, then you can set out to determine particular goals. For example, define your academic goals, extracurricular goals and social activity goals. By doing so, you can determine what you want to accomplish in a day, a week, a whole semester and even a whole school year.

Setting goals will help you become more inclined to follow through with them and check them off one by one as you accomplish each.

2. Set your priorities straight. Once you determined what your ultimate and particular goals are, then you will know what to accomplish. Getting your priorities straight means figuring out which tasks you must accomplish foremost in order to achieve your set goals. You can set up a list everyday on what are the activities that warrant your most attention.

3. Get organized. This is a time management discipline and the key to completing your tasks in a timely manner. Identify each goal you have and determine the schedule when they need to be accomplished. A weekly calendar is called for.

Here, you must list your class schedule, set a few hours of review, mark social events, club meetings, exercise time, and any other necessary activity essential to achieving your ultimate goal. . For each activity, make sure you have included the inclusive period for them and deadlines or due dates of accomplishment.

Look up faithfully in this calendar for you to develop a regular routine while managing to balance your time on numerous tasks.

4. Remember that procrastination is a deficiency. When you allow procrastination to seep into your being, it will cause you to fail miserably in balancing your time. Once you have set out to accomplish a task or plan on doing an activity, by all means, do so. Do not ever neglect a schedule or forget a due date.

Beware of the habit of putting off for tomorrow what you can do today. This kind of attitude will result to stress and excessive pressure on your part, which is not healthy.

5. Make use of each extra minute wisely. You can accomplish small tasks during some situations when you find yourself with nothing to do, like waiting for the bus or sitting idly in between classes. These circumstances are good opportunity to accomplish simple tasks that will constitute the completion of larger tasks.

6. Identify the time of day when you know you are most productive. By identifying the time when you have more energy to work, you will know when to start and finish challenging or demanding tasks.

Meanwhile, during the time when you have less energy to work, dedicate them to less challenging jobs. Implement this time management strategy and see how you will get more tasks accomplished in each day.

Develop a well-maintained time management plan involving these tips and you will achieve better time management skills as you mature. You will also become a balanced all-around college student!

ADD: Emotional Issues Rear Up Early

2009-06-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

How kids interact with other kids around them is one indicator of how well they will develop in life. Some will do well, and others will continue to struggle throughout adulthood. But if they have ADD, they will probably have trouble making friends or be outright rejected by their classmates when they're very young. If you don't recognize the signs, these ADD kids will often have the most trouble as they grow into adulthood.

Trouble with peers often shows itself early because some kids with ADD lack control in the classroom. This irritates the kids around them, just as much as it annoys the teacher. The ADD kid often requires more of the teacher's attention, making the other kids feel slighted, and they see this child as the "bad" kid in the classroom. This is especially true in the early grades when kids are forming relationships and becoming part of a group. The child with attention deficit is left out because they aren't like the other kids in the group.

Social skills training can be very helpful if provided when these problems appear. If your child is ADD, you may find that he or she will do much better with a little guidance. Social skills training teaches them specific ways to make and keep friends, and the counseling includes help with conversational skills, ways to manage conflict, becoming part of a group, and managing anger.

Yet, not all kids with attention deficit are so easily recognized. Without the hyperactivity component, the child may not be seen as having ADD until he or she is older. This can happen as late as middle school. They aren't usually behavior problems and can usually get by in elementary school when the academics are less demanding. People with attention deficit tend to be highly intelligent, and can make it through the early grades with minimal trouble. But as they move into higher elementary grades and middle school, they get more homework, have multiple teachers, and that's when the struggle begins.

Because their performance level has changed, these kids are often labeled "lazy." This can make them lose their motivation and the whole thing spills even further into their social lives. Their self-esteem drops rapidly and nobody understands what's wrong. They tend to feel very alone and very much like losers.

But they aren't losers! They have ADD, and parents need to be aware of what's going on in their children's lives. Parents can't smooth out every bump in the road, but if you see your child struggling to make friends and having trouble in the classroom early on, attention deficit could be the issue. Get a proper diagnosis and some social skills training to help them. If they're older and you realize that their schoolwork is suffering, they may have been having attention deficit issues all along. Get them help for their ADD and the help they need to make it through school. Remember, they're probably very smart and can do the work. You just have to get them the help they need to pay attention.

A Simple And Effective Mind Power Technique

2009-06-20T19:39:00.000-07:00

There are many different techniques you can use to tap into the amazing power of your thoughts. I have here for you a simple visualization exercise which becomes extremely powerful when you master it.

Visualization basically means to sustain an idea or image in our mind of what we want to create for a few minutes everyday. A good example can be that sports persons today use visualization just before they compete. They envision themselves successful in whatever sport it is that they play. And the result is that their game improves drastically.

You should know that the subconscious mind can not distinguish between what is real and what is imagined! Take a few seconds right now and close your eyes. Imagine that you are drinking pure lemon juice for example. Then watch how you react.

The visualization should also be in a conscious and controlled manner, and should be as real and vivid as possible. We should be able to feel the desired result taking place right in front of us and it is a skill that must be developed for most people, so some patience is needed.

Here is a simple technique to develop your visualization skills...

1. First relax yourself. The more relaxed you are, the more control you will have over your thoughts.

2. Use the 3-Finger technique. Let the tips of your thumb, index and middle finger touch each other. It should be done on both your hands. This has been known to help your mind focus.

3. Take something simple – an outline of a triangle or square maybe, and make a firm resolve to focus only on this for the next 5 minutes or so.

4. Now while you are visualizing, you will notice that your mind keeps wavering about. Do not fight it, because that is counter-productive. Just accept it, and move back to the image you had chosen to visualize.

Regular practice of the above exercise will surely improve your visualization skills tremendously. So there you have it! A simple and effective mind power technique you can start using immediately.

Achieve Success: Three Top Tips

2009-06-10T19:37:00.000-07:00

In this article today I want to share with you three top tips for success! Success to you could be many things; however we are all capable of a dream, just like we are all capable of achievement. Let me ask you a question – if you could do anything right now, what would you do? Maybe you would become a millionaire; maybe you would lose some weight, maybe you would buy a holiday home someplace hot or maybe you would like to just feel happier. Whatever you want to achieve, you can. It might not be simple to get to your goal, but it is achievable as only you set the limits on what is impossible.

1.Define your goal! This is the most important part as here you will work out exactly what you want to achieve. When thinking about your goal your mind will sometimes go off in a daydream as you start thinking about what you want to achieve. You need to make these daydreams positive, as when we daydream we are telling the subconscious parts of our brain what we want. This helps with tip two, but on to that in a minute. When you define your goal – make sure that it has no negative side effects. For instance, becoming a millionaire and having a gambling problem won’t really go hand in hand – you will need to deal with the gambling first as not to get yourself in a worse position.

2.Deal with your limiting beliefs! Limiting beliefs are like cancer to success. It is best to deal with them upfront and firmly. When we daydream our beliefs and our limiting beliefs get more of a foothold with in our brain and before long they just pop up automatically. Allow yourself to daydream about your achievement, but always allow it to be positive. Before long this new positive attitude will win through, stomping on any of the old limiting beliefs from the past.

3.Stop the complaining! Success is not always going to be easy – sometimes it means going out of your way. Don’t let yourself whinge or complain as this will only lower your moral. Just keep in mind all of the wonderful things that success and achievement are going to bring you! Keep an image in your mind of how great it is going to feel when you have achieved your goal and all of the wonderful things that will happen because of your success.

A Very Simple Guide To Learn Numerology

2009-05-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

Numerology may turn out to be very interesting, once you get geared up to know about this incredible science. Numbers reveal a great deal about you according to this unique stream of numbers. Your life path number and universal number are two basic tools to tell you about your numerological facts. However, I must mention that, numerology only appeals to those who believe in it.

If you want to learn numerology, the first thing that you should know is two different ways of getting numerology relevant numbers. The first option is to use summation of digits of your birth date to reach at a single digit that is known as life path number, the other option is to look at numbers that represent letters of your name.

According to basic numerology each single digit number has certain traits either behavioral or physical associated with it. And all people possess a single digit life path number that determine their personality. These traits associated with one to nine are basically meant to be interpreted after ascertaining life path number. In a way single digit numbers could be called life path numbers.

These numbers depict following traits of a human personality.

1: Number one depicts liberty, determination, conviction and leadership traits. People with 1 as life path number are borne leaders and reformers.

2: Number two reflect a balanced personality with enough flexibility for cooperation. People with 2 as life path number are quite balanced and organized by nature.

3: Number three symbolizes creative urges and imaginative power. If you have three as your life path number you are naturally born as a creative folk with great versatility.

4: If 4 is your life path number your traits are, conventional, pragmatic and hard working. You could be successful in life with inherent dedication towards work.

5: The digit 5 signifies a rebellious and very liberated personality. With five as your life path number you could be quite unconventional in your approach towards life.

6: People having 6 as life path number, tend to be quite family oriented. They are very responsible towards their duties and turn out best parents.

7: Number 7 depicts a mysterious personality. Folks with seven as life path number could be great conspirators on the other hand they could be great thinkers and innovators as well.

8: Number 8 as a life path number would ensure materialistic success and status to a person.

9: This 9 number as life path number depicts elevated souls. Most of the people with this number happen to be perfectionist.

These numbers and corresponding traits form the basis of numerology. Once you know these aspects of numbers, you have learnt the basis of numerology. Now you just need to attribute these traits to the person born on these dates. For example: Jane is born on June 16th, 1985. The life path number for Jane is 1+6=7. The above mentioned traits of number 7 will define the basis of Jane’s character.

2 Easy Ways To Manage Your Anger

2009-05-20T19:36:00.001-07:00

Anger is an emotional feeling and an expression which we all have from time to time. Each and every one of us reacts to anger differently. Some people may feel a great urgency to smash something, some people shouts at the top of their lungs to vent their anger while others will remain silent throughout the entire time.

Anger can lead to destructive consequences. Sadly, most people do not have any form of training or instruction on how to deal with these emotions. As a result, you often see tragedies happening in the news or on TV about how someone who is angry decided to do terrible things to others.

There are many ways to mange your anger effectively and here are a few simple methods you can try

1. Create a destructive outlet.

I know many anger management experts would tell you to control your emotions when angry however it is easier said than done and not always possible.

My way of managing way is to identify a destructive outlet where I can vent my anger without damaging anything or anyone. For me it is a small corner of my bedroom. For you, it could be anywhere in your toilet, the park. Basically somewhere where you would feel peace and quiet and have a moment to yourself.

2. Acknowledge Your Anger

One thing I’ve learned from anger management experts is to know when you are angry.

In order to control your anger, the first step is to identify it. Only when you identify the emotion, can you take steps to control it. It makes sense, does it?

To identify your anger, you have to know what things or events make you angry easily. This depends on the individual and you have to explore it on your own.

Let me give you an example. My wife used to be easily angry whenever the house is dirty because she likes cleanliness. The slightest dirt on the floor will make her irate and she will start shouting and screaming

Since identifying the cause of her anger, she is now better able to manage it and no longer starts to scream and shout.

One last thing I like to add is anger isn’t necessarily bad. It really depends on how people handle it. Learning how to identify and overcome your anger will give you an advantage over the majority of people and can assist you in your family and work life as well.

Forcing Your Goals Versus Empowering Your Dreams

2009-01-30T23:53:00.000-08:00

Many people understand the concept of setting goals in life to empower themselves. What most people don’t know is that goals require a constant stream of force behind them to keep them alive. In other words, you need to push them all the time to make them come true.What do I mean by force and push? To force something is to compel through pressure or necessity. To push a goal is to apply enough force to the goal to keep it fresh and empowered.

This constant pushing of your goal, while necessary, is also a detriment to effective manifestation of the goal itself. Goals are artificially created by the mind and backed up by concepts and beliefs in order for them to work. Take away the concepts and beliefs that give them the foundation to live and they will evaporate in no time.

How does this look like in practice? Let’s assume you have a goal to lose weight. As you may already know, it is important to set your goals precisely. So let’s say you want to lose 25 pounds over the next 3 months, starting today. This goal needs a foundation to work. You need to have some sort of motivation that encourages you to do this.

Let’s look at some reasons you may want to do this:

* You want to look attractive to others
* You want to look attractive to your partner
* You believe that you are overweight
* You want to fit into your favorite dress or pants again

Whatever the reason is, you absolutely need to have one, otherwise you won’t have the motivation to start. And the mere act of starting is the challenging part as you need to change some of your usual behavior and concepts in life. We all know what a challenge changing your behavior and concepts can be!

Behavior is changed in the physical domain, concepts are changed in the mental domain. This double whammy of physical and mental change is what makes a simple thing like weight loss such a challenge to bring off successfully.

Successful goals always come from a corresponding change in the mental domain. Why is this? Simply, it is because your mind and your thoughts are what create your reality. If you change only your behavior, you will have only short-term success. In time, you will fall back to your old pattern of behavior - the very thing you tried to change in the first place!

So lets assume you are in the second month of your weight loss goal and your partner leaves you. What happens to your goal about losing weight? It doesn’t work anymore, it vanishes and evaporates into thin air. You just took away the foundation and the motivation for your goal. As you can see, the problem with goals is that they depend on life circumstances - and they are always forced by mental concepts.

How About Dreams?

Your dreams are powered by source, by the ultimate power of consciousness. Your dreams are the recognition of what you can do with your unique gifts and talents you have brought into this life. Every person comes with a unique set of talents. These talents lead to a unique way of expressing themselves through various forms of creativity. Universal creativity is really what powers everything behind all manifestation.

Occasionally, we utilize unique properties of this creativity in specific ways. With this creativity you are able to serve other people and in return you get rewarded with a form of energy. In our western civilization, the most common reward is often money.

In summary: You discover your strengths, gifts and talents. You find ways to use them that very practically enrich and support society. You are in service to others. By the way, being in service in this way is life’s ultimate purpose.

Your dreams are powered by your unique creative abilities. These abilities are like a never-ending fountain, the wellspring of your life. They will always be with you, in good times and bad. They are completely independent from mental concepts. They are powered by your true nature. You can deny them, but you can’t get rid of them.

Even on the worst day of your life, your dreams still exist. If you don’t live your dreams, you must constantly suppress them by mental concepts like:

* I am too old to start
* I don’t know how to do it
* Nobody will be interested in it
* My friends will hate me when I do it
* You name it!

I have used the words force and power to associate them with goals and dreams. To understand the concepts behind these words I highly recommend David Hawkins book “Power Versus Force. Here are a few definitions from the book that help define the idea of power versus force:

* Force is associated with the partial, power with the whole
* Force must always be justified, power requires no justification
* Force always creates counter-force and its effect is limited by definition
* Force is a movement, power is a skill
* Force always moves against something, power doesn’t move against anything at all
* Force is incomplete and therefore has to be fed energy constantly
* Power is total and complete in itself and requires nothing from outside
* Force constantly consumes while power energizes, supplies and supports
* Power gives life and energy, force takes these away
* Power is associated with compassion, force is associated with judgment
* Force requires proof and support, power is inarguable and not subject to proof

People who fulfill their dreams are the happiest people on earth. They do what’s in their nature. It is completely irrelevant what kind of dreams you have. Dreams don’t need to fit into anything. They don’t need any approval. They don’t need any money to start.

Goals are temporary fixes of your mental desires that do not provide you with lasting happiness. The new car will get old and rusty, the new house will lose its charm over time, and if your goal is to create the perfect partner you will begin to see your partner’s imperfections over time as well.

Your dreams are a recognition of what you truly are and how you can contribute to this world. You will never do anything else in your life but this. There is no true retirement from the contributions you can make in this life. You live this dream to your very last breath.

Embrace the dream! Be the dream!

Finding The Time To Meditate Regularly

2009-01-28T23:53:00.000-08:00

We always seem to be in a rush nowadays. So how can you find the time to spare to meditate? There are so many other things competing for our time that we always seem to be in a rush. Food and coffee on the go, speaking on the cell phone while doing other things, typing away at the computer whilst on the phone to a work colleague.

So how on earth can we devote even 15 or 20 minutes a day to simply meditating?

Initially it may seem an uphill struggle. But you find a few minutes every day to brush your teeth and a meditation session is just as essential for your overall health.

Maybe getting up a few minutes earlier would work for you? Or, if you're an evening person, the last few minutes before you go to sleep. A lot of people find this to be one of the best times to meditate as it puts them into a calm, relaxed state. Perfect for a good night's sleep.

If you can't devote the time every day to meditation, then consider becoming a weekend meditator. Oftentimes, Saturdays and Sundays are not quite as hectic as the rest of the week. So you may be able to regularly spend time on a meditation session. You'll still get a benefit from these sessions.

There are also times during the day that you can re-work to make the time to meditate.

If you watch the news, skip it! The news will still happen and if something important crops up, someone will tell you about it. This works well for me - I catch up on the news weekly and have yet to suffer withdrawal symptoms from my previous daily dose of news.

If you have a television recorder, use it to skip the adverts. That will free up 15 minutes or more per hour of television you watch.

Double Or Triple Your Time!

2009-01-25T23:53:00.000-08:00

Why do some say that time is much more important than wealth? Nearly all biographies and self-help books, by top leaders and speakers from the past decades, all focus on time as being the most important resource available. When we manage our use of time, through self-mastery, success is a natural product of that effort. Success becomes the harvest we reap.

Proven Technique Number 1 - Delegate and assign simple routine tasks to other people.

If you have a home business, consider hiring a temp to deal with book entry. Most people don't need a full time employee and the time you save allows you to focus on building your vision. This is very elementary but of great significance. If you have the money, hire people to do the housework, the repairing, and even some of your other office jobs. Let others do the research. But of course, you have to reward them accordingly so they will be motivated to render their services again. There are also web sites dedicated to connecting you with the talent you need to complete projects. Use their skills to fulfill your dreams.

Proven Technique Number 2 - Plan

Begin with the end in mind is a popular phrase and it represents a very important principal. The less time you think you have, the more critical it is for you to plan. By planning carefully, you'll be able to manage your time better and avoid costly mistakes that eat up even more of your time.

Can you imagine an archery competition where there are no targets? How would the archer know if he or she hit anything, or even came close? Too often we treat our lives and our businesses as though the target is unimportant.

You might say that you're so busy you don't even have time to plan. That's usually a sign that you need to take time to plan more than anyone else. The payoff is the ability to see your entire project holistically and see efficiencies in tasks and perhaps areas where you can hire out.

Your plan is like a road map. Spend enough time to ponder through the different approaches and activities, and you will soon realize that you can save a lot more time by doing this. Make sure you are going towards the right goal and check your plan from time to time to make sure you haven't driven off then road.

Choose a quiet place to make your plan and let your mind focus on this important process.

Every individual has a unique perception of a well-made plan. There are no specific rules in making it. Here are some tips which you can apply to your own system.

1. Write down your objective. This is a precise definition of your target.

2. Brainstorm the strategies & tactics you will employ to accomplish your objective.

3. Assess the advantages & disadvantages of carrying out those strategies & choose those tactics where the pros outweigh the cons.

4. Set a timeline or deadline in completing your mission.

5. Make modifications & back-up plans in case Plan A doesn't work.

6. Learn from the evolution of your plan. It's from this experience, and comparison to your original plan, that you will gain skills and talent.

The most important time management tip of all is to take action immediately. If your time is that important, then don't waste it by sitting around or over planning. Determine your course and move. You can always make course corrections as you move along.

Crush This Economy - Spirituality Information

2009-01-23T23:52:00.000-08:00

Economy I understand not,

Nor the GDP all short,

Figures they are for the intellect,

What use it that for the poor to recollect.......

Economy stinks... Economy has failed miserably...History stands witness... There are very few people who have bid goodbye to this world with a smiling face... The wrinkles and scars of the stupid economy are visible in every face. Economy gives a job to someone,makes a company rich and fills the coffers of the Government but it leaves most of the people spiritually poor....Economy is nothing but cashing in on your lowest desires and stripping you of your inner powers.

Economy has to make a country rich while it has not... It has made only 5% individuals wealthy.... The remaining 95% of the population have to work for money. There is a huge difference between making money work for you and you going after money. Wealthy people make money work for them and the rest have to go to job everyday to earn money. There is nothing wrong in going for a job but a flourishing economy has to facilitate richness of thoughts... It has to make you spiritually rich... It has to make you content , feel worthy of whatever you are doing. 95% of the population who earn money maybe happy but they are not content. There is a lack of self worth in individuals, a seemingly visible helplessness which is apparent in the way they talk,act and go about doing their daily chores. This economy of the world has never worked and will never again in the near future.

The basis of the economy all over the world is to provide you the basic comforts a job, a house , a car ,a mobile phone,insurance and the list goes on ... It attempts to tell you that we can make you rich but it forces you to wear the garb of a beggar ... It gives you comfort toys but it clips your hands and steals away your freedom... It keeps inventing new gadgets of comforts and throws it at you and you like a beggar pick it up because it is attractive and that is all you can do... You are a beggar and I am a bigger one than you..... because i did it all through my life.. I failed to understand the difference between a beggar begging on the street, a prostitute mortgaging her body and a executive trading his/her intelligence. To me they are nothing but different levels of begging. One is lending her body the other the mind... But there is something far greater than all this which we never touched upon, which we as individuals never thought about,... an area within us where there is no trading, no give and take, where everythingl happens effortlessly and you do not force anything upon you ...... This area is called the Economy of love....

The reason i am so excited about this economy of love is because it is totally driven by you and the external factors cannot overpower it. The economy of love holds you completely accountable for your actions. It attempts to build individual economies based on the richness of your mind and nothing else. It's sole objective is to perfect the greatest tool called the mind and make it so rich,so full of energy, so full of ideas that it eventually enables an individual to get everything that he or she truly wants . It bases it's philosophy on this powerful quote from Swami Vivekananda " Isn't it man that makes money. Where did you ever hear of money making man? If you can make your thoughts and words perfectly at one, if you can I say, make yourself one in speech and actions money will pour in at your feet like water..."

When a billion people endeavor to do build this individual economy a new world will be created. The world which exists in your mind is a million times more stronger, more beautiful than the external world. It is this mind that you have total control over and I encourage you to dominate it and build an economy which will serve as a benchmark for all other minds....

Stop talking about the economy of the world of which you have zero control and start building upon the economy of Love within. There are some who have to sow the seeds and there are others who enjoy its fruits. Your role is to sow the seeds of the economy of love so that couple of decades later your children, your well wishers, and all those beings who travel in this kingdom of God salute you for your commendable vision.

We don't want a billion hands to hold a stupid mobile phone. We want them to crush this dry economy given to us by our forefathers and embrace the force of God within. Economy of love is individualistic and hence accountable . Economy of the world is all about intellectual figures and makes very little sense for the common man. I chose economy of love over the economy of the world.... I care a damn of the economy of the world because the inner force within me never understood those sane figures....

Change Your Story, Improve Your Life

2009-01-20T23:51:00.000-08:00

What do you tell yourself and others about your life? Do you paint a picture of your life as happy and optimistic or as somber and sad?

It’s not what happens to us in this life but it is what we do with and about what happens to us in this life. Life is not fair. Never has been. Never will be. That’s just the way it is. So if you don’t like the hand that you’ve been dealt you have a right to complain all you want but that won’t change circumstances and it won’t make it better. It will make it worse.

Our lives are defined by the stories we tell ourselves and others. Good things happen to everybody and bad things happen to everybody. But it’s the story we tell that emphasizes the event.

We’ve all heard inspiring stories about people who have overcame hardships and difficulties. Those are the stories everyone likes to hear. They remind us of the triumph of the human spirit. On the other hand we all hear stories of gloom and doom from often well-meaning friends, loved ones, relatives. We hear exaggerated stories of sickness and despair. But all of the exaggeration of the bad brings more bad to your life. You get what you focus on. You see what you look for. If you are focusing on “how bad it is” that is what you are getting, more of “how bad it is”. If you are focused on the good that is what you get more of “the good”.

You can choose the stories you tell in your own life. You can choose to downplay the bad things and focus on the good things.

You can choose to put your emotions into the happy and joyful things and minimize your emotional words and stories about the bad things. We all have things we don’t like and things that happen to us that we would rather not have in our lives, but our lives go on. And our stories go on. The definition of what happened to you lies in the story you tell about it. When you change your story, you change your life because you changed the meaning and the definition of what happened.

Viktor Frankl, the holocaust survivor and the author of the great book “Man’s Search for Meaning” said

“Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Mr. Frankl survived one of most horrific events of all times. He could have told a horrendous story but he chose not to. Somehow he found meaning in it and he chose for his story to be a triumph of the human spirit.

May he inspire us all.

Are You Wishing For Something? Stop! The More You Wish- The More You Might Not Get It

2009-01-18T23:51:00.000-08:00

Are You Ready For Change In Your Life?

When you are willing to set goals, your motivation becomes more focused and less confused in everyday interactions. Setting goals and designing your dreams and aspirations is a commitment to participate in a dynamic relationship and interaction between yourself and others. Committing yourself to be in a relationship with others helps to create an environment of self-support. The “willingness” to define your goals and aspirations provide you with the motivation to focus on achieving your goals.

Your “will” to take action and achieve your goals is different than wishing your goals to complete themselves. Wishing is a desire for the possibility of some act or state arbitrarily occurring. When it comes to making your goals happen, wishing can be self-sabotaging. “Willing” is self-responsible behavior. When you take conscious control of your life, you actively plan your course or direction. Determining your direction builds positive momentum in your life. Creating positive momentum and enthusiasm drive you to share your enthusiasm with others. When you encourage others to believe in themselves you build positive momentum in their lives.

Your first responsibility as an encouraging person is to yourself. Make your best effort to provide the proper atmosphere for growth to occur. Discovering your own personal power and “free will” requires an attitude of positive self-control.

Without commitment, you are helplessly determined by others and their “will.” To overcome fear and determine your own destiny, you must make a commitment to believe in your own free will. By being committed, you actively assert yourself in your relationship with others and the world. When you become self-supportive, you become better equipped to overcome barriers that prevent you from reaching your goals. By committing yourself to your goals, you generate power in taking a risk to achieve your goals. Developing clarity of focus increases your self-determination and your ability to make up your own mind.

Breaking the shackles of past behaviors and attitudes that have kept you from growing and changing can be uncomfortable. Change is not always comfortable, and it’s definitely not stable or predictable. Deciding to make new, positive changes that generate excitement, or to remain in your stable, sedentary world (or relationship), is a decision only you can make. You have one question to ask yourself: What’s rewarding to you? If you’re comfortable with staying in one spot in life, that’s your choice. But if you want to move on and travel to new destinations, mentally and emotionally, then go for the change.

The challenge is to take conscious control of producing positive thoughts and behaviors that will create healthy choices for you and your life. Make up your mind and overcome your fears. Your positive attitude, like your “will,” is powerful medicine. Turn on your power key to success and become more dynamic. Get fired up and drive with conviction toward your dreams.

7 Great Tips On Using Your Free Affirmations

2009-01-15T23:51:00.000-08:00

Affirmations are a simple and effective way to influence your subconscious mind. It is quite easy for you to search the Internet to find tones of free affirmations in various categories. I have also written another article on how you can write your own affirmations. But this one is going to focus on ways to increase their power!

Remember that it is always better to stick to a certain group of affirmations for a while, since we absorb them faster this way. Also, you should feel the desired result taking place already.

Written below are 7 different way to make your free affirmations more powerful…

1. You should get into a relaxed state of mind. When this happens, our conscious minds are less intrusive, thus leaving our subconscious minds wide open. You should use this to your advantage.

2. Repeat them while looking at yourself in the mirror.

3. We all tend to remember rhymes and tunes more easily. So choose your affirmations and just get a bit creative.

4. The times just before sleeping and after waking up are great for influencing the subconscious. So make sure you use them at these times.

5. If you are in a place where it would not be appropriate for you to use them out loud. You can just repeat it to yourself mentally. It helps if you imagine it getting louder and louder.

6. Write them down. This has much more power than just verbally repeating it. I would suggest that you write each one at least 10 times daily or so. Of course, the more you do it the better.

7. Write them down on pieces of paper and stick then around your home or workplace. This way, you are always reminded of them. Just make sure it is a place you visit often.

You are probably wondering how long it will take you to see changes in yourself, right? Well, it is scientifically proven that it takes 21 days for one person to change form one habit to another. So don’t lose heart, just keep doing it for a while. Remember, you have an infinite number of free affirmations from which you can choose from!

7 Different Stress Management Techniques

2009-01-13T23:50:00.000-08:00

Stress, burnout and physical exhaustion have become a way of life for many people. You need to feel that you can get a handle on what stresses you, and diffuse this stress in different ways so as to maintain both your physical and emotional health.

The ways we and others cause stress can come from habits or our own thoughts and feelings about how things are going. Or perhaps your own actions can be adjusted to cause less stress.

If you want to be calm and relaxed, with less stress then be sure to read these different stress management techniques for some ideas to help.

1. Be organized. You can plan all you want, but if you cannot find the project, list or information you were to work with, it is pretty stressful.

2. Make a list of what you want to accomplish, and then decide which are the most important things to do on that list. Do that first and then go to your less important items.

3. Allow for interruptions and changes. If you schedule yourself so tight that you can’t be interrupted for the 15 minutes you spent talking to an unexpected caller, you may find yourself highly stressed. Chill out and realize that there will be some interruptions and you can handle that.

4. Have realistic expectations of yourself and others. No one is superman. You cannot get three days work done in one day. Don’t wait till the last minute and put so much stress on yourself with huge amounts of work.

5. Take some time for a break a couple times a day. It is like changing gears and allows your mind to rest for a few minutes while you do something you enjoy, not something you have to do.

6. Find some time each day to exercise or take a walk. This helps to burn off more stress.

7. Once you are done for the day, take some time to relax. Find hobbies that you enjoy and that reduce your stress.

Stress is a part of life, but you also need ways to de stress and not let it get the best of you. These different stress management techniques and tips should help you find ways to manage your stress.

5 Stress Reduction Tips To Help You Avoid Holiday Burnout

2009-01-10T23:49:00.000-08:00

The festive season is fast approaching and for many people, stress depression and anxiety can make this season anything but merry. Here’s 5 stress reduction tips to help you avoid burnout during the holidays:

• Lower your expectations. The holidays are so exciting! Being with loved ones, Christmas decorations, lights, presents and much feasting! As the holiday approaches, expectations increase as to how the holiday will be only for them to be dashed when the holidays arrive. So, try not to place high expectations on how events will unfold. Always expect the unexpected and remember that humans can react unpredictably and surprisingly. Also, life can throw us the odd curve ball, especially when we least want it, so just have a “what will be will be” attitude and hopefully, the holidays will be perfect. Avoiding high expectations means you won’t become stressed out or upset should things not turn out the way you wanted.

• Plan ahead. Make a detailed plan for all of the things you need to do. Be thorough and try to do as much in advance as possible. The more you can get done before the holidays the less stressful the season will be. Include shopping, decorations, wrapping, meal preparation, sending cards, visiting family, and a schedule for the big day. This will help you get organized so you’ll get more done and you’ll feel less stressed. Make checklists so you can mark progress as you go. Another great tip is to have a backup plan in case things go awry.

• Delegate. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done to ensure happy holidays. The Christmas dinner alone really can be hard work for the cook! Too much work leads to stress burnout so make sure the whole family share the workload. Delegate by sharing chores amongst the whole family and get children involved too. It’s true – many hands make light work – and they also reduce stress in doing so.

• As much as the holidays are about spending time with family, having the family over can be highly stressful. Not all families get along, and stress levels can soar at get-togethers. If you have family members who are unappreciative, argumentative, aggressive, sulky – the kind of people who will spoil the day, then say “no!” and don’t invite them. The holidays are about joy and happiness, so inviting people who will ruin everyone’s day isn’t on. But a sense of duty can lead to inviting someone around against your better judgement. Your only duty is to your immediate family – your spouse and your children – not to any other family members. If your family get along, fine, but if you know there’s going to be fireworks, then make everyone’s day by not having stress as an unwanted holiday guest.

• Set your budget and stick to it. It’s really tempting to spend money during the holidays and many people will rack up huge debts doing so. The debt then becomes a major stress factor after the holidays have ended. You don’t need to buy people expensive gifts and you don’t need to go into debt to impress people. The Internet is a fantastic source for finding creative and imaginative gifts that will give the receiver a highly valued special surprise because it shows thoughtfulness. Debt is to stress what pizzas are to waistlines and you can pay a heavy price for impressing people with gifts. Stick to your budget and you will reduce stress, not just over the holidays but for many months after.

Control Anger With Hypnosis

2009-01-08T01:09:00.000-08:00

Anger is best defined as an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation, to intense fury and rage. It is a perfectly natural and potentially productive human emotion; a response to a threat that inspires powerful, often aggressive feelings reactions, which allow us to fight back and defend ourselves. As such, in the days of prehistoric man, experiencing anger was critical to our survival.

However in more modern times, we usually feel anger when we are being hurt; our boundaries are being violated; our needs are being ignored; or, during numerable other scenarios where our expectations are not being met. In these situations we express anger as a means to regain control of the situation and in that regard; it is a perfectly natural state.

Most people experience a healthy dose of anger many times during their lives. However anger becomes a problem when it is experienced too frequently, too intensely, or for long periods of time.

•Too Frequently – most people respond to difficult everyday situations by experiencing relatively healthy emotions such as stress, frustration, hurt or even fear; they reserve anger for the really serious situations in life. However for some of us, we tend to react to everyday situations by immediately getting angry and it becomes an all too frequent response, affecting our relationships, our careers and the quality of our lives.

•Too Intensely – even when most people get angry, the level of anger is usually restricted to raising the voice and expressing a few choice words. However for some of us we find our anger is much more intense, and when we get court up in it, it leads to unnecessary levels of aggression and quite possibly violence.

•Too Long – and even when ordinary people get angry to a more intense level, as a result of venting the anger, they usually find it subsides within a short space of time. However for some of us, once we're into the cycle, it's difficult to get out of. Even after the situation is over, we may stay caught in a loop, mulling over agitated thoughts and images for no productive purpose, leaving us with a lingering sense of anger, victimization, and disappointment that permeates us and those around us for hours, possibly days.

And when we experience anger that’s too frequent, too intense or too long lasting, there are harmful effects on our health - because anger involves the activation of many physical arousal systems, anger causes a very real strain on your body. Recent scientific studies have found that recurrent anger contributes to a number of serious illnesses, including heart disease and hypertension.

For those of us who realise we’re hurting and pushing away the people in our lives, damaging our family, social and work relationships, not to mention our health, there is a plethora of self-help material out there on the web.

But do they work? Well that’s something that you’re going to have decide for yourself. But here’s the point, the primary source of anger related issues is the sub or unconscious mind. Anger is not a conscious response - if you could consciously decide to stop getting angry, wouldn’t you simply decide to do so?

The reality is that this would be a little like asking your conscious mind to forget how to ride a bike. You couldn’t could you, even if you tried? And that’s the point, whilst all these self-help strategies may have some merit, they do not deal with the real source of the issue, they do not access the unconscious mind, the reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that sit outside of our conscious awareness and influence all of our behaviours and experiences.

Through hypnosis, we can access the unconscious mind and harness its extreme power to reprogram habitual patterns of behaviour, such as responding angrily to everyday situations.

Hypnosis bypasses the conscious mind and creates an alternative state of consciousness in which attention is focused away from the present reality. Rather like day dreaming, attention can then be focussed towards particular images, thoughts, perceptions, feelings, motivations and behaviours which will help change our habitual responses and learnt behaviours.

Our body already has natural mechanisms to handle stress and regulate emotions such as anger, but occasionally they need help in operating properly. Hypnosis helps you do just that – it enlists the help of your unconscious mind in making the necessary long term changes for you to be free of anger, allowing you to be altogether more relaxed and in control in all those situations in which you used to lose control.

5 Sure Fire Ways To Overcome Fear

2009-01-05T01:02:00.000-08:00

Fear can be either a great motivator, or a fierce road block. Because we often establish our own limitations, these road blocks can actually be a good thing. They can alert us to be cautious, and they can cause us to analyze whether or not what we are doing is right for us.

Sometimes, however, a road block needs to be knocked down in order for us to grow. Overcoming a road block gives you a learning experience that you can't get any other way. Deciding to take action and move forward is the first step towards freeing yourself of whatever it is that confines you. But what do you do if you feel you can't take action?

Sometimes we're just not able to attack something head on. It seems too big, too unfamiliar, and we feel as though we don't have the support we need to get through it. Overcoming a fear is a great liberator, as whatever is holding you back is a great weight on you. Below are 5 sure fire ways to overcome your fears and get what you want. Use them to empower yourself to make change, and you'll feel lighter, more energized, and more relaxed all at the same time.

1. Take small steps - Afraid of something big? Break that big monster down into smaller, bite-sized pieces. We don't start out in life driving cars or running for President, but we can work up to those things. Afraid to ask your boss for a raise? Start by asking other people for small things you normally wouldn't ask for, then challenge yourself by raising the bar each day.

2. Realize you are not alone - Afraid of flying? I used to be afraid of flying, and plenty of other people are too. Go to the airport and watch how many people get on and off planes each day. Some of those people are afraid to fly but they do it anyway. Some of them used to be afraid to fly. Maybe one or two of them just took their first flight and overcame their fear. They did it and you can too. Now, go buy your ticket.

3. Use a friend - Yes, the buddy system works. Find a friend that you can confide in about your fear and tell them you need their help. This needs to be a supportive person who will not judge you and does not have an interest in the outcome. With the help of a friend, I overcame my fear of roller coasters. What helped was that she really enjoys roller coasters and was excited about both riding the coasters, and helping me.

4. Learn - Many times we are afraid of the unknown more than anything. In these cases, getting familiar with the subject or situation can make them seem less intimidating. Are you afraid of home improvement projects? Take a class or read a book. Home depot stores offer instruction on many different types of home projects, and they also sell books as well. Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity and learn first hand how a house is built from the ground up. Whatever the subject, there's a way to learn about it.

5. Visualize - When children play "make believe," they are actually confronting fears. They pretend they are in totally unfamiliar territory, doing unfamiliar things, yet they are in total control over what happens. Use this same technique by using your own imagination to create the outcome you desire. As adults using self-improvement methods, we usually call this technique visualization. A group of basketball players once practiced by pretending over and over to shoot the ball through the hoop. When they actually got back on the court, their shooting had improved! Imagine that you are overcoming your doubts and taking action in your most ideal state. Run the scenario over and over again in your mind until it is second nature. See yourself conquering your fear. Now go do it!

Combine these techniques for even more powerful results. For example, using a friend to help you take small steps will help you realize you're not alone. Learning about the subject or situation will help you to visualize and reach your goal faster.

When you just can't seem to get up the courage to tackle your fear head on, use these five techniques to move ahead. Used alone or in combination, these methods will expand your horizons and move you to bigger and better things. Imagine if Benjamin Franklin or Thomas Edison let fear of failure prevent them from doing great things. Decide today to take action and notice the difference it makes.

5 Qualities Of An Inspiring Leader

2009-01-03T00:21:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been in a position where you wanted to help someone out so bad that you were frustrated because everything you have tried doesn’t work? Or the person doesn’t seem to hear what you’re saying?

Often times we feel that there is something more that we either should have done, could be doing or didn’t do. We can find ourselves going around in circles in our thoughts and then punishing ourselves because we couldn’t come up with an answer.

I have to tell you that in my experience, the very fact that you care, you can pretty much trust that you have done all that you could. If you aren’t able to effect a change, please consider that maybe you weren’t meant to in this case.

Or the person isn’t allowing you to help them.

We all know someone that we have tried to help who can’t seem to hear what we are saying. Or they can’t see what’s right in front of them. Some people…don’t even want help.

I’ve found that we find comfort in our suffering. It’s safe and there are no surprises.

I think that we have all felt that at one time or another.

So what are the qualities of a good friend, wife, husband, leader or whatever role you are playing in someone’s life?

Be and example. Be an inspiration.

It’s not tough to do really. You just have to be, you. Without the ego getting involved.

I believe that we are like a lighthouse in a way. We shine our lights out to sea and whoever is supposed to be drawn to that will come into our path. Some choose not to see it. Others cringe at how bright your light is. While others still, rush to suck up every bit of your power.

But if you notice, Lighthouses don’t dim they’re lights because someone can’t handle it…or try to shine brighter because a certain boat isn’t paying attention.

It just shines. No matter what the weather is on the outside.

So really, all you have to do is shine without strain, without effort and without thinking about it too much wondering if there is something more you should be doing.

Again, the very fact that you have compassion towards a person and care about them enough to want to do something to help them sometimes is enough. They will pick up on that energy and if there is something more to be done then it will present itself.

That’s tough to do though because we want to be in control. We want to make sure that we are doing everything. We even want to control another’s experience. Isn’t that right? Check to see inside of you what you are really feeling when you are trying to help someone else out.

Most of us want three things:

* We Want Security
* We Want Approval and
* We want Control

Sometimes it’s just one of these, sometimes it’s a mixture of all three.

If you are not happy with a situation the way that it is, don’t you want it to be different? Do you want to change the outcome? That is what wanting control feels like.

That is an article for another day.

Right now let’s focus again on being the best inspiration that you can be. When you are just being the soul light that you are you are setting an example. Whether you are aware of it or not, the other person will notice. You may not see that difference now, but trust me, you will plant a seed inside of that person and when they are meant to, they will come out of the fog that has been keeping them from seeing the truth.

In my opinion qualities of a good leader are:

* Sets an example and lives what he/she teaches
* Gives permission to other people to just be themselves
* Allows others to follow their path without tainting their experience
* Sends their love and light without getting the ego involved
* Encourages, not demands a shift in another’s perception

I know that this may not be the immediately answer that you were looking for but what makes an inspiring leader? One who lives what they are teaching; especially in business.

Do you want someone as a boss who practices “do what I say and not what I do?”

Be a light. Be an example. And through this way you will become everything that everyone needs from you. They will follow their path and you will follow yours.

But I don’t want you to just believe me. Try it for yourself to see if this doesn’t ease some pressure off you in your dealings with other people. After all, if what you’re doing so far isn’t working, would you be willing to try another way?

Be the soul light that you were meant to be and you will both prosper from it.

5 Inspiring Action Verbs That Can Change Your Life

2009-01-01T00:16:00.000-08:00

If you're having trouble getting inspired, it may be simply your choice of verbs. Here are 5 action verbs that can help get you inspired and get you out of your rut.

We've all been stuck in that place where things just don't seem to go forward. We have trouble getting motivated and our goals seem either out of reach, or too weak. In short, we are uninspired! Master motivator Tony Robbins tells us that it's not that people are lazy, it's that most people have weak, or as he puts it, impotent goals.

Some self improvement experts will tell you that you have to have a good attitude in order to improve your life. I would agree with that, but it's not always that easy. It's hard to set aggressive goals and get inspired to achieve them when your mindset is not right.

If your mind is not ready to embrace more exciting goals, then change will be at best, difficult. In fact, if you're not ready for it, then it will be hard to conquer even small challenges. If you can't take on small challenges, then it's going to be impossible to change your life to the degree you'd ultimately like.

To that end, I recommend using action to inspire yourself and create change. In effect, we're placing the cart before the horse here, and forcing our attitude to match our actions. If you shake things up by taking action first, you'll get your mind ready to create and pursue more exciting goals.

Below are 5 inspiring action verbs that you can use to shake things up and get yourself mentally ready to take on new challenges. If you use these techniques, even in small ways, you will naturally find yourself on the road to change. Change leads to bigger and better goals. Bigger and better goals lead to accepting greater challenges... and so on, and so on.

1. Give - Give to a charity, an individual in need, or simply a friend or relative. You don't have to give something expensive or big. Just a show of appreciation will do, such as a card or a flower. Why it works... giving is a very uplifting experience since it frees your mind from thinking that there is not enough in the world. Giving teaches you that there is plenty to go around, and it will cause you to attract more good things in your life.

2. Learn - Learn a new language or a new dance. Learn about something you know nothing about, or learn to play a song on the piano or guitar. Why it works... learning something new develops your nervous system and makes you think in ways you've never thought before.

3. Change - Change your routine, take a different route to work, change your usual clothing style, your hair style, or change what you normally eat. Why it works... change begets change. If you want a big change, start by making a small change.

4. Participate - Participate in community activities, a sports team, or join a club. Why it works... participation requires social interaction and creativity, both of which will stimulate and inspire.

5. Create - Create a piece of art, write a short story, make a bookshelf, or start a web site. Why it works... creating stimulates all those dormant forces that allow change to enter your life.

Each time you perform one of these inspiring actions, take several minutes to feel good about it. You want your attitude to catch up to your actions. Also make sure that you enjoy the process, knowing that what you are doing is good for you and those around you as well.

Sometimes, just the exercise of reviewing these action verbs will be inspiration enough to get you thinking of what you could do to change your life. I hope you enjoy using these inspiring action verbs to change your mental state and improve your life. I'm sure that now you can think of some on your own. Remember, though, nothing happens without taking action!

5 Important Tips To Managing Your Stress

2008-12-30T00:15:00.000-08:00

At one point or another, we all have to deal with some type of stress. The important thing is to prevent it from taking over our daily life, and this can often be done by observing a few simple ways to keep emotions high and the blues at bay.

Pet your pet. For years, experts have agreed that pet owners may lead happier, healthier lives thanks to their four-legged friends. Gently stroking a cat or dog is believed to lower stress and increase happiness.

Take a hike. Studies have shown that walking at least 30 minutes each day may help to significantly ease stress. It doesn't matter whether you walk outdoors or indoors using a treadmill; the important thing is to get up, get moving and get rid of your stress.

Common scents. Many people relax to their favorite scented candles, but few know that certain scents have a calming effect that may actually reduce stress. Lavender, vanilla and other fragrances that you may find especially soothing may be just the ticket to a stress-free day.

Just breathe. There's an old saying that recommends taking a deep breath and counting to 10 to soothe anger. Well, the same is true with stress. Breathing in rhythm may improve positive emotions as it helps to promote activity in the area of the brain that's responsible for good thoughts. Positive thinking can lead to happiness, which is one sure way to stop stress.

Treat yourself. Whether you're feeling a little blue or just need a quick pick-me-up, take time to be good to yourself. Have a sip of your favorite beverage, indulge in a light snack to tempt your tastebuds or just take a break. When one errand runs into another and days seem to fly by so quickly that we barely even notice them, it may be time to get out of the rut and take a moment to enjoy life by treating yourself to something great.

The information contained in this article is designed for reference purposes only. It should not be used as, in place of or in conjunction with professional medical advice regarding a treatment or cure for stress. For additional information, a diagnosis and/or treatment advice, consult a licensed physician.

5 Attributes Of Successful People

2008-12-28T00:13:00.000-08:00

Disciplined, Uncompromising, Tough, Courageous and Humourous (D.U.T.C.H). The 5 main attributes that are to be found in most successful people. This has resulted from a careful study of the main personality traits to be found in the worlds most successful people from politicians, sportsmen and women and business people.

Disciplined

Successful people are well organised and self disciplined. Often they have been brought up in a structured disciplined environment. From being led they know how to lead. They are respectful of others and know how to command respect from others. They understand the importance of loyalty and demand loyalty from others.

Uncompromising

Successful people do not accept half measures. They do not tolerate incompetence. They speak out against injustice. They stand up to unnecessary bureaucracy and demand fairness and correctness in the world around them. They will 'fight their corner' in every situation.

Tough

Successful people are tough. They resist personal attack without emotional reactions. They possess a 'thick skin'. They are able to accept critisism without being offended.

Courageous

Successful people have the courage of their beliefs and convictions. They are able to face up to adversity. They succeed often against huge odds because they have the courage and the vision to plough through all the barriers and obstacles placed in their way.

Humourous

Successful people will possess a sense of humour. They will not become stressed and will often overcome difficult situations by their wit and well placed humour.

Be sure to remember D.U.T.C.H to remind you of the 5 attributes of successful people. This is by no means an exhaustive list of attributes possessed by successful people but by concentrating on these 5 will give you a good head start in your self help process and you will find that all other attributes necessary to make you successful will fall into place naturally.

"Now-ness". The Zen State Of Mind

2008-12-26T00:17:00.000-08:00

"Now-ness" is the state of ideal attention. That is, it is a state of being where all that exists is the present moment, without any thought of past or future. It is paying total attention to what you are doing in the moment that you are doing it. If you are eating for example, just eat. If you are reading, just read. If you are eating and you are thinking about your bills, or what is on television tonight, then you are not in a state of now-ness. If you are reading and you are not totally concentrating on the act of reading then again, you are not in the present. Regardless of what you happen to be doing, if you are thinking about something else, then you are not attentive and not in a state of now-ness

When you are not attentive, not here and now, your present peace of mind may be disturbed by some oncoming future event for no good reason. For example: Remember when you were in high school and you had a very important test coming? It was Friday and the test was to take place on Monday. That night you went to a party and enjoyed the evening for several hours when it happened! What happened? Suddenly, thoughts about the impending test darted across your mind and your night was ruined. You tried not to think about the test but to no avail, your present happiness was destroyed by the thoughts of a future event.

Understand that if I were to ask you how you feel, I am not asking how you felt yesterday or how you believe you might feel tomorrow. I am asking you how you feel at this very moment. If you were to answer me by saying, "at the present moment I feel fine," then you are fine because now is all that exists. Tomorrow will always be beyond your grasp and yesterday is forever gone. All you have is now. It is the only reality.

4 Keys To Creating Successful Habits

2008-12-26T00:12:00.001-08:00

What makes successful people successful?

We would all love to be able to walk down to the local supermarket and pick up a bottle of success. But let’s look past that fantasy and find out one of the most basic reasons why people become successful.

Right now, think of someone that you know personally who is successful. Can you see their face in your mind?

Good.

Now ask yourself this question, “Does this person have a successful routine or set of habits that makes them successful?” I would be shocked if they didn’t.

Sometimes the only difference between being successful and being average is having successful habits. Some examples of successful habits could be getting up earlier, doing thing when they need to be done, being prepared, or effective time management.

So how do you start to build these success habits in your life? Here are 4 tips on creating successful habits.

1. Identify – Find the areas in your life that need changing. Write down these new habits that need to be formed. Don’t become overwhelmed at trying to figure out how you are going to form all of these habits.

2. Pick 2 – Most people sabotage themselves by trying to change everything at once. Instead, pick one major and one minor habit that you want to form. For the next 30-90 days these will be the success habits that you will create.

3. Start small – Now that you have your two success habits, create a daily or weekly routine that is easy to follow. For instance, let’s say that you want to wake up an hour earlier so that you can get more successful things done. Instead of setting your alarm an hour earlier right at the beginning, only set it 2-5 minutes earlier every morning until you reach your goal. This way it would take you 30 days or 12 days respectively to create your success habit.

Remember, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

4. Repeat – Once you have created your new habits move on to the next 2 success habits that you want to create. Before you know it you will have created a whole new life full of success filled habits.

Just imagine where you will be in one year if you follow these four keys to creating successful habits. If it takes you only 60 days to create 2 habits, you will have created 12 success habits in just one year!

3 Magic Bedtime Questions

2008-12-26T00:10:00.000-08:00

For many people, life zooms past once they reach their working age. Everyday, it's the same flash routine of waking up, going to work, coming back from work, and sleeping. It's no wonder why you'll ask yourself, "How did I get old so fast? Where did all the time go?"

The problem is in the routine work. The human mind has this habit called deletion. Anything that keeps repeating, memory does not record, simply because it's not worth taking notice of.

So how can we slow down our experience of time and not let our lives slip by in a flash?

The answer lies in developing mindfulness -- a heightened state of awareness of one's thoughts, feelings, and actions. But if you can't do that yet, you can start off by practicing the 3 Magic Bedtime Questions.

As you lie in bed at night, ask and answer these three questions before you fall asleep:

1. What is one thing I am grateful for today?
2. What do I look forward to tomorrow?
3. What would I like to dream about tonight?

Why do I call these simple questions magical? Well, let me tell you the logic behind them. The first question requires you to think through your day to find something you're grateful for. As you do that, not only will you find something to be grateful for, you will also have recalled your entire day. In Neuro-Linguistic Programming, we call this recapping experience. Imagine putting your daily experience into a bottle, putting a cap on it, and labelling it, "The day I met Jenny". Having many of these bottles in your mind, sorts your memories into significant experiences, rather than having them as one large clump called, "My Working Years -- 20 to 50 years old".

The second question requires you to look forward in time and imagine what's going to happen tomorrow. When you have something to look forward to, it creates a natural anticipation and drive. You will feel motivated the moment you wake up. It will be the first thing that pops into your mind.

The third question reveals your innermost desires because we naturally choose to dream about what we want and wish for. This clarifies our direction and purpose.

Perform the 3 Magic Bedtime Questions nightly, and time will slow down. You will remember more about your life, and have greater clarity of mind to do what counts, before your time runs out.

I also recommend reading 'Mindfulness In Plain English', by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana. In clear language, he shows you how to develop Mindfulness, through the practice of Vipassana Meditation. An insightful and well-written book.

Wording Intentions: Asking For What You Really Want

2008-12-02T21:46:00.003-08:00

Have you ever asked the universe for something and gotten a result that wasn't what you intended? When wording our intentions and speaking our desires, it pays to be very specific! Consider these examples:

Shannon wants to be debt-free, so she states an intention: "I want to pay off all my debt." Suddenly she starts receiving demands for payment in full on loans she's been paying in installments, or she receives notices about old debts she's forgotten about.

Kim wants to meet the man of her dreams, so she states an intention: "I want to meet a man who is loyal, dedicated, loving, and handsome." She meets him all right, but then finds out he's already married to someone else. Or she meets a single man with those qualities, but he's "loyal and dedicated" to his job and has little time for a social life.

Wanda wants to lose weight, so she states an intention: "I want to lose weight fast!" Within a few days, she comes down with a stomach flu that causes her to lose 10 pounds in a week.

Steve wants a new car, so he states that intention. Next thing you know, his current car breaks down and the repair shop says it can't be fixed, or if it can, the cost would be equal to that of a new car. He has no choice but to buy a new car!

These types of situations have happened to me more times than I care to count, and I see them happening to others frequently too. However, if we learn to define our desires and state our intentions in very specific terms, our chances of receiving exactly what we want increases dramatically.

Be clear about what you don't want: First, it helps to know fully what you DON'T want. That sounds simple enough, but often we don't take the time to get clear about it, so we end up attracting stuff by default. One good way to know what you don't want is to take a look at the circumstances of your life right now. Which situations cause you stress, grief, pain, or frustration? Make a list of the things you don't want, so you can get clear about what you DO want.

What DO you want, anyway? Once we understand what we don't want, we need to give some in-depth thought to what we do want. Most often, our "do wants" are the exact opposite of our "don't wants." If you don't want financial lack, you do want financial abundance. If you don't want tension in your relationships, you do want harmonious interactions with others. Everything that is on your "don't want" list, write the opposite outcome in a list of "do wants."

Defining the end result: More importantly than making a list of "wants" is understanding the true desire behind these things. We may say we want "a lot of money," but why? Money by itself does nothing for us. If we look a little deeper, we find that we want a lot of money so we can enjoy financial freedom, travel, and luxury in our lives. Rather than focusing only on the acquisition of money, we should instead focus on inviting the DESIRED OUTCOMES into our lives. Yes, and an abundance of money too. We don't have to remove money as a desire, but seeing it as the end-all, be-all of our desires is incredibly limiting.

Be specific: Here's where you get to exercise your creativity! In order to be specific in wording our intentions, we first need to know what we don't want, and what we do want, and the desired outcome we are trying to create. The first three steps listed above took us through that, but how do we word our intentions so they will attract what we really want?

Consider the difference between these two intentions:

1) I want a lot of money so I don't have to work at a job I hate.

2) I want to do work that fills me with passion and joy and attracts massive amounts of money into my life, giving me the freedom to work when I want to, and not have to when I don't want to.

See the difference? It's all in the details. With every intention, we need to specify a "how" and a "why." Occasionally we can add in a "when," but remember that the universe has its own perfect timing that may or may not align with our ideas of when things should happen.

Acknowledge the blessings in disguise: Sometimes, no matter how specific we are with our words, our desires will manifest in a way we didn't particularly want or expect. There are probably varied reasons for this, but the reasons don't even matter. The important thing is to see these experiences as opportunities. Rather than sinking into frustration and despair when our intentions aren't being fulfilled the way we expected, we can honor the process for what it is and affirm that it will all work out in the best way possible.

Usually, that's exactly what will happen. Happy intending! :-)

When Does Your Belief Become The Truth?

2008-12-02T21:46:00.001-08:00

Ever wondered why some people turn anything they touch into gold; while other people fail even before they attempt something?

Most people would simply call it luck; perhaps saying, “you’re just lucky.” And if they weren’t pleased with the outcome, it’s a “bummer.” You might hear, “well, try another time and it may work out.”

What do these statements tell us? They carry hints into the beliefs behind our thoughts. Obviously, it is presumed that we have no control of the outcome; how else could you explain the word “luck?”

Have you ever heard rich people saying these things? Do you believe managers and CEO’s lead their companies by rolling the dice? They would probably be fired immediately if they were discovered to be relying upon luck.

In contrast, what are successful and wealthy people doing? If you look into it, you will find there is only one difference - their beliefs!

Believing that the outcome of what you are doing is dependent on luck will lead to exactly that result. Some things will manifest the way you wanted, and some won’t. In the end, you would have the proof that the results of what you do in your life are dependent upon dumb luck. As long as you believe this, it will stay that way.

Can a Simple Belief Create Such a Different Reality in Our Lives?

Yes, it can; and in a very profound way that could be described in modern science as the quantum effect. To understand this, let’s look into how a belief works.

What is a Belief?
What does the dictionary tell us about a belief?

1. something believed; an opinion or conviction: a belief that the earth is flat.
2. confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof: a statement unworthy of belief.
3. confidence; faith; trust: a child’s belief in his parents.
4. a religious tenet or tenets; religious creed or faith.

There are a few interesting words in these explanations that we will take a closer look at, in order to understand how beliefs work.

* opinion
* truth
* confidence

The description in #2 gives us a good hint. “confidence in the truth of existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof.” The word “assumption” comes close. Basically, we assume that something is true, before we have proof.

When Does Something Become the Truth and How Do We Get the Proof?
When you watch TV and you see the news, do you believe it? Here is the interesting part - each person believes it differently. Some believe it all, some believe a part of it, and some believe it only when it comes from the mouth of a “trustworthy” person.

How About The Proof?
How do you prove it is 12 o’ clock? You simply look at your watch. If you doubt it, you may look up at your computer, and if you doubt even that, you may call the phone service to get the time. But does this prove to you that it’s 12 o’ clock? Not at all, you are still believing it!

So it is with our beliefs; they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Take this even further: what happens to your brain when you make up a belief? You assume it is true, without having the proof.

Now we get to the quantum part of it. The moment you generate a belief, your consciousness creates new probabilities in your life. New probabilities lead to new realities. At this point, even if you are not conscious of it, you have opened a new door into a reality that contains the probabilities to manifesting exactly what you believe.

It is like sending out a new radio frequency; you just have to wait until it finds its resonator. The moment the resonator is found it will transform from a possibility into reality, which means your belief just manifested.

It’s worthwhile to take a look into the astounding findings made in the last 10 years of quantum physics. It is no longer a field of only “crazy” scientists. In fact, many agree that quantum physics is the ultimate key to understanding how ‘our’ consciousness works.

How Does This Relate to Dreams?
A dream is nothing more than a belief. Not bigger or greater than any other belief, just different. And to make a dream come true we ‘only’ have to believe in it. If we want a different outcome in our lives, we need to change our beliefs; we need to replace the old ones with new ones.

We need to remember that beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies. Meaning that it was us who created that belief in the first place. You cannot change a belief if you do not claim ownership of it. In your life, you may have taken chances on someone else’s beliefs. However, you still decided at some point to make it yours. When you reach the point where you see that you have created a belief, it is very easy to change it. Just do it!

It’s a shame that we aren’t provided with a human operating manual. We are cast into the world with no clue whatsoever. Hopefully, this is changing, and soon we will be able to give our children a handbook on how to successfully master life. And most importantly, to guide and support them in manifesting their dearest dreams.

What’s So Simple That It’s Nearly Impossible?

2008-12-02T21:45:00.005-08:00

Self improvement in and of itself is a fairly easy to understand concept. You have one or more areas of your life that you are not happy with, so you decide to take steps to improve those areas.

For some people it is as simple as something like just taking more time for themselves each day, but for most people it is something more extreme such as long-term weight loss, financial freedom, relationship success, etc.

However, as simple as it is to say that you want to improve some area of your life, when it comes to actually implementing the necessary changes, things tend to get more complicated, especially with regard to something like financial or relationship success.

A goal such as losing weight is easy – at least on paper. Eat right and exercise. How do you “fix” financial burdens, though? How do you bring your “dream mate” into your life?

The answer to the riddle about the self improvement task that is so simple that it’s nearly impossible is – whatever task it is that you want the most!

If you have a burning desire for something in your life, whether it be money, health, fulfilling relationships, or anything else, that burning desire is there because you don’t already have that thing.

Did you ever stop to ask yourself why it is that the things that you want most in the world are the things that you have the most trouble actually getting your hands on?

Whether it be via the actions that you take – or the actions that you don’t take – there is a serious disconnect between your desires and what you actually have in your life.

The good news, which is also the simple part of this equation, is that YOU are the disconnect. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to manifesting the things that you want into your life.

It may not seem that way from your point of view, because you are probably working very hard towards getting the things that you want. You may have a job that you are excelling at in order to “move up,” you might put everything that you have into your relationships, and you may save every dime that you can in order to get ahead financially.

However, when it comes down to it, although taking action is a critical component to success, it is your mental state of mind, not just your actions, that sets the stage for your success.

There are any number of belief systems that can affect whether or not you attain your goals. Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction, positive thinking, a high work ethic, strong morals, or even if you just have a high level of self-confidence, your success always – and only – depends on you.

Thus, you yourself become the very solution to attaining the “impossible” success that has been escaping you up to this point in your life.

Your own attitude and belief system is what powers your success – or lack thereof. The trick to the whole process, however, is that most people think they are on the right track mentally, when in all actuality they are headed in the wrong direction because of their focus.

People who have consistently wanted – yet failed to attain – their health and weight loss goals continue to get the same results because they are focusing on something negative – bad health or excess weight.

What you focus on grows, so if you think about the fact that you are overweight or have poor health, then you will continue to be overweight and have poor health. To make matters worse, since a lot of that process is done “behind the scenes” in your subconscious mind, you probably don’t even realize that you continue to reinforce the very self-limiting beliefs that are keeping you from success.

That same concept applies to financial gains, relationship success, career growth, and any other area of your life that you feel needs improvement. By continuing to focus on what you don’t want, all you are doing is continuing to attract the things that you don’t want into your life.

The solution to this issue is very simple, however. All you need to do is focus on the opposite of what you don’t want. Whenever you think about the things that you want, just think about having them, instead of NOT having them.

Don’t think about losing weight, but rather think about how great you already look since you are at your goal weight. Always think in the NOW, as if it has already happened.

Don’t think about how broke you are, but rather think about all of the things that you are spending money on. Go window shopping in your mind, and out in the real world, but again, in the NOW.

Don’t think about how lonely or upset you are because of your relationship status. Think about how happy and content you are with your family and your dream mate. And it is all happening NOW.

It’s crucial to remember to focus on the things that you want as if you already have them. If you think about your success as being in the future, then it will always stay in the future!

Simplify the impossible. Start thinking and acting like you have already succeeded, and before long, it won’t be an act anymore.

What Hypnosis Can And Cannot Do

2008-12-02T21:45:00.003-08:00

When it comes to defining what hypnosis can and cannot do, I can only share with you what I know as fact, first hand, based on my own experience. In my opinion, if hypnosis has any limitations, they will be a direct result of unrealistic expectations.

I have seen hypnosis work in conjunction with traditional medicine. I have seen significantly reduced impact of side effects to certain treatments like chemotherapy. I have seen a reduction in pain, and increased tolerance to chemo and other treatments. I have witnessed a greatly improved ability to cope with the emotional strain of terminal illness with the help of hypnosis. But I have never seen hypnosis cure cancer. And I wouldn’t state that it can. Maybe others have made such claims, and if in fact they have achieved such heights of success with hypnosis, they can and should attest to it. But ethically, I cannot speak to speculation or risk imposing any false hopes upon my clients.

Other questionable benefits of hypnosis include actual physical changes in the body like enlarged breasts, or increased height. Perhaps if I were to follow the pursuit of one such benefit for an extended period of time, by specializing in breast enlargement for instance, I might be able to report back to you that it does in fact work, and that I did achieve the desired result. But again, I can only attest to what I know with certainty.

In my personal and professional opinion, an ethical hypnotherapist will promise only what he knows he can deliver. There are enormous benefits from listening to self hypnosis CDs and downloads. Yet there is no need to resort to falsifying facts. I’ve seen therapists selling hypnosis products for a wide range of issues. An unfortunate risk in making unrealistic promises is that people will lose faith in hypnosis altogether and deny themselves the benefits of this incredible tool because of the poor ethics of one or a few persons.

I certainly want people to try self hypnosis, and I wholehearted believe that everyone can benefit from it to some degree, but I also care to be able to live with myself, and respect the face in the mirror, and I would not go to unlimited lengths to get people to try it or purchase my product.

Those who have tried self hypnosis will need no further convincing, and those who haven’t should not have to fear false promises.

What A Personal Self-esteem Coach Can Do For You

2008-12-02T21:45:00.001-08:00

A personal self-esteem coach can provide an objective perspective sorely needed to see things in a new light, challenge long-held beliefs that have held you back, change the patterns that have kept you stuck and make new choices so that you create and attract success into your life.

Creating a clear direction for your life can be difficult. Old thinking and behavior patterns are persistent. Your coach can help you recognize and replace these old patterns with new ideas and strategies which serve you and clear the way for a healthy, balanced life. Your coach can also tune in to the language you use to describe yourself, your life circumstances, both past and present, and your future. The language you use is a strong indicator of the level of self-esteem you are experiencing right now.

As your self-esteem improves, you'll notice you are more focused, more organized and more able to take action. You'll be able to create strategies, plans and structures to achieve your goals more easily. Procrastination will be a thing of the past. What once pushed you past overwhelm will no longer intimidate you.

Maybe you have self-esteem issues rearing their ugly heads in your relationships. Do you often feel jealousy, especially in the context of romantic relationships? Are you struggling with finding or staying in a romantic relationship? Do you feel too stressed and vulnerable to make good decisions? Maybe you are still recovering from the break up of your last romantic relationship and you want to firm your boundaries and learn to trust again. Wherever you find yourself feeling badly about yourself, a self-esteem issue exists.

If you are tired of living on automatic pilot and want to take charge of your life to create the happiness you've spent all this time looking for, then a personal self-esteem coach might be the right choice at this place in your life.

Vedic Astrology Horoscope - Sun In Cancer - Venus / Moon - More On Saturn

2008-12-02T21:43:00.005-08:00

The Sun has entered Cancer in the Sidereal zodiac, bringing a strong tendency to nurture and emotionally protect our loved ones. When the Sun goes through Cancer the quality of divine motherhood is awakened in each of us -- at least that is the potential. Suddenly there's a renewed sensitivity to all of us as children. There is a great possibility for all to lay down their weapons and sympathize with their enemies for the next couple of weeks.

Cancer is the sign of sensitivity, compassion and motherhood. It is ruled by the moon, the planet of selfless love, nurturing and peace. This is different than the type of love we have in relationships which are transactional in nature. Relationship love is between two equals, two grown-ups. In relationship love, each person has to hold up their part of the bargain, whatever that "bargain" is. Every relationship has different boundaries that are negotiated and, however strange those boundaries may look to outsiders, as long as the two partnered agree with the terms, and honor them - there's usually smooth sailing.

This is what makes the relationship house (seventh house) a secondary business / career house. We use the same negotiating skills at our job that we use in our romantic relationship - after all, people are people. The larger issue in relationships is our ability to compromise and satisfy our desires as well as accommodate another person's. Those who are able to yield their desires with dignity do well in relationships. But this takes an authentic desire to please others combined with an equally authentic intuition which knows where to draw the line and can draw that line without anger or excessive ego.

However, the capacity to play fair and negotiate and uphold common boundaries, etc. will be very damaging in a parent / child relationship. Once a parent starts demanding the child treat them as an equal, at least when they're young, there can be great harm done. Of course, once the child grows up into teenage years and beyond the relationship starts to develop and mature. But still, the parent must always put the needed the child ahead of their own. Fortunately, nature makes this easy -- once the child begins to grow up and develop their own personality, many immature parents stop serving the child / selflessly loving the child - and start to a great deal of harm.

Negotiating proper relationship boundaries are related to Venus and powerfully expressed through the Cardinal sign she rules, Libra - the sign of relationships. And, as was said, the Moon rules selfless parental love that only knows how to give. The mother loves the child no matter what the child does. But this shows the inherent struggle between Venus and the moon – the inherent struggle between selfless love and conditional love.

It's very easy to mix these two things up in our mind. When relationships become dominated by a selfless, parental type of love -- is only a matter of time before it starts to feel like abuse for one and co-managing for the other. There has to be accountability first, only then can romantic love become selfless, devoted love. Similarly if the parent / child love is too transactional, with a parent constantly insisting upon the immature mind of the child to be accountable for their emotional mistakes, as we would expect from our partner, much trouble arises also. Without the paradigm of selfless love in the parent/child relationship, the parent will not be able to insist upon accountability without the child feeling attacked.

This is an important issue at this time with Venus about to go retrograde into the sign of Cancer. In Vedic astrology both the moon and the Sun are enemies of Venus. This enmity is expressed in different ways. The influence of the moon on Venus (including occupying the sign of Cancer) is to confuse the transactional nature and expectation of adult relationship boundaries with the utterly selfless, caretaking, maternal nature of the moon. The influence of the Sun on Venus (including occupying the sign of Leo) is to insist upon a passionate, fiery and romantically accountable nature.

These themes will play out in the upcoming Venus retrograde cycle discussed last week in this newsletter.

The upcoming Venus retrograde cycle will mirror the recent Saturn retrograde cycle and also foreshadow next year's Mars/Ketu conjunction at 28ฐ Cancer. There is another very important factor that must be kept in mind relative to this Saturn / Venus relationship.

Understanding The Physical Symptoms Of Anxiety And Stress

2008-12-02T21:43:00.003-08:00

The physical symptoms of anxiety and stress can be quite detrimental to one’s health. Unfortunately, many people may be so stressed that they do not realize the extent of it or the impact the stress and anxiety is having on their health. In some cases, the more stress or anxiety an individual experiences the less able they are to recognize it. Quite frequently in these situations the individual may have even become so accustomed to their level of stress, and the physical symptoms it produces, that they feel it is normal. Due to the fact that some people may not be aware of their emotional response to stress and anxiety they may need to rely on physical manifestations to identify it. This makes taking the time to learn about the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety an important step. Tuning into the symptoms of stress and anxiety can help you to identify potential triggers in your life and in turn help you to better manage them and alleviate the stress and anxiety in your life.

It is important to be aware that the physical symptoms of anxiety and stress can vary from one person to the next. Some symptoms may be more serious than others and can even be life threatening. It should be noted that one symptom on its own may not necessarily indicate the presence of stress or anxiety; however, where there are multiple symptoms this is a strong indication there is stress or anxiety present. Some symptoms you experience may be short-term while others may be long-term symptoms. Short-term symptoms include the following:

• Cold hands and feet
• Dry mouth
• Rapid breathing
• Increased heart beat
• Increased sweating
• Nausea
• Diarrhea

Generally these short term side effects appear when the body is responding to a perceived threat. This is the body’s way of helping you prepare to either stay and fight the threatening situation or flee from it; a response commonly known as fight or flight. While this rush of adrenaline and emotions can be helpful in a truly threatening situation, it can have negative impacts during times when there is no immediate danger.

Over time these physical symptoms can damage your self-confidence, disrupt the quality of your life and reduce the pleasure you get from your work. In addition, when the body is exposed to these physical symptoms over a long period of time your health can actually start to decline. Long term side effects of stress and anxiety include:

• Sexual disorders
• Changes in appetite
• Insomnia
• Frequent illness
• Back pain
• Asthma
• Headaches
• Digestive problems
• Lethargy
• Restlessness
• Depression
• Irritability

Remember, that one symptom by itself may not necessarily indicate the presence of either short term or long term stress and anxiety. There are other reasons that can result in a single symptom, such as certain medications. The presence of multiple symptoms; however, can indicate a problem. If you notice multiple physical symptoms of anxiety and stress, take heart in knowing that stress and anxiety management techniques can help you to reduce those symptoms and get back to your old self.

Travel Alarms – Be Punctual In Any Language

2008-12-02T21:43:00.001-08:00

You forgot to remind the hotel receptionist to wake you up. After a night of mulling over what you are going to say in the meeting, you woke up to find out that you have overslept. Once again, you found yourself rushing to another meeting. You arrived twenty minutes late. You felt very uneasy as you entered the conference room. Nine pairs of eyes suddenly focused on you. And you could’ve sworn you heard one of them say spไt wieder, in a soft disapproving voice. Late again! You winced, knowing the impact of this blunder to your negotiations and silently hoped the situation ahead wouldn’t be as grave as you thought it would be.

You’re late!

Sie sind spไt! Siete in ritardo! Vous ๊tes en retard! Voc๊ estแ atrasado! Osoi desu! These are the words that you don’t want to hear. Being late does leave a bad impression on people. It makes you look unreliable, irresponsible and inconsiderate. No one would like to make a deal with someone who would give him more stress and problems. Your clients’ impression of you can make or break your business opportunities.

You should also take into consideration that the embarrassment of being late can ruin your composure. No matter how much you have prepared the night before, you will end up stumbling and stuttering all over the place. Have you ever had this experience before? If so, has it happened a lot of times? If that’s the case, what are you waiting for?

It’s time for a change!

Maybe you should consider using travel alarms. Without the hassle of having to make phone calls or enduring the receptionist’s overly pleasant voice, travel alarms can make an early bird out of you. All you need are a couple of batteries as well as regular check ups. Just like cars, travel alarms need to be maintained in order to work efficiently. Of course, because all you need to do is check the power supply, the maintenance isn’t as complicated.

Travel alarms come in all shapes and some of them can fit in the palm of your hand. Even better, they come in trendy designs. Some travel alarms even come with a picture frame. So, you don’t have to leave home without a picture of your beloved family or your cherished pet. Not only can it keep you from being late, it also keeps your loved ones close no matter where you go. These travel alarms also come in a sturdy case so that you don’t have to worry about the bumps and spills of a rough travel. These travel alarms can survive the worst travel conditions and the best feature of these travel alarms is their ability to wake up the heaviest of sleepers and the loudest of snorers. You can easily adjust the volume of the alarm. The loudest setting can wake you up no matter how deep your slumber is.

Never be late again…

You shouldn’t entrust your career to other people. There is always a chance that the receptionist may forget to give you a wake up call. And, because of her failure, you will end up paying for it. So, put your trust on something that you can trust. A travel alarm clock will never let you down.

Tips To Prevent Panic Attacks

2008-12-02T21:42:00.000-08:00

If you suffer from panic attacks it is important to understand there are tips to prevent panic attacks which can be used to help you gain back control of your life. Although panic attacks can certainly be frightening, when used with regular practice these tips and guidelines can prove to be quite effective in the quest to put an end to them.

One of the best ways to prevent panic attacks from occurring is to look at areas in your life which may be creating stress that could lead to attacks. The next step is to take action to address that stress. In many cases this may involve looking at ways in which you can reduce stress by nurturing yourself. Excellent ideas include:

• Take part in regular massage to relieve tension
• Eliminate or reduce intake of alcohol and tobacco
• Avoid use of recreational drugs
• Eat nutritious meals, including breakfast
• Make sure you are getting enough sleep.
• Exercise on a regular basis to relieve tension and provide an outlet for stress
• Read a good book

The importance of avoiding alcohol and drugs as a way to cope with anxiety must also be stressed. These substances often only make problems worse and can create even further problems. Along those same lines, make an effort to cut back on beverages with caffeine such as coffee, tea and soda. Remember that caffeine actually increases anxiety, can result in insomnia and has even been known to instigate panic attacks.

Because one of the most common symptoms of panic attacks is having trouble catching your breath, feeling lightheaded and even as though you might pass out one of the tips to prevent panic attacks that you can use is breathing techniques. These techniques can help you to relax and gain control of a situation before it turns into an attack. It should be noted that these techniques should be practiced on a regular, if not daily, basis in order to be effective.

Journaling can also be a great way to keep yourself organized, reduce stress and put things into perspective. If you find that the daily chaos of life tends to lead to attacks this can be a good way to reduce and stop attacks before they begin. What you choose to keep in your journal, of course, is entirely up to you; however, many people find it helpful to enter information about stressful situations in their lives including how they responded so they can evaluate the responses later.

Other tips to prevent panic attacks you can use include considering ways in which you can participate in activities you enjoy more. This can help to reduce the stress of everyday life, thus reducing the chances of panic attacks. Good ideas for ways in which you can do this include:

• Take a bubble bath
• Make a point to socialize with positive people
• Go for a walk
• Listen to music
• Perform volunteer work
• Start a hobby
• Meditate or pray

The first step toward beginning a new future and taking back control of your life begins with taking the time to learn about tips to prevent panic attacks.

Time Management Tips For A Successful Life

2008-12-02T21:40:00.004-08:00

The application of time management skills has tended, in the past, to be thought of as something that is for business life only. In reality, though, time management is something from which we can all benefit in our personal lives as well, and in the art of marrying our working lives with our home and social lives.

Those benefits show in a number of ways, including health, well being and satisfaction with our lives overall. Manage your time well, and you can feel in control of your life, rather than letting events control you. There is no single "method" of time management, either in business or personal life. However, there are various time management tips and techniques, practices and theories, which it is worth knowing about.

Acquiring time management skills is something we can set about doing in a methodical way. Really, we all practice time management whether we know it or not. It is more a matter of whether we do it well or badly. The following tips are for improving time management skills, building on those that you will naturally have. Even primitive man used time management, it was just a lot simpler in those days. Time had to be allocated for hunting, and that time had to be used to the fullest effect possible to survive.

Here are just a few time management tips:

1. Before learning any techniques to help you manage your time, have a clear idea of what you are setting out to achieve. Give yourself the opportunity to get your life in some sort of order so that you can both enjoy it to the full and succeed to the full. If you just apply time management to areas of your life that do not really matter to you, then you will not be progressing at a personal level.

2. Get your priorities clear in your mind, so that they are a natural part of you. This will need to become a habit to be very effective, and you will need to apply prioritizing over a number of time spans. Your long term success will probably depend on your being able to prioritize what you need to do to achieve that success. However, to use your time well on a particular day, you need to start the day with a clear idea of your priorities. that also applies to the week, the month and the year. Your priorities for the shorter period must always feed positively into the priorities in the next longer period, and so on, so that each time period is mapped out with priorities that lead to your ultimate success.

3. When assessing priorities, be ruthless with parts of your life that are not contributing to your longer term goals. Removing the areas of your life where you are wasting time, will free up more time for you to apply to reaching your goals.

4. Always be sure to build your health and enjoyment into any plans. Time for relaxation and exercise are critical to your long term achievements; always make time for proper meals, and keep to a healthy but enjoyable diet. Time management is not an exercise in being macho with your business life; it is an opportunity to build a balanced life for yourself and your family.

5. Once you have set your priorities for any period, write them down and refer to them from time to time, updating them if necessary. Should you appear to be failing, examine why, and reset and reinforce your goals and priorities. It is too easy to slip back into bad habits that inhibit your progress.

6. Be sure to keep a diary and use it to plan out each day, week, month. There are all sorts of electronic gizmos, online planners, software etc to act as aids to your time management. Personally, I think a good old fashioned diary is just as good, if not better. About 18 months ago I reverted to using a traditional diary to plan my working time. That forces me to get away from the computer, even for a few minutes, and think what my priorities are, and what I need to be reminded about.

If you can become better at time management, you will find your life more satisfying and less stressful, as well as being able to achieve greater things. For millions of people, life just sweeps them along in a torrent of activity, or inactivity, over which they have little or no control. That can be very stressful, unhealthy, inefficient, and demoralising over the long term. There is nothing quite like controlling your own destiny to reduce stress and aid success.

The Woman In The Mirror - My Personal Story

2008-12-02T21:40:00.003-08:00

How many times have you looked in the mirror and seen something you don’t like? It happens to the best of us, we get caught up in what we ‘should’ look like. Thighs are too big, hair is too straight, too many freckles, breasts are too small… the list could go on, and for many of us it does. The question is, are you loving who you are and keen to further improve yourself, or are you getting caught in the old “I’ll be happy when…”? “I’ll be happy when I weigh only X kg”, “I’ll be happy when I get a boob job”, I’ll be happy when I have this or that done”.

The truth is that happiness isn’t a place, person, operation, destination or weight goal. Happiness is a feeling, and it’s entirely within our control as to if, and when, we feel it or not. The challenge many of us face is that we’re always searching for something externally to make us feel good rather than finding it within.

I know this, because I spent most of my life not liking what I saw in the mirror. I was Bulimic for 8 years and ALWAYS thought I was too fat. It wasn’t until I was looking back in hindsight, that I realised my problems never had anything to do with my weight. I’m 5’2” and at my very heaviest I was only 55kg (121lb), but I thought I was a huge, hideous monster. I was never happy unless I was down to 48kg (106lb), which – funnily enough – only seemed to happen when I was even more depressed, or on the ‘break up diet’ when I’d split with a partner. Most of the time I was never more than about 50kg (110lb) yet I absolutely believed that I would only be happy when these last 2kg (4.4lb) had dropped.

2kg? How could 2 measly kilograms really dictate whether or not I was happy? From the outside in, it was easy to see that I had a problem unrelated to my weight, but as the person experiencing this, it was all I could think about. In fact ‘think’ is too mild a word. I was obsessed. I would starve myself for days, only to binge on huge amounts of food which I would then purge, several times a day. This was a destructive, cyclic pattern and it was ruining my life, my relationships and my health. Even now, years later, my digestive system doesn’t function properly and I have irrepairable damage to my teeth from all the purging.

I tried everything I could think of to make the changes I knew I needed. I went to counselors, support groups, psychiatrists, nutritionists, everything… you name it, I tried it. What I hadn’t tried at that point, is to truly understand that I needed to fall in love with me, just the way I was. When I was 26, I started working one on one with Nina, a very intuitive life coach who helped me search inside myself to find the answers I was looking for.

There were many months of tears, frustration and soul searching… but eventually there was peace. I was able to understand why I was using food as an emotional crutch and what the real cause of my behaviour was. You see, the eating disorder was simply a vehicle for dealing with the real issues, and once I knew what they were, I was able to address them directly.

Today I am happy, healthy and loving who I am. I’m still human, I still have bad days, and I still have an ‘ideal weight’ that I’d like to get to… but it doesn’t dictate my life and I love myself regardless… squishy bits and all.

The Secret To Letting Go After Divorce

2008-12-02T21:40:00.001-08:00

One of the most difficult things to do after divorce is to let go and move on emotionally. This means letting go of all of the pain, anger and hurt your spouse has caused you. It sounds easier than it is. So just how to you let go of those negative feelings towards your ex?

You must remember: accept and forgive. It doesn’t mean you want to go back and live it over. It doesn’t mean you would keep the marriage together. It means you can move on with your own life, and live with the fact that your ex is doing the same thing.

Your ex-spouse’s life is meant to take a different path. If you have children then you will always be part of each other’s lives. But you will be able to detach and view your ex as the parent of your children instead of as your spouse. A new relationship will emerge. The roles are different. You choose how you are going to play this out. You can deal with your spouse either with kindness and understanding, having truly put the pain of divorce behind you, or you can harbor ill feelings and hang on to old hurts and feelings of betrayal. The choice is yours. Choose wisely. One road leads to peace and serenity and the other to anger, frustration, and pain.

This is your time of refection and soul-searching. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You will reach it. Right now you may not be able see past the hurt, anger, and pain. But trust me, life will become joyful and complete once again. You get to decide the life you want to have. Don’t turn bitter. It may be the easy path now, but later on it will be the hard road, and there won’t be any exits. How you see your divorce is the most essential choice you will make.

I now see my divorce for the many gifts it has brought to my life. Amidst the pain and sorrow, I learned some tremendous life lessons. Now I can bring these into my new life and create a more compelling future. Listen to your heart. Trust in the knowledge that you will survive this devastating loss. You will survive, and you will thrive again.

The Prosperous Life

2008-12-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

“A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:25

Most of us want to be successful, well off, and live the good life. Did you ever consider that the way to accomplish this might not be grabbing all you can, but by giving your way there? Did you consider that the way up the ladder of life might be going outward instead of upward? This seems foreign to us and absolutely contrary to everything we are taught in society. After all, we are taught that we if we do not look out for ourselves, who will?

Jesus mentioned much about giving during his earthly ministry... “Give and it shall be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If someone takes your cloak, give them your tunic too.”( Luke 6:29,31,38)

Jesus talked about a generous lifestyle that many of us shy away from. If we are honest in the deepest part of our beings, we have to admit that when it comes to giving we are often afraid.

Prime Minister Golda Meir once said, “You can’t shake hands with a clinched fist.” When we have a clenched fist approach to life, by holding on tightly to our money, time and possessions, we become the losers. The very thing we desire escapes us. When we have generous spirits, I believe generosity has a way of finding us as well... “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

So, sometimes you just have to start where you are and with what you have in order to cultivate a generous spirit. Giving doesn’t always have to be monetary. How could you make a difference at your work place or in your neighborhood? Can you make a dinner for someone? What about writing a note to your postman or garbage collector? Can you volunteer at a homeless shelter or the Salvation Army or a nursing home? What about getting your kids involved? Can you give up a couple of lattes a month and save money to fund a project your family can get involved in.

Let your kids pick it out and save some of their allowance towards it. Check out www.kiva.org for some great projects to get behind!

Some of the most joyful and content people in our world today are givers. We have seen what society offers - bankruptcy, divorce, suicide, etc. Open up your hands and your hearts to refresh someone else and watch your life take on a new dimension of blessing!

Stress Management Among Students In Universities

2008-12-02T21:37:00.001-08:00

At what age do students have the greatest stress? Young parents might say preschoolers have the greatest stress. They are leaving their parents for the first time, and have many reasons to be afraid. Older parents say middle school students have the most stress, having just entered adolescence. Still others will cite secondary school as the time of greatest stress. Most agree, however, that the stresses of university life are very great.

Stress management among students in universities is a hit-or-miss matter. Some universities schedule optional stress management classes, but students often lack the time to attend. If they have the time, they lack interest.

Stress Management Keys

Specific keys will open the door to better stress management among students in universities. Some of those keys are being used, but others are lost or neglected. Without them, stress management is limited for the students. We will not attempt to list here every key, or to put them in any given order. Rather, we would like to suggest stress management keys that may be lost in the rubble of today's society.

1. Clear definitions: Effective stress management among students requires clear definitions of words such as "stressor," "stress," "eustress," and "distress."

Students who do not understand clearly what stress is cannot be expected to succeed at stress management. They may be trying to manage stressors, thinking they are managing stress. The outcome may very well be increased stress rather than stress management.

Stress management among students in universities can begin only after they understand that the extra demands made upon them are stressors, not stress. They then must understand that their response to those demands constitutes stress. Finally, if they are to get a grasp on practical stress management, they will need to know that there are two kinds of stress. One, eustress, is beneficial. The other, distress, is detrimental.

Students who understand these concepts, and embrace them, have unlocked the first door leading to stress management.

2. Action Plan: With a firm understanding of the definitions, students are ready to formulate a stress management action plan. They are ready for the proverbial locking of the barn door to prevent the horse's escape.

Armed with the knowledge that stress is the response to stressors, students can learn to control that response. They can determine to take specific, proactive steps to prepare for stressors. They can, in a sense, ambush the stressors as a step of stress management.

3. Stressor Identification: An important part of the stress management ambush is to learn to identify the enemy. A focused tertiary student will see stressors and know them for what they are. Every university student has stressors. All of us have unusual demands made on us. The key to stress management is to identify those demands as stressors.

In universities and colleges, stressors take the form of unaccustomed activities. Sharing a room with a stranger makes demands on a student. A new form of study is demanding. Financial resources and potentially new dating standards can be stressors.

Whether students are in Italy or Iowa, they are free of the constraints of home, and that freedom is a stressor. Freedom makes unusual demands on one who has not had it in fullness.

All of these and about 2000 more are stressors that a student must identify in order to engage in stress management.

4. Turning Distress into Eustress: Another key that helps unlock the doors to stress management is that of turning distress into eustress. Students often act as victims of their stressors. They believe they can do nothing but suffer. Stress management requires that they learn to turn a potentially negative response to stressors into a positive response.

Eustress, the beneficial stress, is what carries an excited, happy couple through the whirlwind of preparation for a large wedding. From the moment of the proposal, the couple may be surrounded by stressors. Extra demands, unusual demands are being made on them. Yet they are not depressed. The demands do not weigh heavily on them. They embrace them, and respond with smiles. They accept the challenge of getting everything done well and on time because they choose to accept it that way.

The same type of response can be enlisted on other occasions that call for stress management. Much of what students view as negative stress can be turned around, energizing them to excel.

Is this a false, rosy-tinted view of stress management? Not at all. Does this negate principles such as deep breathing, exercise, healthy diet, and regular sleep? No. As we said, this is not an attempt to provide every key to stress management. It is an effort to look at keys that are being neglected.

Stress management among students in universities can be stripped of many programs, drugs, and therapies if these keys are used well.

Palmistry - The Thumb

2008-12-02T21:36:00.000-08:00

Thumb in a way, represents the whole hand. Hence more importance is attached to the thumb than it is given to the lines in the palm. The thumb reveals the whole identity of the individual to the palm reader. The thumb is considered as the root of the whole hand. The thumb is considered as the center of the will-power. It is formed by 2 pieces of bones. The first phalange of the thumb indicates logic and the phalange containing the nail indicates will-power.

According to medical sciences, no harm is done for the individual if the four fingers are cut off. But if the thumb is torn and there is profuse bleeding then the person might go insane and even results in his death.

Parts of the thumb

First phalange of the thumb

If the first phalange of the thumb is very long, then such a person is self-willed while he has less desire to work if the thumb is shorter. Such persons are weak-willed. If the fore part of the thumb is square, the person is clever in legal matters and is respected for his acts of justice. He is very obstinate if the fore part of the thumb is wide. If the forepart of the thumb is extraordinarily long then such a person is a murderer or a dacoit or remain engrossed in anti-social activities.

The Second Phalange of the Thumb

Persons whose second phalange is long, are clever, careful and a take a lead in social activities. They are held in high esteem by the society. If the phalange is short, the person works without any forethought. He works in acts of dangerous magnitude. If this phalange is clumsy, then he is devoid of the power of reasoning. If this phalange is depressed then the person's mind is sharp and sensitive.

Third part of thumb or Place of Venus

The third part of the thumb is not a phalange, instead it the place of Venus. A person who has this part more prominent, elegant with a pink tinge is well-advanced in love matters. They gain full popularity among friends. They succeed in life and smile under difficulties as well. If the mount of Venus is very protruded, then the person would be sexually immoral. If this part is less prominent or submerged with more than necessary lines then the person would be having a frustrated temperament.

Different types of thumbs

Long Thumb - Such persons are self-willed, self -dependent and control others. In their lives intelligence has more importance and they are called intellectuals, and they are especially interested in mathematics and engineering.

Short Thumb- Such persons do not work with their own mind instead do so at the influence of others. Emotions have prominent place in their lives than intelligence. They take special interest in poetry, painting or music.

Hard Thumb- Such persons ae obstinate and alert. They possess the capacity to keep anything to themselves. They are wanting in emotions in their lives and they mostly work on the strength of intelligence.

Flexible and Supple Thumb- A person with such a thumb is much interested in amassing wealth and is capable of adjusting according to circumstances.

Obtuse-angled thumb- If the thumb makes an obtuse angle with the index finger then it comes under this category. Such thumbs are well-formed, long and thin. They are called gentle thumbs. Persons having such thumbs are gentle and sweet-tempered. They are Artists and Musicians.

Right-angled thumb- These are those thumbs which form a right angle with the index finger. These thumbs are elegant, strong and appear like pillars. Such a person believes in hard work. They are short-tempered but quickly cool off. They stick to their words. The feeling of revenge is very strong in them. Such persons can be neither good friends not good enemies.

Acute- Angled Thumb- Thumbs which make an acute angle at the joint with the index finger come under this category. The length of such thumbs are comparatively smaller and look clumsy. Such thumbs are classed as of evil quality.

Persons with this kind of thumb are frustrated throughout their lives. They are very lazy. They do not complete any work. They remain in bad habits with lavish spending. They are less interested in religion and are more inclined towards ghosts, spirits and the like.

They are always attracted towards the other women in life.

Your Smoking Addiction Can Be Un-Hooked And Un-Trapped

2008-11-26T22:46:00.000-08:00

Hooked, trapped, desperate—Oh these words are so heart wringing. Are those that utter these soul-searing cries being tied up by their thumbs? Or have they fallen down an old mine shaft?

Well, umm, no, they have… well they have made a decision to become hooked, trapped and desperate.

See the news blog tumbling out... Scottish smokers, hooked on their smoking addiction have vowed to fight the smoking bans.

Read the Press Release from the pharmaceutical company announcing… Smokers trapped by their smoking addiction are offered a new drug.

Hear the media babbling… Britney Spears' man is desperate to quit smoking for the sake of their children.

I bet if you are a smoker, you don't really use these strong words… more like, "I'd really like to quit, but I enjoy smoking, or, I've tried to quit but it's too hard, or, I want to quit, but I'm so addicted I don't think I can, or, I'm too scared, what if…" and so on.

But are smokers totally at the mercy of their habit and spinelessly despairing of escaping its bonds? Would they describe their smoking addiction like that? Trapped? Trapped by a chemical and emotional fix? They're not trapped by their decision, that's for sure, because we all have the ability to make our own decisions, yes or no as we wish.

A person makes a decision to try smoking. For some that leads to more decisions to reach out and take more cigarettes maybe a week or so later. Then some more, then pretty soon as the nicotine gets its grips into the brain's receptors, the person finds it becomes harder and harder not to go out of his or her way to acquire cigarettes to smoke… and hey presto, because of their decisions, they are now supposedly a hooked, trapped smoker, and if they want to quit, they are desperate.

But it still comes down to a decision to smoke. Every time a smoker lights up it is a decision they have made. A simple, personal decision, along with 1000's of other decisions each day that make up that person's character, lifestyle, mood, health and future.

A daily decision to get out of bed is made.

A decision not to have another helping of food is made.

You decide to clean the house, take the dog out in the rain, stack the dishes, and sort out your accounts for tax.

You don't dwell on how you'll miss lingering in your warm bed, or how you'll suffer without more food, or how unpleasant it will be to walk the dog in the rain, do the dishes, tax etc.

No, with unpleasant decisions you simply do what needs to be done because the consequences not to would be worse.

Some people make daily major decisions, sacrificing a lot because of a goal worth aiming for, such as a champion swimmer rising at 5am to practice 2 hrs before breakfast. Thus it is with smoking, or exercise, or getting out of bed in the morning. It's a matter of making the decision and focusing on the outcome.

You know it's absolutely pointless to try to worm your way out of getting out of bed. Who would you worm to anyway! But the point is it's automatic, although for some people an effort, to get up in the morning—but it has to be done. Has to... and your decision is made, because the day beckons and there's a whole lot of living to do today.

You're in charge of your decisions. You are not trapped; your brain and body are resisting, but no-one is tying you to your bed, so up you get… no-one is forcing you to have your smoking addiction, although your brain and body crave a smoke, so decide to get help to control it and focus on something better.

It's your decision and the consequences are not that crash hot if you don't make the right decisions.

You’re The Inspiration

2008-11-26T22:44:00.002-08:00

Thank God inspiration didn't wait for me. Had it done so, I'd probably still be trying to ward off the person holding the knife.

I wasn't trying to be inspired. I was trying to survive - literally trying to spare my own life. I knew if I didn't hold the door closed then the knife in the hands of the other person would be slashing at my flesh.

Trapped in the back room of the house, nowhere else to run, all my weight pressed against wood, knowing the other person wouldn't give up. That was when it happened.

Inspiration intervened.

'Put your coat on and let them in,' a small voice inside me whispered.

I looked at my coat hanging on the peg, a big thick skiing jacket. Would it protect me?

Maybe.

I unhooked it as I rested as much of my weight as I could against the door. Slipping it over my shoulders the small voice continued. 'Now let them in a bit at a time. A crack in the door at first, then let it open. When you feel it's right, pull them inside.'

It sounded bizarre to me, to allow someone attacking me to come beyond the piece of wood separating us, but that's exactly what I did, disarming them and then holding them until it was safe to let go.

You could argue that the small voice in my mind was the voice of common sense. You might call it intuition, spirit guides, God, or just plain crazy!

I've come to think of it as the voice of inspiration. Back then the voice of inspiration came as a surprise. Today, it's more of a friend.

The example I've given you may have saved my life, but since then it's helped me build and shape my life.

As I said at the beginning, 'Thank God inspiration didn't wait for me,' because I don't think I've necessarily been good at preparing to hear it's wise voice.

Yet inspiration has been with me, nudging, suggesting and playing around until I follow it's wisdom, change my reality and look back and laugh at myself for not following it's guiding force sooner.

Once a man wanted to win the lottery. For weeks he prayed to God and each week when his win failed to materialize, he complained during his prayers.

Then one day God came down and spoke to him. 'Meet me half way,' God's voice boomed. 'At the very least, buy a ticket!!'

And I think this is a little like what Edison meant when he said, 'Genius is 5% inspiration and 95% perspiration.'

Inspiration is just the thought, the idea, the guidance. Perspiration is the practical application, the grounding, the making it happen. And when we get this part right, who knows what great things we can create.

Today’s exercise

1. Go about life

2. Notice what goes on outside you

3. Notice what goes on inside you

With Love and good wishes

Neil

You Can Learn A Second Language No Matter What

2008-11-26T22:44:00.001-08:00

The other day I typed in "Language Schools" into Google and came up with a whopping 95 million hits. After popping my eyes back into my head, I wondered just how many public schools, junior colleges, and universities are offering second language learning opportunities in the United States. That must be an equally mind-boggling yet mysterious figure.

The ultimate mystery in all of this is really why, with all the opportunities to learn a second language, are so few Americans bilingual? The truth of the matter is that about 9% of Americans have a true bilingual ability. Yet, there are so many public and private schools offering second language instruction not to mention the booming business in the foreign countries offering Americans the chance of "becoming fluent" in another language.

With all of these opportunities, Americans remain at about 9% with Europeans at a 52% bilingual rate. Have you ever wondered why? I have.

For the past five years, I have been approaching my second language-learning odyssey using non-traditional approaches. I did not start with grammar first courses. You know what those are. If you took any sort of second language learning instruction in school, including Latin or Greek, you began learning the dead or live language with a grammar book.

What this effort got you, if you "stayed the course" was an ability to translate written texts. The almost universal experience of students who begin their second language learning adventure using the grammar-first method is that when they try to speak the language, or even go overseas for a year abroad, all they can utter is,

"I need to go to the bathroom and can I have a cheese sandwich, please?"

The way in which all of us, no matter our country of origin, learned how to speak our native tongue is the same way in which we must approach second language acquisition. Note I said, acquisition, and not learning the second language. There is a difference and therein lies the rub when it comes to selecting a course of study where you will first acquire a high degree of spoken fluency before learning grammar rules.

Let me go out on a limb here: If you do not approach the learning of a second language first with second language acquisition, instead of a grammar-first approach, you will not learn how to speak the language. And, is that not what we are talking about—spoken fluency?

One method accomplishes one thing while the other method gives you something you do not necessarily want. I am a long way from being able to read and discuss physics in Spanish. But, I can discuss simple news events, go to the doctor, or do most anything I need to do in Spanish. I want to grow linguistically where I will have the ability to discuss issues that are even more complex.

Right now, I am still in the child stage of Spanish acquisition and that's ok. Note carefully, however, I did not get to that stage by taking a grammar-first course. I can do what most five and six-year old native Spanish speakers can do. Trust me when I tell you this: This level of spoken fluency most Americans I know struggling to learn Spanish would kill to achieve.

So, how did I do it? I used the same method I unknowingly used learning my first language, English. I am learning Spanish using the same approach all Spanish-fluent native speakers used in learning Spanish as children.

I am engaging in second language acquisition first, and second language learning second.

The horse, language acquisition, must come before the cart, language learning.

That is what you must seek first.

Beauty And Perception

2008-11-26T22:43:00.002-08:00

When it comes to perceiving a woman’s beauty, the range of possibility is enormous. I have been lucky in this lifetime to have known several men who love all kinds of women—all types, body shapes, sizes, colors, races. Blonde, brunette, redhead. Short and round or tall and rectangular. It’s all good. Sadly, I have known far more who have such a narrow window for what is lovely that most women can’t even get an “acceptable” rating. They may be liked well enough as people, but they would need to change, sometimes drastically, to be perceived of as a beautiful woman.

One particular year, inspired by the men I knew who loved all women, I set myself on a course to learn more about this kind of openness.

In the several years between my two marriages, I dated a lot. A lot. I love men, and while I had my standards, they were not so high that I sat alone most Saturday nights. Even so, this one year, I really challenged myself. I decided that, for twelve months, I would not turn a man away because he was not good looking enough (nor because he was not as financially secure as I would have liked, since that is a more subtle but very real social attractor factor to most women). I wasn’t going to force myself to into a relationship that had no merit, of course. But if there was a draw of some kind, the looks and money “magnets” that I had been culturally trained to gravitate towards were not going to be mandatory. In short, I made myself push past my knee-jerk criteria for courtship and experience whatever came.

It was a good year. I made some good love and some good friends. As I had hoped, I learned that a perception of beauty was not required for love or intimacy. Neither was sex, for that matter. But there was more. I also learned that once I got past the standard issue version of physical beauty I had been trained to see, I saw new levels of beauty I never imagined.

Beauty as A Whole Body Experience

When it comes to true beauty, the single greatest challenge I can think of is to actually see it, even when it hits you upside the head. We are so culturally indoctrinated into accepting common standards of what is beautiful, and what is not, that finding our own true perception of, and response to, a person or object of beauty is a fantastic feat.

Notice in the last paragraph that I wrote “to actually see it.” You probably didn’t pick up on that limiting language, because most of us don’t. We have been trained to think of beauty in terms of the visual. Yet what about the beauty that wafts through our sense of smell, trails the beloved through the fingertip touch, greets us in a bird’s chirp, or tastes like down-home goodness? Are these not aspects of beauty? Must we see beauty as a movie with no sound—not to mention no color, no popcorn, no friend laughing with us, touching arms as we huddle in the darkened theatre?

We have been so bombarded with stimuli to the visual senses, we seem to have atrophied in all the others experiences that beauty brings us. Yet when we stunt the visual (which is what I did when I decided to date men that in my visual perception were physically unattractive), other senses come alive. It is not unlike the blind who develop a heightened sense of hearing.

In that year, beautiful men who were physically unattractive (to me) taught me about this. I learned that you can close your eyes as the tongue is awakened with tiny bits of dozens of different foods, in order to reawaken the sense of taste. I learned that you can close your eyes as the nose is awakened with the scent of roses, oranges, and evergreen needles. You can also close your eyes as the body is stimulated with feathers, fabrics, and fingers. So much so, you feel your skin, your arms, even your toes, as if you have never really felt them before. I learned you can close your eyes and awaken to the voice of the violin, then the cello, then the bass, finding them within the symphony as it plucks at your heartstrings and begs the blood in your veins to come along for the ride. Maybe best of all, I learned that you can close your eyes and awaken to the still small voice that speaks of what is true, what is not true, and what can’t yet be known.

If we must judge our experiences of beauty, we can at least learn to judge them on a full-sensory basis. Dating men I found unattractive physically, I discovered that is not all that I found attractive. I found I liked the smell of one man so much, I would anticipate his scent all day before a date. I came to love the skin of another, not because he was a muscle-man, but because his skin was so soft. His hair too. The sound of one lover’s voice always kept me laughing (in a good way), for he seemed to perpetually have joy in it. And the way I felt sleeping safely next to one particular partner—a big, rough and burly bouncer at a bar who was ever ready to fight any problem character at a moment’s notice—is a feeling of beauty I will never forget. We had nothing in common in the outside world, but his soul touched mine, and he brought the woman in me to life in a completely new way.

We can never fully appreciate the beauty of another with only our eyes. They have been trained to look astray, to judge in the nanosecond the gaze is focused. Only through the full body experience can the beauty of the body be the wonder it is meant to be. Only then will our perception be acute, and our memories vivid enough to savor, again and again. That year, I learned to live with my eyes closed and my capacity for perception wide open. It is a beautiful way to live.

Attend Alcoholics Meetings For Quality Sobriety

2008-11-26T22:43:00.001-08:00

Recently my husband & I moved to a different city within the state we live in. My husband has attended alcoholics meetings intermittently for quite a few years. The alcoholics meetings not only provide great support but it is essential to find the one that will meet your particular needs. If you attend the meetings out of convenience of time or location you will probably not get your needs met. In our new community we discovered that they had a number of different meeting times during the week. My husband has attended one meeting held on Monday night, but noticed that a majority of the people where younger than him at the meeting. Thus he felt he would not gain the much needed support from this particular group. After the meeting he learnt from a poster advertised that on Tuesday’s a group of men over 50 met at the same location. On attending that meeting he immediately found the understanding and support that he felt in his previous alcoholic meetings in our former community.

You can find several directories that list alcoholics meetings. In addition there are also a lot of ways of accessing the directories. A good start would be to check your local newspapers, area churches and visitor information centers for the listings. A number of alcoholics meetings are listed on the websites of cities and communities. Here you can find meeting times, locations and type of group. Alcoholics meetings are held in most communities. Alcoholics meetings that take place in larger communities are usually divided into specialty or sub groups, for example meetings for men, women, smoker’s non-smokers, gays or lesbians. There are several kinds of subgroups for the alcoholics meetings, so if you have a specific interest area or need, you should be able to find the right meeting. A number of communities also offer alcoholics meetings for adult children of alcoholics as well as for significant others that may be co-dependent. As for smaller communities the groups are tight knit and closed to newcomers, though most meetings for alcoholics are open for new members at all times. Since alcoholics meetings tend to follow a similar agenda and beliefs it is possible to attend meetings in communities that you are visiting. Often times being away from home either on a holiday or to attend a business meeting may be a time that is not easy for the alcoholic to maintain sobriety, but most likely you will be able to find a meeting that will take place in the community that you find yourself in. Such types of alcoholics meetings are not restricted only to the United States. Alcoholic meetings are held at several countries on a regular basis, so accessing alcoholic meetings when traveling abroad is a viable option. This helps not only in gaining the much required support whilst traveling, but also a great way to establish relationships around the world.

It doesn’t matter if you just started your path to recovery, or may have many years of sobriety, attendance at alcoholics meetings is a great way of gaining support, giving support, and developing long term relationships with those that understand what you are going through and want to lend a helping hand.

Are You Dealing With A Compulsive Lying Syndrome

2008-11-26T22:42:00.003-08:00

There are many people that just can’t stop lying. In order to avoid the truth this path is chosen. A lie that is said for someone’s benefit is to cheat another. However there are some people that always lie, meaning that they are looked upon as liars for everything and anything that they might say. Anyone who has the habit of lying continuously is called as compulsive liar. It is a condition where a person is just unable to speak the truth, even if he tries to put it in a simple and truthful way there happens to be a point at which he will be unable to continue with the harsh truths and in order to avoid this he will start it all again with lying.

Compulsive lying is also like an addiction just like sex, drugs, smoking and so on. Just as a person requires help under all these conditions, the situation is the same even with compulsive lying. Any person can be a compulsive liar; your daughters, sons, husbands, wife’s, girlfriends, boyfriends etc. Instead of avoiding your compulsive liar (friend or spouse) you can help them deal with this disease just like you would do in case of a more evident addiction.

For this you don’t have to directly approach them and tell them that they are lying as this could hurt their feelings or make them defensive. Instead opt for a way that would help them. Try showing them that you know about the lies, but try and take it easy by telling them that you knew it was meant as a joke. Let the victim realize that there is a problem and help them. You can take the victim to psychiatrist and expect a change in him/her.

There are people that look could be blatantly lying but actually they are trying to make a joke of a particular situation. You cannot take them in the counting of compulsive liars, as they are quite different from compulsive liars. Compulsive lying is also common in children where they try to hide the truth by lying. They make false stories and try and gain their parents faith. This is not good for children, as they have the potential of becoming compulsive liars from early childhood. They become dishonest from the day they learn to use lies as their weapon to hide reality. It is common with children as they may be frightened to tell the truth, and other kids use it to get attention. Once a child starts lying compulsively he makes a habit out of it and in future it is not possible for him to gather courage to speak the truth.

If you are a compulsive liar and want to find a way out of this destructive behaviour, why not consider using hypnosis. Many people the world over have freed themselves from the need to lie, by using this simple, yet effective technique. In fact it is so simple that you can actually get an MP3 download and listen to it at your own pace in the comfort of your own home.

Approaches To Feminization

2008-11-26T22:42:00.001-08:00

Feminization has become quite a popular practice especially among transsexuals. It is the deliberate effort to adapt the traits of the female - their appearance, behavior as well as actuations. This is done as an ultimate expression of one’s personality as well as desires.

This allows the male to attain the transformation that they normally would like to achieve. Though society is yet to understand and accept this, feminization continues to be prevalent especially in the world of transsexuals.

Feminization has several types. It could be temporary or permanent. The temporary types include cross-dressing, changing names, forced and hypnotic feminization. Cross-dressing is where the male wears feminine clothing to appear feminine. This provides him satisfaction and considers the act gratifying for he gets to experience how it is to be feminine even for a short period of time.

Changing names has also become a common practice especially for transsexuals. This is transforming masculine names into more female-sounding names. Name changing is similar to the special language of transsexuals which is also referred to as gay lingo.

Forced feminization, on the other hand, is forcing your subject to appear and behave more feminine. It highlights the appearance of the male – he is asked to portray typical female characters; usually the adapting the domestic looks of females such as that of a secretary, house help, or nurse. He is then asked to follow instructions, at times from a female. This is a role-playing act that satisfies their desire to achieve change in dominance. The shift in power from male to female provides them with the adventure and provides them the opportunity to fulfill their hidden fantasies and desires.

As some studies conclude, refusal from the one asked to follow is more or less superficial for both parties enjoy the act. But there are also cases where forced feminization is part of abuse and brutality as in the case of imprisoned males where they are forced to be feminine to provide satisfaction to their superiors.

Hypnotic feminization is using hypnosis to allow the subject to find himself in a superficial environment where he gets to appear, talk and behave like a female; helping him realize his desires of actually becoming a woman even for a short period of time.

The permanent methods include the undergoing medical procedures. Face Feminization is availing of cosmetic surgery to transform your features to become more feminine. Also, some medical procedures allow sex change where the genitals are changed from male to female. Hormones can also be placed inside the body to cause changes in appearance in behavior, becoming more feminine. These examples are the more drastic approaches to feminization.

Anger Management: How To Stay Calm Instead Of Losing Your Cool

2008-11-26T22:41:00.001-08:00

Have you ever found yourself angry with people you care about and didn’t seem able to stop yourself? Do people who love you tell you that you have anger management issues? Have you lost some important relationships or created problems for yourself at work because you couldn’t seem to control your angry behavior?

If this describes you, then you need to regain control and stop yourself from hurting others. The first thing to do is to recognize that you are choosing your anger. What? Choosing my anger? Why in the world would I do that? Well, there are several reasons people may choose anger. Let’s see which one best describes you.

Some people use anger to intimidate others and subsequently get what they want. In this way, the angry person is able to control the behavior of others.

Some people use their anger as a way of getting attention. If a person needs attention, it doesn’t always matter whether that attention is positive or negative, as long as someone is noticing him or her.

Anger can also be used as a tactic to avoid responsibility. If a person doesn’t want to do something, anger can be a valid way to get out of it.

Similar to wanting attention, sometimes people are feeling small and insignificant and anger works to pump themselves up or provide courage to do something scary.

And others use it as an emotional release, much the same way a pressure cooker lets off steam. Anger has energy. When someone is experiencing things that are frustrating, he or she may not be dealing with his or her anger. Instead of processing it, cognitively restructuring some belief systems or working out the energy physically, anger can provide a much needed release valve.

Do you recognize yourself in any of those scenarios? When you lose your temper, which one of these reasons best identifies what you are trying to accomplish? Perhaps you have yet another reason. One thing I know for sure is that you always behave in your best attempt to get something you want. Your behavior is never random and it never “just happens" to you.

It’s a very subtle difference but an important one nonetheless. All behavior is proactive. You do not choose a behavior because of something that occurred outside of you. For example, I can remember asking my youngest son to clean his room. He said he would do it later—only later never came. So, I patiently asked him a second time. Again, he said he’d do it later. This went on for most of the day. Finally, in exasperation, I lost my temper with him and yelled at him about cleaning his room.

The question is why did I get angry? Most people would say I got angry because my son wouldn’t do what I asked. However, the real reason is that I used my anger as my best attempt to get my son to clean his room. (Just for the record, it didn’t work very well.)

Why am I making this seemingly insignificant distinction? Because once you become conscious of the reasons you are choosing your behavior, then you can consciously choose to do something more responsible and more effective.

More responsible means you are getting your needs met without interfering with other people meeting theirs. Effective means it actually works to get you what you really want.

When you use anger, it is not responsible because anger almost always interferes with the other person getting his or her needs met. You definitely have not only the right, but also the responsibility to get your needs met but not at the expense of someone else.

Underlying most reasons for choosing anger, you are probably attempting to improve an important relationship in your life. Anger will never work to do that. You may get the initial satisfaction of getting the other person to do your bidding, but you have damaged something in the relationship.

You must make a proactive plan about what you are going to do instead of using anger. It should be something that has at least an equal chance of getting you what you want while supporting others in their process of getting their own needs met.

An Atypical Success

2008-11-26T22:40:00.000-08:00

Melba Rae likely never traveled the world. It’s likely that she never rode in a limousine. She had none of the trappings of fame and there was probably very little fortune. She was just an ordinary woman that was extraordinary in her ordinary profession.

Most of us have many teachers in our life. As we think back on our years in school we can often recall the names and some of the characteristics but there are not many who have a lasting place in our hearts. Melba Rae was different. I am sure that she holds a lasting place in every one of her student’s hearts.

High School students tend to think that they are all grown up. Of course, they are almost grown up being in the last years of the schooling they started back when they were five. Most of the teachers from my high school treated us like that also. School was serious business. We were all preparing for life ahead, college admissions, job placements, preparing for where our lives would lead us when we no longer were told where to go and what to do with our days.

Many seniors had most of the credits required to graduate. Many of the seniors were able to attend school for half a day during senior year. But almost every senior signed up to take Miss Barnett’s Advanced Composition class whether they needed it or not. It was not the class or the credit. It was being able to be in Miss Barnett’s class.

Many a student would walk around the halls with a gold star on their forehead after being in Miss Barnett’s class. Tootsie Pops were also handed our freely for active participation in class. She taught us to write and she taught us to think. She spoke to us as equals and reminded us that we were smart and ready to face the world. Every one of us was important to her, from the smartest valedictorian to the one who struggled to put a sentence together on paper. We were all equally loved and important to Miss Barnett.

She said that all of her students were her kids. Miss Barnett had never married. She claimed to be waiting for Efrem Zimbalist Jr. to come along and sweep her away. Most of us were too young to know who Efrem Zimbalist Jr. was but Miss Barnett explained to us that he was the most handsome man in the world. He was an actor of course. At a later time I saw an old photograph. He was very handsome, indeed!

When I think back on some the things I learned from Miss Barnett, there are not so many lasting things that I recall that have affected my writing. She hated the words “a lot” claiming that a “lot” was a piece of ground and the word had no place in compositions. I still find myself searching for an alternative if I am tempted to use the word. I never misspell the word “separate” because Miss Barnett always said, “se-PA-rate”. But the other things I cannot specifically recall, yet she undoubtedly affected my love for words and for writing.

At my senior classes commencement exercises we chose Miss Barnett to give the speech. It was the first time a teacher had ever been given such an honor. But it was well deserved and it showed our great respect for our favorite teacher. A couple of years later she passed away.

Miss Barnett may not have had many of the things that we all think of as success. She didn’t have the typical trappings. She did not have money. She did not live in a big house. She did not have the handsome husband (Efrem never did come!). But Miss Barnett found Joy and Happiness in her work. She gave it her all and it all came back to her. Every student loved her and respected her and learned from her.

Miss Melba Rae Barnett was an enormous success.

Aids To Quit Smoking

2008-11-26T22:38:00.000-08:00

As a fact, there are quite a number of ways available to help you quit smoking. Each method has a different effect on everybody. While one method works for one person, it may not work on another.

Here are a few popular methods to help you:

Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT)

Nicotine is a very addictive drug and for a person who has had developed a dependence to it, it really is very difficult for one to withdraw this very familiar drug from his system. To somehow control the physical withdrawal symptoms, there is a need for a steady dose of nicotine for the body. NRT includes lozenges, patches, gums and inhalers that take the form of a cigarette.

False Cigarettes

Your body may be anxious on the fact of not being able to hold on to a cigarette anymore when you started to quit smoking. This "therapy" substitutes the action or the physical sensation of having to hold onto a cigarette without having to take in all the chemicals involved in smoking.

Eye Openers

These may involve events that could cause a smoker to decide to be a non-smoker. For some people a certain form of shock will open their eyes on the odds of smoking and would cause them to finally quit smoking. These eye openers could be the information he may have gained about some smoking related illness such as cancer or it may be the loss of a close friend or a family member. Either way it allows the smoker to think of his own mortality and fragility and be conscious about his lifestyle. He may then decide to live a healthier life. But these eye openers could work for a while. There is a possibility that the fears he once had on smoking would eventually subside and the once non-smoker would once again feel comfortable with smoking.

Zyban (or Bupropion)

This is a prescribed antidepressant drug that helps the brain fight those nicotine-craving chemicals in the body. There may be also side effects to the body so it is important that one should consult a general physician before taking in the drug.

Acupuncture

This is an ancient Chinese form of medication which involves inserting thin needles into various yet specific acupuncture points of the body. This kind of quit smoking program should result to reduced urges and controlled levels of withdrawal symptoms.

Meditation

This involves deep breathing exercises and guided imagery to calm the senses and promote a sense of inner serenity and well-being. One form of meditation would involve a repetition of a chant or mantra while another would just involve emptying one's thoughts. This method is useful as it could help you relax and calm yourself especially when one is experiencing certain withdrawal symptoms.

Hypnotherapy

One not only has to convince his conscious mind to quit smoking. He/she also has to work with the subconscious, which is also believed to be the stronger part of the mind. This method of using suggestions can be learned or self-taught. One could use relaxation tapes or techniques to help calm your mind and free it from any worries.

Though there may be numerous methods available, the most important asset one could have is the will power to quit and stay quit.

Adult ADD: Motivational Focus -- Keystone In A Happy Life

2008-11-26T22:37:00.001-08:00

We’re in an informational age. Information is more available now than there's ever been in the world. More will be available tomorrow. Unless the entire Internet crashes, I predict that’s going to continue for a long time.

So, the question isn’t, “How many opportunities are there?” or “What is the best opportunity?” because there’s no such thing. There’ll be a better opportunity tomorrow than the one you’re working on today.

When you have ADD, it’s a blessing and a curse. When technology evolves at the speed of light and things are evolving full-tilt, we’re moving at rocket speeds, too. You need to ask yourself not what’s the best opportunity for someone with ADD. You need to ask yourself what do you want to be known for?

When your life is over, when everything is done, do you just want to have made some money, or do you want to have made something happen? Do you just want to be some schmuck who made some cash, or do you want to have done something of significance in the world?

I’ll tell you, if you’re paying attention, I certainly hope you want to do something of substance, because if you don’t, if you’re just chasing the buck, I can't help you. You can chase the buck all you want, and you’ll still be miserable tomorrow and the day after. Even if you get rich, you’ll still be miserable.

But if you want do something that’s absolutely, undeniably, super-sonic important to you...

Maybe it’s just having a really wonderful relationship with your family. Maybe it’s making a fortune so you can donate it to support local artists. Maybe it’s finding a cure for cancer. Maybe it’s teaching everybody in the world how to use ADD as a strength. I don’t know what it is for you, but I guarantee that you do, and if you’re saying that you don’t, you’re probably just afraid to go after it.

Yet, even it you’re going full tilt on something right now, that doesn’t mean you have to do that for the rest of your life. It does mean that if you’re going to spend your time doing something, it might as well be something you’re incredibly passionate about. Just figure out a way to integrate that exuberance into being successful. I'm speaking to you from experience here, meaning I have ADD and I’ve been in the exact same situation you may be in right now.

Focus on a goal, and really hone in. Once I figured out this course of action, I started accomplishing something in my life. I said, “Okay, I have 10 great ideas a day (just like most of us with ADD). How do I actually use my ADD to implement one of them and get something done?” I don’t want to just stop having great ideas. I love thinking about new ideas. It’s one of the things I’m best at doing. I realized that when I had a great idea, I needed to figure out how I could take the really great aspect of it and apply it to my current project.

Even with ADD, you can train yourself to do this, but even in conversations when you’re brainstorming with friends or business partners and random ideas come up, say, “Hey, that’s a really good idea. How do we apply that to what we’re working on?"

So, what does that have to do with ADD? It leads me to ask this question: “What does everyone with ADD need?” If I can come up with that, then I'll be great. Maybe there’s some sort of food or recipes that people with ADD would like that they don’t currently have access to, that they just wish they did. Now we’re talking about ADD again. High speed, super nutrition... and you bill it, "ADD Caf้" or whatever it is.

The point is, you figure out how you can flip things and switch them around. Use ADD to be focused on your bigger goal, that thing that is really important to you in your life. That way your ADD can be the catalyst, rather than the impediment in your success.

Addiction To Numbness

2008-11-26T22:35:00.000-08:00

Linda sat opposite me at one of my five-day Inner Bonding Intensives. She had decided to attend the Intensive because her depression, which had plagued her for years, was not being helped by medication or by the numerous forms of therapy that she had tried.

As she sat opposite me, telling me about her past and her depression, I felt like I was sitting with a person who had stuffed herself into a box and closed the door. There was a sense of emptiness and numbness that emanated from her.

"Linda," I asked her. "When did you first feel this numbness that I feel coming from you?"

Linda started to cry. "I was 9 years old when my uncle sexually abused me. He and my aunt lived a few blocks from our house. I went to visit my aunt and she wasn't home but my uncle was, which had never happened before. He told me not to tell anyone but I ran home and told my mom about what he had made me do to him. As traumatic as the sexual abuse was, I was equally traumatized when my mother didn't believe me and punished me for lying. I felt so devastated and alone. Everything changed for me from that moment on. Before that, I was a happy girl who did well in school. After that, I don't remember feeling happy and my grades kept going down."

"Linda, there is an incredibly painful feeling that you felt when your uncle abused you and when you mother didn't believe you and punished you. You were too young to handle this feeling so you did the best thing you could do, which was to shut down and numb out. Our language doesn't have a good word for this feeling. The closest words we have are heartbreak and intense loneliness."

"Yes," said Linda. That's the feeling. I remember how overwhelmed I felt by that feeling. I felt like if I kept feeling it I would die or go crazy, so I shut it down by numbing out."

"Right. But now, as an adult, you can actually handle the feelings of loneliness and heartbreak, yet you are still avoiding them. By avoiding them with numbing out, you are stifling your true Self, your core Self. And so you end up depressed. We will always end up depressed when we put a lid on ourselves to avoid feelings we believe we can't handle."

"But I still don't think I can handle those feelings."

"Linda, are you willing to find out if that is true?"

"Yes."

"Close your eyes and put your focus into your body. Imagine the 9-year old that you were. Let yourself remember that awful day and let yourself remember what you felt like being abused and then not believed and punished. Imagine that you are an adult holding yourself as a 9-year old, believing her and allowing her to cry while you comfort her. Breathe into the feelings, acknowledging the heartbreak and loneliness, bringing deep love and compassion to your 9-year old."

Linda held a stuffed animal that represented her inner child, holding and rocking her 9-year old for about 5 minutes.

"Linda, what is happening with the feelings?"

"I am feeling much better, much lighter. I don't have that numbness right now. And I don't feel depressed right now!"

"So by acknowledging, embracing and moving into compassion for your feelings of heartbreak and loneliness, they moved through you. You CAN manage these feelings. You no longer have to avoid them by numbing out."

Linda had become addicted to numbness as her way of managing her feelings, but once she learned to be with them with compassion, she no longer needed the numbness. I heard from her a couple of months after the Intensive and she was still feeling light and happy, with no sign of depression.

A Time To Remember - Spirituality Information

2008-11-26T22:34:00.001-08:00

It was early in the evening when the phone call came. Reaching over, I grabbed the phone and was greeted by my cousin who lives in New York City. There was a deep sadness in her voice as she told me that she personally wanted to call me and invite me to the 5-year memorial service she'd be having for her two children.

Although I have spoken with this cousin a number of times since that tragic day, September 11th, five years ago, it had been about 30 years since I last saw her. My work and other time constraints made it highly unlikely that I would be able to attend the event. And, so, I told her that I wasn't sure that I could come, but I'd try.

After the phone call, I dismissed the matter with the thought that I'd send a card with beautiful words of comfort and hope. As days went on, my thoughts were absorbed with other things such as my writing, my websites, my business associates, my books, my friends, my children ... .

My children? Yes, many of us who have children always think about them and trust that they do well. Mine were doing fine, but I still worried a bit. Someone once told me in jest that the first 40 years of raising children are the hardest.

Here I was, thinking of my children who were happy and successful whereas my cousin would never see her only two children on this Earth again. Her daughter and son were both in their twenties and were at work at the World Trade Center when the planes struck. What a dreadful affair that must have been for their mother.

And so, I decided to attend the memorial service. It was one of the best things I ever could have done. Just being there with friends and family members I hadn't seen in years served as a reminder to me of what was important in life.

Though nothing could bring back my cousin's children, my presence and that of others brought a small degree of comfort and hope and made it possible for her to "keep on keeping on." I would have been selfish indeed, had I let my work and other commitments prevented me from making that trip.

We may not usually think that we have an effect on the lives of others, but we would be amazed at how wrong we could be. We do not need to make great contributions to the world -- just small, consistent ones to those whose lives we touch. We could help so many people by just taking the time to listen to them, comfort them or just bring them hope.

I am glad that I visited my cousin. I gained so much by being there. I will never be able to understand exactly how she feels. Nobody could really understand exactly how someone else feels, but we could get a general idea. If we are understanding and compassionate, we will not only feel better about ourselves, but we may have a tremendous, beneficial effect on those whose lives we touch.

A Purpose Given Is A Purpose Worth Living

2008-11-26T22:32:00.000-08:00

These days there’s a mad rush to be purpose driven and I wholeheartly agree, it is better to be purpose driven than going in reverse or stuck in neutral. However, why would I be content to be just purpose driven and not living my life’s purpose on purpose? I believe the real reason most people are okay with being just purpose driven is because they don’t know how to identify their real purpose for existing or what purpose means when it relates to individuals. If you’re reading this article, this is the day that was created for you to begin living your life with a purpose on purpose.

The (buzz) word purpose can be substituted for a number of words, some of which could be reason, intention, intent, use, idea, objective, aim, function or determination. In my opinion, a purpose is the reason why you exist to fulfill a specific task that only you can fulfill at a specific time and season here on the earth. A purpose should not, but often times are confused with a person’s call. Purpose and call are different. A call is a particular business, occupation, profession or trade. Once again, purpose is your intended reason for being. Most people live out their lives fulfilling their call, not their purpose. They have prepared themselves for a chosen field or profession. Since they do not know their purpose, they work in that field unhappy for many years and retire. They never venture out to find out what makes them happy. I’ve finally mentioned the operative word---HAPPY, not just purpose!

Although happiness is evident when you are fulfilling your purpose, there are several other key VIRTUES that will accompany happiness. First, how do we begin to find what our purpose is in life? Why are we here? Like everything else in life, finding your purpose, begins with finding and understanding of who you are. Understanding one’s self is a process that most people neglect or choose not to go through. Understanding who you are as well as self-examination and evaluation is the beginning of identifying your purpose. It is important you get a mental picture of what you look like living your purpose now. I believe one of the most powerful forces in the universe is love and another is our ability to choose our own thoughts. A single action is derived from a thought. One of my favorite sayings is, “The me I see, is the me I’ll be.” In other words, I must begin to see myself as I want to be and not as I am. Once you can mentally see yourself living your purpose, those very images and thoughts you have about yourself will began to draw the desired thought patterns and behavior into your life that will produce what you desire.

Determining to change your way of thinking about yourself is paramount if you want to find your purpose. Another important area for identifying your purpose is discovering the spiritual part of you. You must become spiritually centered and develop a spiritual relationship with God. Some people don’t believe that there is a God, but just because the belief exists, does not mean that the belief is truth and nor does it mean that God does not exist. Research has suggested that people who have engaged and nurtured a personal relationship with God live healthier, happier, successful and longer lives than those who do not. It is out of the spiritual you that you will determine and establish your moral and value system. Your own beliefs of right and wrong and live your life according to those very beliefs without compromising them for anyone. And as you continue on the path to living your purpose, don’t forget to mentally see yourself purpose living.

At this point of discovery you will start to identify your passion if you don’t already know. What is it that gives you a burning desire to fulfill or complete in life? If you are driven with passion to do certain things and you are really focused on these things as well as get great fulfillment and enjoyment in doing them, then you may have identified your purpose. However, most have not arrived to this place unless they understand the importance of relationships and serving others.

Along with developing relationships and serving others, you must also master the art of effective communications and setting boundaries. Learning how to effectively communicate in all of your relationships will enable you to successfully set boundaries. Setting boundaries will bring and give you the respect you need to have long, successful and lasting relationships. These same boundaries will also help you in accepting and respecting the boundaries of others.

Once you are confident in your relationships with boundaries, you are now ready to re-evaluate and establish your goals. A goal can be the same as a purpose, but try looking at goals as an outline of achievements to your path. Let goals be nothing more than categories and sub-categories of the outline in which you have created. With this same outline, now you can begin to road map your success of accomplishing these goals step by step.

Finally, finding your purpose in life is not a secret, nor is it a complicated task. It does however require a commitment and dedication on your part to transform yourself from the inside out from a purpose given into a life with a purpose that you’re living.

A Matter Of Chatter - Spirituality Information

2008-11-26T22:31:00.001-08:00

I first met Cindy during my second year of college. It was in the cafeteria where she bumped into me. Yes, she literally bumped into me and her food tray went crashing into everything. I heard her mutter under her breath, "What an idiot!"

"Pardon me," I replied, not knowing what else to say, but definitely feeling that it was not my fault. "Oh no," she said, "It's always my fault. I am really so clumsy. I am very sorry."

Then I realized that she was referring to herself when she had said, "What an idiot." Over the months I got to know her a little better. Sometimes we'd sit at the same table in the cafeteria and other times I'd be sitting next to her in a class.

It never ceased to amaze me how often she repeated the phrase, "What an idiot", at the smallest thing that happened. It was as if she had been programmed to respond to the slightest misfortune with self-blame. One day I finally asked her why she kept referring to herself as an idiot. Her eyes opened wide as she said that she was not aware that she did. She confessed that it was probably a habit and that she always felt that when anything bad happened, it was her fault. She told me that the voice in her head always told her that she was an idiot and pointed out that she was not as good as others. The constant, negative chatter in her mind had prevented her from achieving her greater potential.

Cindy managed to graduate and we eventually lost touch with each other. But I always wondered how she was doing. I always hoped that she was able to still the chatter in her mind and to change the programmed voice to a more positive self-image.

The matter of chatter is a very serious one. If we were to listen carefully to what we are saying to ourselves we would find very interesting conversations going on. If we are happy and fulfilled, these internal conversations would probably be positive. If we are constantly worried and depressed, we would probably have sad and confusing conversations.

We can literally change the outside world by first changing our inner world. Generally, it's our inner conversations that determine what our outer world looks like. If we constantly think sad thoughts, then our self-talk will focus on sad things and the entire world will appear depressing.

If we always think angry thoughts, the world will appear angry. Even a beautiful sunset would appear to be filled with angry shades of red. But if we think peaceful and positive thoughts, the world will seem peaceful and positive to us.

So how do we silence the endless chatter in our heads? Here are a few tips:

* Try to find some quiet time each day and listen to what you are saying to yourself. Don't be like Cindy who kept calling herself an idiot. Once in a while we all say terrible things about ourselves, but if we do it too often, it becomes a habit and we start believing those things.

* As you listen to the conversation in your head, do not follow them. Just observe them and let them go. If you start to focus on the thoughts, you'd get caught up in them and then get carried away by them.

* After observing your thoughts for a while, you'll find that they move on and you are not trapped by them. Remember that your thoughts are not you. You only have them. Don't even worry about replacing them with positive thoughts; that will come later.

Simple as the above exercise may seem, it will have the most profound effect on your life. Gradually, at first, and then faster, you'll find that a greater calm comes over you.

Because you've let go of the chatter, the noise diminishes and you are now able to hear the voice of intuition, the voice of the universe seeking to guide and help you.

Yes, it's a matter of chatter, clatter and clutter and if we turn the volume down, we will be able to hear the beautiful symphonies of life.

7 Questions You Should Ask To Discover What Really Makes You Tick

2008-11-26T22:29:00.000-08:00

Be all you can be, but it's not always that easy!

Limiting beliefs, negative self doubt, fear and worry all lay before us ready to block our path at every turn. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life and the way things are but I always create something new and exciting to aim for.

One of the biggest challenges for people is that they really want to achieve something in life but are afraid of what will happen once they achieve it!

As an example, a coaching client of mine wanted to travel around the world but her fear was that if she did there would be nothing left to aim for. In this case wanting was more powerful than having! When the day came for her to return to the UK having visited all the countries she hoped for, what would be left to do? Nothing! Or so she thought.

Knowing what makes you “tick” and what excites you into action will support you in living a life that is full of fun, adventure and possibility. The thing to do is to always be creating, not at the expense of the goals you have, flitting from one to another without accomplishing any of them, but as a way to ensure you always have something to reach for as one goal is achieved.

Below are 7 questions you can ask yourself to discover what makes you "tick"

1. What do I really want and why do I REALLY want it?

There can be so many things you want to do with your life, some you are actually doing, but many more you are just talking about endlessly day after day. Sometimes they can be things that your partner, parents or family want you to do. Or perhaps you are doing it to prove something to other people, teach someone a lesson, or be right about something.

STOP! Write down not only what you want but why you want it, if you find it doesn’t excite you then throw it away, if you find you are actually doing it because someone else wants you to or because you are proving something, consider ditching it for something better. Really think about “What do I WANT” and then when you write the reason why you want it ensure it is because it will provide you with access to something that excites you.

2. Should I really change?

If history has taught us one thing, it's to cherish the life that we have gone through with all of its challenges and excitement. Maybe the question to really ask is “Am I ready to change?” and if not, why not? Are you holding yourself back for fear of the unknown? What will be the consequences of ending or starting something for those around me? These are questions you can consider, but be aware of using them as an excuse for not taking action!

3. What's the bright side in all of this?

With so much happening around us there seems to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see “the light” as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. There is no need to fear the unknown or what is going to happen next. Instead if what is at the end of your personal tunnel is a train, rather than view it as something waiting to knock you over you could choose to take it for a ride!

4. Have I done enough for myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be soul destroying so consider how much you do for yourself compared with other people. Do you give yourself enough time to relax and have fun? Include some of this in your goal towards your new exciting future. Once you discover whether you have done enough for yourself or whether there is more you can do, then you are at least on a path towards doing something about it.

5. Am I happy with where I am today?

It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! Appreciate and be grateful for the small things in life, can’t think of any? Well how about having the capability to read this article. If you are on line be grateful for your computer and the internet, if you have a printed copy be grateful to be able to read and see the words. Be grateful for the gloves that keep your hands warm and the music you love to listen/dance to. Be happy with where you are today, even if it is not where you want to be and then make the promise to take action towards where you want to be. Oh! And make sure you take action!!

6. Am I appealing to other people?

So maybe I don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean I can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit. You are doing this for you, NOT so that somebody else likes you or because “they” say it’s what you need to do. Making yourself appealing to other people may also be about changing your attitude. Are you usually bossy, intimidating or angry? These are qualities that won’t help you win friends and influence people! Neither will being a total yes person. Look at whether you appeal to others and how you can improve on your inner personal strength so that you appeal to all people in all situations whilst retaining your personal power.

7. What motivates and excites me?

What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of them may be the hardest part. Take time to recall a situation or event at which you were really motivated and/or excited, then think about a time when you weren’t that motivated. What was present in the motivated situation that wasn’t in the unmotivated one? When you discover that you have some tools to ensure that you remain motivated and excited AT ALL TIMES!

So what really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but if you approach what really makes you tick with the feeling that it’s not possible to attain you are already blocking your way and giving up before you even start that journey.

When you are feeling as if life is drifting away, or you are feeling a lack of direction then discovering what makes your tick, what motivates you to achieve and what you want for yourself and your life is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

On a course I attended they asked the question; “What’s your impossible promise?” think about that. What goal could you have that is SO HUGE it would not be achieved in your lifetime but would leave a legacy that others could continue?

5 Easy Steps To Accomplishing Any Goal

2008-11-26T22:28:00.002-08:00

In “Think and Grow Rich”. Napoleon Hill wrote “nothing is impossible to the person who backs DESIRE with enduring FAITH.”. Let’s simplify that by saying “nothing is impossible to the person who establishes a definite goal and truly believes that they can attain that goal.”

Once you’ve established your goal, there are two key elements necessary to accomplishing that goal, a definite date and a definite plan. I’ve learned that it’s easier to accomplish things if we break them down into small tasks. You don’t just put the whole steak in your mouth, you cut it up into small bite sized pieces. Not only does it taste better, but it’s also easier for your body to digest. You should break your goals down the same way.

Accomplishing Any Goal is just 5 Easy Steps away:

1. Establish a definite date – Set your goals in reverse. Pick a date of completion and work backward. Ex. Set a goal for the end of the month and then set short term goals for each day through the end of the month. This way you are setting short and long term goals and each day as you accomplish your short term goals you move one step closer to accomplishing your long term goal. Don’t forget to include personal development goals and days off.

2. Keep a calendar – Take the goal you set for the end of the month and write that goal in on the last day of the month. Then write down the short term goals for each day through the end of the month.

3. One at a time – Don’t try to cram everything into one day. If you try to post to your blogs, post to the forums, post classified ads, participate in groups, submit articles and work on your Squidoo lenses, etc. all in one day you’ll burn yourself out. Instead, focus on one or two things every day and then cross it off. Mark an ‘X’ on the calendar on the days you complete the scheduled tasks.

4. Set a time limit – Aim for one to two hours per day. By limiting the time you are spending and focusing on one or two tasks every day, you’ll build momentum and increase your success rate.

5. Stick with it – Stick with your schedule. Switching things up too often can get in the way of your success.

With a written plan, you’ll make accomplishing your goals easier. At the end of the month when you see more ‘X’s than empty squares, you’ll feel more accomplished. By implementing the 5 Easy Steps to Accomplishing Any Goal, you’ll find yourself making progress, building self-confidence and reaching and accomplishing your long term goals.

3 Tips For Self Help And Personal Growth

2008-11-26T22:28:00.001-08:00

Self help and personal growth are aspects that many individuals lack in. For many, getting up every day means going to work, coming home tired enough to fall into bed and to do it all over again the next day. Your days off be laundry, cleaning, cooking and trying to do something meaningful with the kids. While this is the life that many Americans live, it is not a life that is good in quality. And, while that paycheck is a great asset, it is not what is going to provide you with a life to look back on with a smile. Improve your life through self help and personal growth, and you and your family will be better off.

Tips For Improving Your Life Through Personal Growth

* Get A Life! You have heard the saying, now put it to use. While you may think it is necessary to work long hours and get a big fat check, if you ask your children if they would rather have lots of toys or see you more, more than likely they will choose you. Cut back on your demanding job and find time to invest in your family. Their values will improve, your relationship will improve and you will go to bed with a smile on your head.

* Self help means looking hard at you. While it is not easy to do, you’ll need to face your faults and find ways to improve them. Find out what you hate or dislike about yourself and then work on improving these aspects. Don’t like the way you look? Then change it. Don’t like the attitude that you have? Add things into your life that are worth being happy about.

* Time for you. It is also important to spend quality time doing things that you personally enjoy doing. Want to get away for a bit? Then take a walk after dinner and leave your spouse with the kids. A ten minute break from everyone is the time you can use to explore your own self and to learn about who you are and where your life is heading.

When you take the time to learn about yourself and to develop your relationships, your personal growth will allow you to become the person that you want to be.

100 Ways To Be A Better Time Manager

2008-11-26T22:27:00.000-08:00

Here are 100 ways to be a better time manager. Practise them all and you'll discover that you'll get more done, improve the quality of your time with others, and have a better balance between all the demands on your work and life.

1. Value your time.
2. Treat time as a resource to be managed.
3. Measure your time.
4. Assess how much time you have to manage.
5. Negotiate more control over your working time.
6. Decide the best work pattern for yourself.
7. Get control of your tasks.
8. Have the freedom to balance your tasks.
9. Work at an even pace.
10. Plan ahead.
11. Balance the demands on your time.
12. Don't work more than you need.
13. Be a pearl diver: look for the gifts that time brings.
14. Use time to get results not just fulfil duties.
15. Do something productive and enjoyable each day.
16. Ask "what is the best use of my time now?" questions.
17. Identify your time robbers.
18. Have a purpose to your life.
19. Be effective...
20. ...and then efficient.
21. Don't rush or overwork.
22. Inject variety into your daily tasks.
23. Spend up to a quarter of your day on routine tasks.
24. Do routine tasks in the shortest time possible.
25. Develop good time habits.
26. Experiment with different methods for doing routine tasks.
27. Use the Shoe-shine principle of doubling-up routine tasks.
28. Make the most of shortcuts.
29. Prepare your materials in advance.
30. Tidy up as you go.
31. Question every bit of paper you use.
32. Automate.
33. Identify bottle-necks and eliminate them.
34. Create easy work flows.
35. Use just-in-time systems to minimize clutter.
36. Bunch similar tasks together.
37. Identify the quickest work methods and then train everyone.
38. Know which jobs can be speeded up and which can't.
39. Have a regular time slot for chores.
40. Put aside time for maintenance tasks.
41. Don't encourage unnecessary paperwork.
42. Organise your filing systems.
43. Back up your computer records at fixed times.
44. Clear your files out regularly.
45. Keep your desk clear.
46. Handle every piece of paper just once.
47. Eliminate junk mail and spam.
48. Phone rather than write.
49. Don't photocopy anything unless it is essential.
50. Send replies on the same piece of paper.
51. Keep your communications sweet and short.
52. Manage your projects with time, cost and quality estimates.
53. Run projects with detailed time plans.
54. Add on 20% to your initial project plans.
55. Have detailed lists of your project tasks.
56. Create a series of deadlines for your projects.
57. Look for weak links in your project and have back-up plans.
58. Streamline low-priority project tasks.
59. Keep on top of what's going on in your project.
60. Track and monitor your project progress.
61. Spend up to a quarter of your day on progress work.
62. Have a clear vision of your goals.
63. Align your goals with your values.
64. Be certain of achieving all your goals.
65. Write down your goals.
66. Plan your key result areas.
67. Set SMART goals for short-term tasks.
68. Identify jobs you hate and delegate them.
69. Break down big jobs into smaller chunks.
70. Prioritise your tasks according to their importance.
71. When you're overwhelmed, write out to-do lists and prioritise.
72. Leave loose ends so you can come back easily.
73. Use little scraps of unused time for itsy-bitsy jobs.
74. Plan 60% of your day; leave the rest for what comes up.
75. Put big jobs in your diary first, then the little ones.
76. Celebrate reaching your goals.
77. Spend up to a quarter of your day on non-doing tasks.
78. Take time out to sit and think.
79. Look after your health.
80. Get a sense of the times.
81. Take time to enjoy and appreciate.
82. Use the energy of the moment.
83. Occasionally just do what you want to do.
84. Take breaks at least every 90 minutes.
85. Review your day or week.
86. Spend up to a quarter of your day with others.
87. Always turn up to meetings on time.
88. Be courteous and brisk with others.
89. Only hold meetings that have a clear purpose.
90. Let people know when you're not free.
91. Minimise unnecessary interruptions.
92. Learn to say No to jobs that aren't yours.
93. Avoid time-wasters.
94. Control your phone.
95. Screen all incoming calls.
96. Devise a team time policy.
97. Keep a clock on the wall.
98. Know your time manager personality.
99. Check whether you have a tendency to overwork or underwork and adjust.
100. Enjoy your time.

Control Blushing Through Hypnosis

2008-11-24T21:40:00.003-08:00

Being confident means not exhibiting that blushing redness when confronting people. It means that, when you are in front of a crowd all red and blushing, you do not wish that the floor would open and eat you up. You want to exude that confidence and bid goodbye to blushing. Make it a thing of the past and be more assertive when facing other people.

Literally and traditionally, blushing means being modest or bashful. It also means displaying that marked redness on one’s face. Blushing is associated as a result of shame, embarrassment, or modesty. It should be notable differently to flushing, which is a more intense state, extending over to the body and does not have a mental source. Blushing that persists for longer periods is believed to be an early sign of rosacea, while that fear associated to blushing is called erythrophobia or other wise known as pathological blushing.

Blushing, in more recent definitions, are a result of sexual anticipation and/or enlargement of erogenous zones. This condition is also seen to be exhibited more among younger generations. Blushing regions may be different in structures in every individual, because others may have wider capillary loops and vessels in their facial skin, particularly the cheeks and this area is also marked to have lesser vasoconstrictors. This means that greater vasodilation in these areas, thereby causing the blush on the face.

One great way to control blushing is through hypnosis. It works on relieving that part of your mind that causes you to blush. It gets you to the very source of your blushing, and resolve whatever needs to be settled. Because all that we are and all that we feel are in the sub-conscious mind, this is where hypnosis works. It strikes that part of your sub-conscious mind and changes it in direction, giving it the much needed boost to feel and live more confident.

Harnessing the power to control your sub-conscious mind is not easy, but once you get the hang of it, your blushing is treated with speed and effectiveness. That is why hypnosis is called the brief therapy. It likewise teaches you to feel relaxed and comfortable getting the results that you want not just treating your blushing condition.

How marvelous it would be not to worry anymore about blushing. Make it a thing of the past with increased confidence and bid blushing bye-bye.

Are You Focusing On What You Really Want?

2008-11-24T21:40:00.001-08:00

Imagine you're happily driving down a country road on a clear, sunny day. Suddenly a semi truck crosses the center line and is heading right at you. Heart pounding and adrenaline rushing, you react. Will you avert disaster? Maybe. Maybe not. In this moment, your life depends on where you focus.

Professional driving instructors tell us that what people usually do in emergency situations is to stay focused on the object they are trying to avoid. In driving, where your eyes and mind are focused is most often where you will steer.

Unfortunately, if you were focused on the truck in the situation above you would likely steer right into it. The route to safety is to focus on where you want to go. In this case, you'd look away from the truck to a place that's safer. You would then automatically steer the car in that direction. Safe!

You may be wondering, "What the heck does that have to do with creating more pleasure, passion, and purpose in my life?"

My response is "A great deal!" As in the example of the truck, your life depends on where you focus.

Focusing on What You Don't Want Steers You to More of That

Often when we are feeling stuck, dissatisfied, confused, or unhappy we are focused on what we DON'T want. We are looking at the truck we'd like to avoid.

We're thinking or saying "I don't want to be in this miserable job another day" or "I don't want to work on this project" or "I don't want to have pizza for dinner tonight."

From the big events to the small details in life, we tend to put a lot of our thoughts and attention on precisely what we don't want.

So, what's the problem with that? Well, it's kind of like steering your car into the truck. The more you focus on what you don't want, the more you head in that direction.

Your mind is wired to create whatever you focus on.

Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" and Maxwell Maltz's "Psychocybernetics" are two classic books on this subject. These and other researchers tell us that the mind can't tell the difference between something you're thinking about that you want and something you're thinking about that you do not want.

Whatever you think about, your mind goes to work to make that happen.

Getting More of What You Really Do Want

If you'd like to get more of what you want in life (pleasure, passion, purpose), shift your focus away from what you don't want and clearly, purposefully towards what you do want.

Your mind will go to work creating that. You'll get unstuck. Your energy will increase. Solutions, alternatives, and options will come to you more easily.

Here's a recent personal example. At the end of a long day, I was getting ready to prepare dinner. I'd been grocery shopping and had the ingredients for three complex dishes I hadn't made before.

Hungry and tired, I reviewed the recipes but quickly became frustrated and overwhelmed. I started saying to myself "I don't want to make these dishes. I don't want this to be so hard. I don't want these recipes to be so complicated."

Those thoughts increased my agitation. I felt stuck and upset. Then I took a deep breath. I asked myself, "What do I really want in this situation right now?" (Besides a personal chef!)

The answer was "I want to make a healthy and great tasting dinner in a way that is fast and easy for me."

I quickly saw a solution I'd been unable to see minutes before: make only one of the new dishes that night along with a simple salad and save the other new recipes for another evening.

So that's what I did. The cooking was less stressful and the food turned out great. I switched from what I didn't want to what I did want. And it worked!

Are you focused on what you want or what you don't want?

I know many (maybe most) of us have an ingrained habit pattern that focuses us on what we don't want. Changing this pattern can be challenging. And I've seen with myself and my clients that it's definitely worth doing!

In Your Life

The more you focus on what you do want, the more pleasure, passion, and purpose you will create in your life. Focus on the clear road ahead, not on the truck coming at you. Try experimenting with this.

1) When you're feeling stuck, stressed, worried, angry, unhappy, or upset, become aware of what you're focusing on. You may be focusing on exactly what you don't want.

2) As soon as you notice you're focusing on what you DON'T want, ask yourself, "What DO I want in this situation?"

3) Purposefully and intentionally, change your focus to and keep your focus on what you do want.

4) Repeat as needed.

Enjoy!

Are You Able To Control Your Circumstances?

2008-11-24T21:39:00.006-08:00

Well….

Are you?

Do you feel completely in control of your life, totally happy and fulfilled?

Or, like the majority of people are you unhappy about significant parts of your life?

The truth is you can control your circumstances and how you feel and act in response to your surroundings.

One of the key messages from Stephen R Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” is that you are “response-able”. You are not like a moth flying into a candle flame because it cannot change the way it responds to the stimulus of the light from the candle.

As a human you are able to choose how you respond to your surroundings, to other people, to your circumstances. There is a gap between the stimulus from your senses and your response to that stimulus. In that gap you can make a vital choice – your response!

For many people this realization is a powerful and liberating thought that helps overcome very difficult life circumstances – loss of a job, a close relative, terminal illness…

Prisoners suffering terrible torture with no means of regaining their liberty have still found freedom in the knowledge that there is one thing that cannot be taken away from them – their freedom to choose how they respond to their circumstances.

REACTIVE PEOPLE EMPOWER THE NEGATIVE CIRCUMSTANCES IN THEIR WORLD TO CONTROL THEM

“Response-ability” goes further than that – we are responsible for exercising the choice, for being proactive.

People who abdicate this choice, who let their physical surroundings, the opinions of others, their current circumstances control their responses are living in re-active mode.

To break out of this vicious circle, you need to subordinate your impulse to respond instinctively. You need to examine your values, what you consider to be important, before choosing your response.

BEING PROACTIVE IS NOT BEING IN DENIAL

Being proactive should not be confused with the kind of positive thinking where you tell yourself that everything is ok even when you are about to go broke or your spouse is about to leave you. Being proactive is not the same as being pushy and obnoxious.

It is just that when you are proactive, you are not controlled by your circumstances, you are free to choose how you react. You can choose to go with the flow and let circumstances control your response if you judge that to be the best thing to do, you can choose to stand up and make a difference, you can choose to look for a win-win result…

MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION TODAY

How do you respond to your surroundings, to other people, to circumstances? Are there times when you know you are failing to overcome your impulses…

Do find There’s someone who always makes you angry, you can’t resist eating that enticing little snack, you feel overwhelmed by your finances?

Stop!!! Don’t just react blindly. Ask yourself “what is the best way for me to respond here, what will produce the best results?”…

… And make that choice!!! Start living a proactive life today!!!

Anger Management Hypnotism

2008-11-24T21:39:00.005-08:00

Anger is one of the most intense of all emotions. It could be described as a strong negative feeling usually caused by our bodily responses to a certain condition. It arises as we are affected by what is presented to us. Anger is usually manifested and expressed in different ways.

Reasons for experiencing anger are unique and diverse. You may be caused to react over even simple things in a certain way. The problem is when you express your anger in a way that is destructive to you as well as your surroundings. This creates a concern on handling such feeling; on ways of venting out your anger effectively. Such strong demonstration requires anger management.

Anger management is an effort to address your feelings in a more constructive way. You will be presented with several “stimulants” known to be the usual triggering factor for human beings. Your reactions will then be analyzed for you to be able to work on them. The crucial and important aspect is when you are able to gain control over your anger. As the term implies, you are learning to manage your emotion in a way that it does not cause any form of harm or destruction.

Experiencing anger is not bad as it is a natural emotion as human beings. It is something that could normally occur. However, you must always encourage your self to do away with it. Probable causes cannot be accurately classified. It is only known that feeling angry is triggered by situations and people presented to us; usually by things that are not of your liking. It could be a person, a particular event, a petty thing among other things that trigger you to be irate.

To address this intense emotion, you could find healthy means of expressing it. This may be through relaxation – freeing yourself of things that stress you. You could also manage your anger through constantly trying to remain calm when encountering your tendencies to be angry. It is also important that you are aware of your condition and accept that you tend to be often angry.

With this, you could take concrete step in correcting it. A way on achieving this is seeking professional help. But instead of going to psychiatrists, whose services can be costly, you should try Hypnotherapy. It is considered to be a very effective way to address problems like anger management.

Anchoring The Nlp Secret To Self Confidence

2008-11-24T21:39:00.003-08:00

We have all heard about Pavlov – the guy who found that he could condition dogs to drool by merely ringing a bell. The dogs were conditioned to associate the ringing of the bell with food. In NLP we call what Pavlov did anchoring.

If you think about it anchoring plays a large part in our lives. We all have a song that makes us feel good...or bad. NLP gives you the chance to create your own anchors and to create them in other people as well.

Imagine having the people around you associate feeling good with you! How would that change your relationships with them? How about that person you are attracted to? If you could make them associate feeling of attraction with you how would that change things?

So how does anchoring work?

Someone has an intense emotional experience and at some point during that experience a specific stimulus is applied creating a neurological link between that stimulus and emotion. A negative example of this would be a woman whose husband has died. As those who attend his funeral pass they touch her on her arm while giving her their condolences. Weeks after the funeral the woman will only have to be touched on the arm for those feelings of grief to come back to her.

The stimulus could be anything from a touch to a tone of voice (how dos it feel when that certain person tells you that they love you with that certain tone of voice?) to the tapping of a pencil on a table top. The important thing is that it is used at a certain point of the experience and that it is suitably unique when there is strong emotional stimulation so the two get associated with each other.

Let’s try an exercise in developing instant self confidence:

Think of a time when you were totally confident, you felt powerful and there was no doubt in your mind. As those feelings come back to you they will peak and subside. Start clenching your fist. Repeat this and then test it by clenching your fist. If you’ve done it right you should feel a welling up of those same emotions. This is how simple it is. See what a difference anchoring can make to your life? Imagine firing off this confidence anchor whenever you are feeling a little unsure of yourself.

You can also do this to other people. The same principles apply.

The effectiveness of the anchor depends on the strength of the emotional experience, the uniqueness of the anchor and the number of times it is repeated.

This article covers the very basics of anchoring a good practitioner course will give you many powerful anchoring techniques and applications from training to playing poker.

As mentioned near the beginning of the article imagine anchoring everyone around you to positive feelings. How about being able to anchor your boss to good feelings? Would this make a difference to your career? You bet it would.

If you could anchor yourself to states of extreme confidence power and motivation that you could then fire off at any time you wanted what would be different about your life? Imagine being able to do the same to the people around you. Would this increase you power as a business leader or manager? How about doing it to your children as a parent? The possibilities are immense.

Alcoholism: Why Can't I Stop Drinking?

2008-11-24T21:39:00.001-08:00

The underlying basis of all addictions - and alcohol is no exception - is the avoidance of pain. While there is evidence that some people have genetic and biological predispositions toward alcoholism, not all people with these predispositions abuse alcohol or become alcohol dependent. Many people who join AA learn to deal with their painful emotions without the use of alcohol, regardless of their genetic predisposition.

What if you are a person who wants to stop drinking, who has tried AA and treatment programs, and just can't stop? What might be happening here?

Often, the pain you want avoid is the pain of loneliness and inner aloneness. The aloneness is caused by inner disconnection, and the loneliness is caused by not connecting with others.

Sometimes, the situation you are in is extremely lonely and painful; yet leaving the situation might seem even more painful.

For example, Gwen married a man she thought was kind and caring. But after they had a child and experienced financial stress, he became verbally abusive to her and to the children. Alcohol had always been a part of her life, but she started to abuse it when the pain and stress of her marriage became too great for her to handle. Due to her fear of her family's judgment and her two children, Gwen did not want to leave her marriage.

Gwen felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. If she stayed, she would need to continue to be at the other end of her controlling, angry, needy, blaming, judgmental husband. Gwen felt extremely lonely with him and suffocated by him - feeling like she had to tow the line and do what he wanted or be at the other end of his rage. Whenever he would attack her with his anger and criticism, she would overtly give in, but covertly numb out and resist him with her drinking. Her husband, Sam, hated her drinking, and would become even more controlling. But for Gwen, drinking was the only way she knew to survive the pain of his insults while finding some way to resist his control. Not knowing how to take care of herself with her husband, she gave herself up, creating the inner aloneness.

If she left, she believed she would need to face the anger and judgment of her parents and siblings. No one in her family had ever been divorced. Gwen was terrified of being outcast from her family of origin. She believed that the pain of leaving would be worse than the pain of staying - that she would end up feeling even lonelier.

Gwen tried to learn to speak up for herself, but this only brought more abuse. From Gwen's point of view, there was no way out other than to numb the pain through drinking.

As long as Gwen believed that she could be okay only though the approval of others, she remained stuck and unable to stop drinking. But Gwen decided to get some help in learning how to take loving care of herself.

Gwen grew up being the good girl in her family, the person who looked after everyone else's feelings and needs. She learned well to ignore her own feelings and needs. When she started counseling with me, she actually had no idea why she drank.

As Gwen started to tune into her own feelings and learned to connect with a spiritual Source of love and comfort, she realized that keeping herself and her children in an abusive situation was not loving to anyone. She asked her husband to join her in counseling, but he refused. Mustering her courage, she left her husband - and discovered that her family was actually relieved for her! They had been very worried about her, but had not wanted to interfere.

When Gwen no longer felt trapped and suffocated, her desire to drink went away. She was so excited to be able to be herself. "I just couldn't be myself with Sam. No matter what I did, it was wrong, unless I did exactly what he wanted me to do. It is such a relief to be able to just be myself. And my children actually seem happier too. They are so happy to have me back rather than numbed out with alcohol."

If you want to stop drinking and can't, you might want to look closely at what you would need to do to change your situation so that you no longer need to drink to avoid pain.

Alcohol Addiction — What Were You Up To Last Night?

2008-11-24T21:38:00.004-08:00

Do you remember what you did last night? And the night before, and the night before that?

If you have mornings where you forget what you did the night before, it is time to take a serious look at your drinking habits.

Alcohol addiction could mean that you drink every day; or that you drink to excess every week; or that you feel you can't cope without alcohol. You don't have to be permanently drunk to be addicted.

Consider the effects that your drinking has at the moment. If you can honestly say that you hardly ever get drunk, you never do something you regret the next day, and you can cope without alcohol, then relax - you are out of the danger zone. But if your answer to any of these questions is "yes," then you could be on a slippery slope.

Alcohol addiction creeps up on people without warning. They believe that they have all the control, and feel, "It could never happen to me!" But, one day, they wake up realizing that they are out of control. The alcohol has taken over.

They think it's too late. They spiral into lack of self-respect, hurting their body, then their mind and spirit, and finally their loved ones.

But the good thing is that it's never too late. You can find stories of people who have had the most harrowing of experiences, going right into the gutter (often literally); yet, eventually, they did find out how to stop drinking alcohol and now they are completely free of that prison.

How did these people do that? Well, each one has his own story. However, there are proven ways that help you tremendously. Because, you can't do this by yourself. If you are addicted to alcohol, you will need help. One thing to remember is that there are a number of organizations to deal with such problems, from official government organizations, to charitable ones such as The Samaritans.

Of the self-help tools available, there are books available in the library, and self-hypnosis CDs and downloadable MP3s (by reputable hypnotherapists). Other routes include getting help from the medical profession (e.g. CBT), and from complementary therapists. The more avenues you experiment with, the greater the chance of your success, because they all work together to make it more powerful.

By combining professional help, self help, support from friends and family, and help from expert organizations, you can overcome this.

And it's power that you want: Aren't you tired of being the slave to alcohol?

Adult ADD: Using ADD To Make More

2008-11-24T21:38:00.003-08:00

In our last articles we discussed finding a way for you to get more money and how this works when you have attention deficit. But number one, you’ve got to know how much more money you want. It’s not okay just to say, “I need more money.” How much more money do you need? That way, you can figure out whom you’re going to target to get what you need.

If you’re in a business where you sell a product, or you sell service by the hour, let’s say if you need $1,000 more dollars a month and you charge $100 an hour, it’s very simple math to figure out that you need 10 more clients. But finding them and the money you need doesn't need to bring on your ADD anxiety.

Actually, ADD blends well with this situation because you can make a game of getting where you need to be by saying, “If I need 10 more clients, I bet if I find 100 prospects I’ll get 10 clients.”

Now if you make a game out of finding 100 people that you might be able to impress, or at least find something that will get yourself remembered, and then it’s simply a numbers game. All you can do from there, which is so much fun as well, is say, “Let’s see if I can get these new clients in three weeks,” and you make it a game. You use your capabilities of attention deficit to make it fun, number one, and to make it into a game—a challenge. People with ADD love a challenge.

Number two, be persistent, and people with ADD are very persistent. We have the ability to go, not even an extra mile, but ten miles just to make something happen. These qualities of attention deficit can work for you immediately.

The whole point of this part of our series is to get you to stop thinking about what you don’t have and to start thinking about what you want.

There are places that you can look at online to find the information you need. You can go to any of the job websites, like Monster or CareerBuilder, to can post your resume. I would highly recommend that you do something interesting, because of the ADD low threshold for boredom.

Number two, is you can go to a website called Elance, if you’re a service provider. Here, you’re bidding on a job. Be careful not to bid lower than everyone else because you need to get paid to do what you want to do. It’s a way of matching yourself up with people who are looking for your skill set and are willing to pay for it. You may need a bit of the ADD persistence here, too, but keep at it.

But if you're not a contractor and are looking for a better job, here are some tips:

*Get noticed by doing something unusual. For instance, use a picture of a pair of socks and caption it, "If you hire me, I'll knock your socks off." Of course, that's been going around a while and a lot of people have already seen it, so think of something similar and something in line with your own personality. Use your ADD creativity!

*Write a paragraph in the same "voice" as the company you're targeting. Study their annual report or other literature to figure out what that is. The paragraph should detail your leadership qualities and your ADD ability to solve problems. Put this at the top of your resume. Remember, you only get about 30 seconds to make an impression.

*If possible, email your resume, but paste it into the body of your email, rather than sending an attachment. Attachments sometimes carry viruses and can be snatched by the antivirus or spam filter.

*Don't use your accomplishments as the organizing factor

*Don't use special fonts, bold, italics or other special characters. You want to look professional, not flashy.

These are loose guidelines, and you can find much more information online about preparing a resume. Use your ADD tenacity to ferret out the best information. Sites like SmartMoney, Monster, and CareerBuilder have lots of tips for you.

The most important thing about finding the money you need is to use your ADD creativity and persistence and make it fun, so your attention deficit won't make you bored. The key is: Don't drop the ball, until you have what you want!

ADD - Got The Day-to-Day Boredom Blues?

2008-11-24T21:38:00.001-08:00

ADD people are bored very easily, as you well know if you have ADD. People call us lazy, but it's not that. We'll put tremendous effort into things that matter to us, and that we enjoy. But how exciting is washing dishes or cleaning up a mess of stuff? Not very and it just doesn't happen. We learn to live with our messes.

Am I right? The dishes could be overflowing the sink, and the dust in the house might be forming little clumps that are starting to resemble small animals. They're scaring your cat. Oh, and then, there's the floor, littered with all matter of elements--rock, paper, hedge clippers, whatever. It's just a mess! And you look at that stuff, and say to yourself, "I'll get to that later," and you never do. Your ADD never allows it.

Nobody has to live that way, of course. And you can't allow it to go on indefinitely or the health department will come by and tack a "condemned" sign on your door. The stuff has to be done, no matter how much your ADD brain doesn't want to do it. But there's a way to do it painlessly. And it's so simple that you'll laugh when you read it, but it works. Really.

Here's what you can do...

Maybe you're going to pick up that stuff on the floor and actually put the hedge clippers in the garage. You really didn't need them to open that wireless mouse package, but they make it so hard! Well, OK... Get out your iPod or your CD player or turn on the Sirius, whatever, and then, crank it up. Really hear it. Then, get your nose involved. Light some incense or a scented candle that you like. And now, your sense of taste. Try some sugarless gum or hard candy while you're cleaning up. Your eyes and hands are already involved, so that will have all your senses involved and your ADD brain is less likely to balk.

You can get some added benefit by wearing something you like. What do you enjoy doing when you aren't working? Whatever that is, if it's playing football, put on the gear while you're straightening up around the house. You'll be amazed at how well this stuff works.

And you're set. You'll be dancing around, smelling good smells instead of last week's laundry, wearing something that makes you feel good, and just generally getting things done. ADD brains do get bored pretty easily, so it's important to keep it occupied. If you get really good at this, you might start to enjoy the chores you hate to do. You never know... ADD brains just need to be involved all the time. Give every sense something to do and your place will be clean and orderly. Or, if this doesn't work... hire someone to do these things for you, if you can afford it. One way or another, the stuff has to be done. Make it as easy for yourself as possible.

Accepting Change

2008-11-24T21:37:00.000-08:00

I lost my water bottle. Change was bound to happen after that.

I know it is really no big deal as it’s just a little thing – but I really liked that water bottle! It fit perfectly in the cup holder of my car, it had an easy to open lid, a spill guard that made it easy to drink out of and it was decorated with some cool stickers that really spoke about me that I’d acquired over the 3 years I had used it. I drink a lot of water and I carried it with me everywhere. My water bottle was very personalized and I was quite attached to it.

Of course it also didn’t help that I only very rarely lose things. I can probably count on one hand the number of significant items I’ve lost in the last 5 years. Though not highly materialistic I am usually quite attentive to my material possessions and do not misplace them often. So I was a little confused and a little disturbed when I realized my water bottle, a very important part of my life, was missing.

Change is an interesting process. Psychologically speaking it goes like this: Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Determination, Action, and Maintenance. But it’s more than just a process of decision making and taking action. Change is an emotional journey.

PRECONTEMPLATION

At first I kind of stumbled around for a couple of days thinking it would just “show up” somewhere. I back tracked my path since the last time I knew I had it and checked in with the places I had been (at least 6.) One person even had a recollection of seeing it there at some point but it was still nowhere to be found. I pined about it for days! I was struggling with letting go of my attachments to this old water bottle. I was feeling lost, sad, disappointed and, well, thirsty. I was going through an emotional process of understanding and release – not sure whether I could make it and not sure I was willing to accept the loss of the water bottle yet.

CONTEMPLATION

Finally though, after almost 2 weeks, I came to grips with the fact that it was lost and not coming back. Surely I had left it in a coffee shop somewhere and without my name or number on it someone had very likely picked it up and taken it home with them. I realized that holding out hope that the old water bottle would magically reappear was resisting the truth of reality. It was time to accept that I needed a new water bottle. I almost felt like I was grieving the loss of one of my most important possessions. The process of grief is long and challenging as well. Pile that on top of the emotions of change and I felt like I was spinning.

I know this seems like I am making a mountain out of a mole hill but change can be difficult for me – which is ironic given my life and profession. So often my life is a constant vortex of shift and change and evaluation and growth as I navigate my personal and professional world. I am constantly supporting others in the process of change and growth and discovery. I often can’t help but reflect that change into my own life and that’s not even to mention the areas I’m doing my own change and growth work on a continual basis. As a result I work hard at building stability in my life in other ways and sometimes that is accomplished with the little details and the tangible objects. So letting go of the lost water bottle represented a big challenge for me.

DETERMINATION

When I finally accepted that it was time to purchase a new water bottle a very subtle shift occurred for me. I realized that there was an opportunity here. My old water bottle was made of plastic that scientists say have health concerns. I had known this for a while but wasn’t quite ready to let go of it. What I realized was that there was an opportunity to make a new and healthier choice. Not only had I made the decision to accept the change but I’d taken a step up to move forward in the process of change with new ideas, new information and a new sense of ownership.

This was perhaps the most important part of the change process for me. Change can be as simple as making a simple choice between two rather irrelevant options or it can be as complex as shifting behavior patterns or beliefs. In this critical stage of change is an opportunity to make critical shifts. The stage of determination is where we can have the largest impact on our lives. Whenever the opportunity for small change arises we also often have an opportunity to make a large shift in the direction of our choices. Think of it in terms of navigating a plane. At the start of a long flight a directional difference of just a few degrees can result in a final destination hundreds of miles apart!

The ways we choose to engage shift along with change can make the difference between health and happiness in the long run – or not! I chose to make the shift to health and happiness this time.

ACTION

So I did some research and determined what I wanted. A quick trip to the outdoor store and I had exactly what I was looking for – a large, metal, wide-mouthed new water bottle! Emotionally I had reached a place of empowerment. I knew what I wanted and I had acquired it. When I bought the new water bottle I felt really good about the choice I’d made. But my process of accepting change wasn’t over yet.

MAINTENANCE

After just a few days of using the bottle I realized just how clean it was compared to my 3 year old plastic bottle and how much cleaner it was then my other old easy plastic straw water bottle that I used when I was at home. I have been a big water drinker for many years but recently I have had trouble drinking as much water as I was used to largely, I think, due to the taste transfer in the bottles I had been using. So I started using the metal water bottle all the time. Once I switched over my water consumption started to dramatically increase and I felt healthier and more hydrated than I had in months. That was entirely unexpected.

EMOTIONAL SHIFT

A little thing like a different water bottle was affecting my health. A simple choice to switch from a plastic to a metal was having a deep impact on my life. What I began to realize was that while my focus is often on large changes such as healing old relationships, changing my behavior emotional patterns, career shifts, understanding new and powerful differences in using language, etc. I almost never focus on the little details of how my daily life happens. It’s almost as if I’m so acclimated to big change that the little change somehow gets lost in the mix.

The truth for me was that sometimes the most subtle thing in my life can be one of the most important. Maintaining my health is strongly linked to how much water I drink. So although it might seem like something really little it in fact has a huge impact on all of my life. The healthier I am the more active I am. The more active I am the happier I am. The happier I am the more I attract the activities and people I want in my life. So something as simple as how much water I drink could affect my overall happiness if it produced a significant enough change in my body – just like navigating a plane.

Understanding the difference between little and big changes, how challenging or important they were and how they affected me made all the difference. What had seemed like it might be a mountain out of a mole hill was actually a small volcano. Sometimes it is the little things that make for big changes an I had found one of them!

A Passkey To Success

2008-11-24T21:36:00.004-08:00

Have you ever known someone who always seemed to get what they wanted? Maybe it was that guy at work who went from visionary cubicle working stiff to powerful corner office head honcho in a short interval of time. Or your faired haired high school classmate with the glimmer in her eye, who made getting straight A's "and being caption of the womens soccer team look like a cake walk. Their cups always seem to overflow and others marveled at their accomplishments. Never did we hear them complain or worry (out loud for that matter). They always expected the best to happen and it did. Even when bad times fell on them, them always stayed in good spirits and like clockwork everything that they seemed to have lost was restored back and then some. And many onlookers were left wondering how they did it (and how to get their magic potion). Quite simply, the working stiff and the fair haired classmate probably believed they deserved to see their dreams become reality, and that the best that life had to offer was theirs. And, it was not a matter of being connected and knowing the "right" person, there was one defining pattern to these people, it was their attitude. Fortunately this can also be true for all of us.

We all live with an unconscious expectation of ourselves and our own lives. This expectation not only determines what we have in our lives but it also represents what we are willing to settle for. Expectation is a very powerful outlook and one that very few people ever learn to fully cultivate. Whatever you expect with certainty is what you will get in your life. Expectation is the intrinsic place where an idea becomes so real that you feel it even though you can't hold it yet. Expectation is like an invisible magnet that will attract into your life that which you expect. When you expect something you activate and engage those parts of your mind and your nervous system that can empower you to think the unthinkable and do the undoable. Whatever thoughts you constantly feed your mind through out the day, your subconscious mind is taking it in. And it does not discriminate between the good thoughts or the bad thoughts, it takes it all in! What you earn right now is what you expect to earn. The amount of free time you have right now is what you expect to have as free time. The relationships you have are what you expect to have.

When you expect the best it's not like expecting something good or something similar, it is the best and only the best. You have to stop settling for less than you can be or have. On a deep psychological level this is exactly what creates your expectations and that is why a lifetime of settling for less than you can be creates an expectation that is only "O.K.". It becomes the standard that you are willing to settle for.

Great expectations create great results. When you expect the best it will become a directional mechanism that will guide you to seeking out and finding what you expect. The difference between great expectations and weak hopes start out with nothing more than a outlook or mind set; an outlook that can make the difference between living a life of fulfilment and one of desperation and frustration. Create the expectation by making sincere decisions. Nurture your expectations by never settling for anything less than the best. Over time you will no longer want to think negative and self destructing thoughts. You will choose joy, happiness, success, abundance and everything that you wish for yourself.

It is easy to change your expectations. You can do it in an instant. And that can be a menace. As too often, we lower our expectations because that seems easier than overcoming the obstacles which seem to stand in the way of fulfilling those expectations. Are you being forced to lower your expectations or are you choosing the "handy" way out? You must expect the best in order to achieve the best. Yet it takes more than just expectation. It takes commitment and performance. Don't lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself and then do what is necessary to make it a reality

You need no special skills or knowledge to raise your expectations. You simply need a decision that from this point onwards you will never again settle for anything less than you can possible be. The difference between hoping for something with uncertainty and depending on something with expectation is nothing but the way you direct the focus of your mind. What you say to yourself, the images you imagine and your behavior are what you can consciously direct. But, only if you choose to. If not, you will revert back to the autopilot of the masses just going with the flow of "whatever" comes along. The cultural autopilot is the emotional default and only through conscious and consistent nurturing of your desires and inclinations can you live life by your own standards and create the expectations that will lead you to a life of abundance and fulfilment.

In 1968, a study was conducted in San Francisco on teachers of students in grades one through six. Known as the Pygmalion Study, researchers who were involved gave the teachers incorrect information about their students; basically that the students were on the brink of intellectual growth. However, the students were really selected randomly and were not necessarily on the brink of anything. Nonetheless, the teachers believed and expected that the students were capable of great things and this resulted in high scores on IQ tests and other projects. After the study was completed, researchers concluded that the teachers' belief in the students caused the students to experience outstanding intellectual growth. This study is a prime example of belief turning possibilities into reality.

Are you making a living or living your life? To "live" your life implies action--movement--excitement. Unfortunately, today most of us have our calendars so full we have little time to enjoy all the courses in the feast of life. It's important that you value your precious time here on this planet.

Most of us believe that the hand we are dealt in life is what we will always hold. Sure, life is okay but it isn't great; bills need to be paid, the kids are sick, and the bank account never seems to grow. After some time, you believe this is your life and how it will always play out. On the other hand, people who believe they deserve better play a different hand and they never have a poker face when it comes to their expectations.

When you expect only the best, you put yourself in a position of power. First and foremost, you send signals to your subconscious to help you notice and get what you desire (and deserve!).You get a check in the mail or you literally bump into the perfect woman at the coffee shop and she happens to live close by. Great expectations lead to great results.

Like every play, your life has its own story. Learn from the past but don't get caught up in it. You can't change it and you can't expect or anticipate anything that has already taken place! And you don't really know how it's going to end, or even what's coming up next. The best thing you can do is keep up with what's going on and steer it in the direction you would like it to go. The rest will play out as it will.

In the morning, do not get out of bed until you sit back, fluff your pillows and fill yourself with words of loving encouragement and expectation. Ponder the words, let them sink in. Imagine the dreams you have for yourself. And finish by including a short proclamation for your day to be full of wonder, joy and guidance.

Listen to your intuition, for it is your best friend. Ignore your fears for they are definitely not in your best interest. Believe in your dreams for they are your future. Come to expect success in your life and everything you do, because you are constantly preparing for it. Expect the best out of life and you will get it!

Expect the best and the best will come...

Self-improvement: improvement of one's condition through one's own efforts.

2008-11-24T21:36:00.003-08:00

"The only disability in life is a bad attitude." – Scott Hamilton

Attitude is so important. It is probably the most important thing worth talking about in all the self -help material you will come across. Why; because attitude controls your mind which controls everything. It's what makes the difference between a good athlete and a poor one; a successful entrepreneur or a failure; a great artist/musician and a poor one. Hamilton, our author today was no stranger to disability; he was two years old when he contracted a mysterious illness that caused him to stop growing. He was misdiagnosed as having cystic fibrosis and was told by doctors at one point that he had 6 months to live. Diet and exercise cured the problem though Hamilton achieved only a height of 5 feet 2 inches in his life-time. He didn't allow disability to stop him. In 1981 '82 and '83 Scott Hamilton won the gold medal in the World Figure Skating Championships, and won the gold medal at the 1984 Winter Olympics.

But Hamilton is not the only example of men and women overcoming great obstacles in their lives. There is Helen Keller, blind and deaf from a very young age; President Abraham Lincoln who rose from being a bare foot poor boy from Missouri, to becoming a self taught layer who eventually became our 16th President of the United States. The list goes on and on of people defeating the odds against them armed with simply a good attitude. A bad attitude can stop any man or woman's dream.

What is the secret to attaining the great attitude we talk so much about? Art Link letter said it this way: "Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out." That is the magic formula and nothing more or less.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt campaigned from a wheel chair and won the Presidential election in 1933. He served an unprecedented 4 terms in office from 1933-1945 serving as a handicapped person serving through some of the toughest times our country has ever seem seen including the great depression and the 2nd world war.

Hamilton is right when he says the only disability is a bad attitude. A bad attitude can prevent you from getting a job by acting poorly on a job interview, it can break up marriages and drive a person to use street drugs or become chemically Dependant. A bad attitude can keep a beaten house-wife to stay with her brutal husband till he finally beats her to death; it can keep us all imprisoned to our own bonds of self-limitation if we allow it. It makes us all make bad choices in life which leads to nowhere and can make us penniless pawns of society. Having a bad attitude has a bad ending in store for all who choose that road of self indulgence and self pity which is where a bad attitude always leads in the end.

It is best to make the best of your life, what ever the cards are that you were dealt, and put a smile on your face and brave the day, each and every new day. Greet it with a good attitude and watch the difference it makes. Someone once said life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it. That is why having a good attitude is so important. Having a good attitude empowers you and when you are empowered you can empower others you meet. Today give it a try and put on that mask of a good attitude. Yes that’s right, sometimes you will have to fake it till you make but in the long run you will see that having a good attitude will get easier and easier until is comes as second nature to you. Today be empowered and decide to face your day with a good attitude!

8 Tips for Dealing with a Stressful Office Job

2008-11-24T21:36:00.001-08:00

It may surprise you but the main reason why we get stressed isn't that we have "too much to do". For most of us, having too much to do is perfectly fine as long as we know what our priorities are and if we can have a good oerview of our work. Instead, the plague of modern office life is that we have to MANY things to do and that we loose track of it all.

Discover an easy and effective way of managing your work. These simple techniques have been proven time and time again. In essence, the simple secret lies in taking charge of your time.

1. Write it down! I never cease to be amazed by how often stressed out people try to keep all the things they have to do in their heads. Stress is often more about knowing that we have a lot to do but not being able to remember exactly what.

2. Write it ALL down! In order for you to have a to-do list that you can rely on, you must trust that it contains ALL the things you have to do. Otherwise, you will still have a nagging feeling that you may not be focussing on the
right things.

3. Channel interruptions to your to-do list. Interruptions are a part of life so don't let them stress you. 95% of all interruptions are either very quick so that you can deal with them straight away or something that you can defer to a time when YOU decide.

4. Don't let your email inbox become your to-do list. Receiving emails can be great fun. Unfortunately, it is also very easy to confuse your inbox with your to-do list. Try to only scan your email inbox once every hour or two
(If you lack the discipline, you can set your email client to do this).

5. You don't have to do everything! If I had to choose one single reason why people fail with their to-do lists it would have to be that they lack the ability to strike things off it. Things change and so should your to-do list. If you are uncomfortable with deleting tasks, create a "storage" list and move it to that.

6. The Nibble. Let's face it, some tasks are big, vague and truly and utterly boring. We end up postponing these tasks forever and as a result they never leave our to-do list. Eventually, our list is filled with these types of tasks
and finally we decide not to look at the depressing thing. The trick is "The ibble". Break the task down into smaller components. Make sure that the first step is takes less than 5 minutes to do. Then take that first step.

7. Not my time of day - Listen to your own rhythm. Let's face it. Were human, not machines. At times we are productive and at times we are not. I see it as a surfer who times the waves and then rides them to their fullest. Try to find a task management system that let's you monitor your own "waves". You will probably find that you know less about yourself than you think you do.

8. Play! Why oh why do all planners and task managers have to look so professional and at the end of the day, so very very boring? Make your work into a game. Set small targets and reward yourself.

6 Ways To Dramatically Imrprove Your Eye Contact Skills

2008-11-24T21:35:00.003-08:00

Is your eye contact aggressive, is it soft, is it inviting, do you love with your eyes? Eye contact is a very tricky art to master but vital to effective communication. How can you make it better?

Eye contact provides social information to the person you are listening to and talking to. Too much eye contact and you could be seen as aggressive, too little eye contact and you can be seen as having no interest in the person speaking. It is an often overlooked skill to have and an under utilised skill when communicating with people. You can see masters of eye contact in great sales persons, politicians, and good public speakers.

I realised the importance of eye contact when I was counseling people face to face. I noticed when I broke eye contact the person would stop speaking. When I maintained eye contact the person would continue talking knowing that I was interested in what they had to say.
Physiological signs of eye contact

Street traders know the importance of the eyes when using their selling skills to keep their potential buyers interested. When you are aroused or interested in an object your pupils will dilate and this is a big cue for salesmen all over the world.

Also when you are interested in someone sexually your pupils will dilate and you hold the person’s gaze a little longer than normal. When I was single I always knew when a girl was interested in me through her eyes, now that I am married if I get the same signs I discourage eye contact.
Every day conversation and eye contact

We will use eye contact every day of our lives so it makes sense to learn the best ways to use your eyes to your advantage.

Certain situations demand different uses of the eyes. For example if your are arguing it is seen as strong if you can hold your gaze. If you are deferring to someone it is better to lower your eyes, if you are loving someone it is good to stare into the pool of the eyes.
6 Ways to improve your eye contact skills

1. Talking to a group - When talking to a group of people it is great to have direct contact with your listeners. However you contact maintain eye contact with just one person as this will stop the other members of the group from listening. To get past this, focus on a different member of the group with every new sentence. This way you are talking to all of the group and keeping them all interested.

2. Talking to an individual - It is great to maintain eye contact when talking to a person however it can become a bit creepy and uncomfortable if you stare intensely at them. To combat this, break eye contact every 5 seconds or so. When breaking the eye contact don’t look down as this might indicate the ending of your part of the conversation. Instead, look up or to the side as if your are remembering something. Try it just now: don’t move your head, and think about the first time you started school. You will notice your eyes might move up or to the side as you try to remember this. So when your listener sees this they will think you are trying to remember something and keep on listening to you.

3. Listening to someone – When you are listening to someone it can be off putting for the talker if you stare at them too hard. The technique I use when I am counseling someone is to use what I call ‘The triangle’. This is when I look at one eye for about 5 seconds, look at the other eye for 5 seconds and then look at the mouth for 5 seconds and keep on rotating in this way. This technique coupled with other listening skills such as nodding, occasional agreement words such as ‘yes’, ‘Uh –huh’ ‘mm’ etc is a great way to keep the talker talking and to show them you are interested in what they are saying.

4. Arguing – Arguing with someone is a skill in itself and if you want to compete in an argument holding the gaze shows strength. If you look away when arguing with someone you have all but lost the argument. Obviously this depends on who you are arguing with but in general it is better to hold the gaze whilst you are making your point and also when you are listening to the other person. We have all come across the person who is great at arguing and making you feel small, you will notice that everyone who is like this try to stare you out. Stare back, it will surprise them, piss them off and put them off what they are trying to say. Staying silent and staring at someone who is trying to rile you is also an affective way to win an argument without saying a word.

5. Attracting someone – When you are trying to attract someone and show them you are interested you can talk and listen with your eyes. When a person you like is speaking use the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the appropriate places. If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes. Smiling when listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them, obviously don’t smile when they have just told you their pet died last night. You have to listen with your ears as well as listening with your eyes (yes I did mean listening with your eyes, you listen to someone’s body language with your eyes).

6. Loving someone – My wife and I often share a prolonged gaze into each others eyes and it is a very special thing to just stare without talking. My wife’s pupils will dilate and she can my pupils dilating. It creates a strong bond between us. To make your pupils dilate even more you can try this: as you are staring at your partner imagine yourself going inside their body and your two souls making love. You are trying to touch their very soul. This will release adrenalin and make your pupils dilate even more.

60 Quality Hypnosis Scripts

2008-11-24T21:35:00.001-08:00

What gives you faith in a product that you are purchasing? Is it about the presentation for you, or perhaps you prefer to have a recommendation so that you are assured of the quality by someone else? For me, a product has to be accessible and it has to do or provide the service that I require of it. I remember when my dad was boasting about a satellite navigation system which he had purchased on eBay for a very cheap price. He told me to get myself one, however when I looked up the product code he had given me, instead of being a satellite navigation system, it was in fact an eBook, with details of police auctions where you might potentially be able to buy a satellite navigation system.

Obviously, he had only scanned the product, and hadn’t taken in all of the relevant information (i.e. it wasn’t actually a satellite navigation system.) From the picture, it looked like what he was looking for, and from the description he skipped through, it sounded like what he was looking for, it also met his requirements in price- however, it wasn’t what he needed or wanted. He ended up wasting his money on something that had little or no value to him, when he truthfully could have used that money to put toward the product that he actually required.

When I first became a hypnotherapist, I wanted to find a website with good quality, cheap easily accessible hypnosis scripts. The good news is there were loads of websites listed in the search engines that claim to have hypnosis scripts on them. Most of them did, some of them didn’t. Some of them were simply links to other sites that might have scripts listed on them. One of the major most promising looking sites had loads of scripts listed on it, however I only needed one particular script and the deal there was that you had to sign up for monthly membership that would give access to all of their scripts. I had a problem with this because firstly I didn’t, as a new business want to increase my monthly outgoings unnecessarily for the sake of obtaining one hypnosis script that I required, secondly, I didn’t know who had written the scripts, if they were qualified hypnotherapists themselves or if they would be any good.

This was when I decided to start writing scripts of my own. As a qualified Hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner, I knew how to design my scripts so that they would be the most appealing to the subconscious mind of the client. I wrote them to include many different known hypnotic and language patterns with lots of embedded commands of the things you actually want the patients to do, also with metaphors and suggestions with hidden meanings.

Before I know it, I had written over 60 quality scripts, and now I would like to share them with you. There is a vast range, and you only pay for what you want, unless that it, you want the lot- in which case, you pay for the lot in one payment and receive them all in one go in the form of an e-book. Or if you want to download them as audio MP3’s you also have that option too. So they look like what you want, they sound great and the price is more than reasonable.

5 Tips To Improve Your Mood Instantly

2008-11-24T21:33:00.000-08:00

Happiness is a feeling of pleasure or contentment, but it often seems as though the stress of everyday life has a way of taking over. If you want to put the tension behind you, you will be glad to know that you can improve your mood in minutes. Below are five tips to instant happiness that will, no doubt, have you smiling:

Give in to your sweet tooth. Studies have shown that chocolate is linked to both happiness and stress reduction. When enjoyed in moderation, this sweet treat may be something to smile about. Afterall, having a bite of the food that you crave is instant happiness in it’s own right.

Get moving. Experts have long believed that there is a direct link to exercise and stress reduction. A simple 30-minute walk may help you to relax and, not to mention, feel great about yourself and the goal of better health.

Be good to yourself. It’s always a good time to treat yourself to something special, but it’s even more important to do so if you are feeling blue. This doesn’t mean that you need to go on a lavish vacation or purchase a new sports car, but perhaps a relaxing evening at home or a night out with some friends is just what the doctor ordered. If you feel like shopping, limit your budget to $50.00 and buy something that makes you feel happy. Keep in mind that impulse shopping to ease emotional pain is not a good idea, but treating yourself to an occasional pick-me-up is an entirely different story.

Go with the flow. It’s a well-known fact that water is calming, which is why many people choose to have water features in their home. Whether it’s a tabletop fountain or a more dramatic feature, the relaxing nature of flowing water is widely promoted. Instant relaxation, in itself, is a form of happiness.

Use your good scents. Specifically, a scented candle may help to improve your mood. This is especially true if you are using a scent that’s known to be relaxing, such as lavender or vanilla.

The information contained in this article is designed to be used for reference purposes only. It should not be used as, in place of or in conjunction with professional advice relating to the treatment of stress or depression. For additional information, consult a physician in your area.

4 Steps To Overcoming Self-sabotaging Behaviors

2008-11-24T21:32:00.000-08:00

Self-sabotaging behaviors prevent you from conditioning yourself for success. And changing those long, established behavior patterns like self-sabotage is as difficult as recognizing and understanding them.

How, then, can you eliminate sabotaging beliefs and emotions? First, understand and accept yourself before attempting to understand and accept others. You have to take a journey within for personal evaluation. This means looking inside yourself and listening to your inner dialogue or self-talk. Remain open minded to what you see and hear when understanding your beliefs. This is essential when making constructive changes in your behaviors. Deciding how far and deep you want to go before introspection is your decision. However, you can take your life to a new level when you discover empowering insights to eliminate damaging self-talk and undermining behaviors.

Deciding to let go of self-sabotaging behaviors that prevent you from changing takes courage and a personal commitment to develop more effective actions. Before you go around believing you can change the beliefs and behavior of others, you have to first change yourself. This means overcoming resistances and sabotaging behaviors that have prevented you from experiencing an optimistic attitude. No matter what obstacles you face, developing an optimistic attitude, and changing unrewarding behaviors and beliefs, will awaken you to eliminate self-sabotaging behaviors.

What specific actions can you now take to become aware of and overcome your sabotaging beliefs and self-defeating emotions?

1. Recognize that you are at the crossroads where your decisions and choices are yours and yours alone.

2. realize that you’re the one making the conscious decision to change your damaging self talk and undermining beliefs and behaviors. No one else can do it for you.

3. Change “I can’t” or “I won’t” to “I Can, I Will” on a consistent basis. Pay attention to the emotional changes going on within you. Be prepared to physically describe your changes and write them down. Repeat the process of writing down your changing feelings and behaviors and compare your notes every day. Measure your progress by the visible reoccurrences of positive self-talk and healthy behaviors. Continual negative self-talk will create resentments and disempowering beliefs. Self-resentment is the seed that grows into self-sabotaging behaviors.

4. Plant the seeds that produce positive, empowering beliefs and actions. Ask yourself, “Are my actions linked to pleasure-producing situations or to pain-producing situations?” Take the road that gives you pleasure, not grief. The personal growth experienced from facing a fearful or painful event, or adversity, is important for self-improvement. However, don’t make a steady diet of it. You can grow and change by cultivating positive emotions such as joy, excitement, and happiness.

Non-traditional Students and Traditional Time Management Tips

2008-11-19T22:47:00.001-08:00

Until circa 1960, if you visit major universities in the country, you will see students who are male, young, white, and full-time and come from a middle-class family. These students are what universities and colleges identify as traditional students.

During that time there was not much notion of students who work in part-time jobs to support their college education. College students with learning disabilities were also virtually invisible, even non-existent, then.

As our society continuously evolves, the predominance of traditional students in University student bodies experiences some changes. Somehow, due to the accommodation of more immigrants who have adopted our country as their own, the student body summaries for college institutions saw a distinct shift from having a population of traditional students into non-traditional ones.

Over the last several decades, student population now consists of those who are older, women, Asian/Hispanic, and are part-time. Meanwhile, traditional students as described slowly decrease in population. These are based factually from annual summary reports of the Chronicle of Higher Education on students at two-year and four-year colleges.

Non-traditional students are mostly women enlightened with their gender having equal opportunities in society today. They are not anymore teenagers fresh from high school. Some are already housewives who come back in school for a college education degree.

There are all kinds of reasons for adults to come back to school. They may have taken up a college education to guarantee promotion in their jobs. Various assistance programs to grant others with the opportunity to gain a college education within a given time limit.

The college institution faculty now confronts quite an interesting mixture of students, more diverse in age, gender, ethnicity and academic exclusivity in their lives. The notion of “traditional” students becomes quite uncommon and unusual. Ideas and tips for effective time management of these non-traditional students are emphasized.

It is a great challenge for Universities and Colleges to accommodate these non-traditional students. These students apparently have other responsibilities, aside from fulfilling their projects and attending study lectures.

Breaking down their time for responsibilities to their family, their part-time or full-time jobs, their academic and non-academic activities, could daunt those who are not very much motivated. It is quite a good point that these non-traditional college students are highly motivated.

Still, it is up to the Universities and college institutions to assist them in coming up with proper time management methods and strategies so that they will not neglect their college education.

Universities and college institutions must let these non-traditional students feel that they are not alone in their endeavors. It is important to let them know that their goals are obtainable, and that they can make significant changes in their lives if they really go the extra mile for it.

Aside from assisting them in achieving confidence, determination, and encouragement to persevere, they must also know of properly setting up a time management program for themselves.

There is an extensive list of ideas and time management tips for college students, in general. However, non-traditional students are the ones who need most of these ideas. Here are several of them:

1. Do not fall over the Parkinson’s Law trap. Plan the length of time needed to successfully accomplish or complete a certain task. If it can be finished ahead of time, then it is much better.

2. The Pareto Principle or the 80/20 rule of getting 80% of the results from 20% of the work” is a good method to apply in accomplishing a certain task and getting the most out of the time.

3. No one is perfect so do not strive achieve perfection. It can be a waste of time to go back again and again just to perfect something. A job or task must be considered “finished” and it is time to move on to something else.

4. Do important task during the time of day when personal productivity is high.

5. Spend the night before getting ready for the next day.

6. Do not tolerate procrastination. Plan and divide time with efficiency without giving space for long terms of idleness or inactivity.

7. Do not skip classes just to do another activity or task

8. For every hour of a lecture, schedule two hours to review it.

9. Identify a place which ambiance work well in inspiring work and creativity

10. Tougher assignments or tasks need to be discussed first

11. Do not or if not, stop being a blockhead Blockheads as other people are wont to do.

12. There is a need to stop an activity when you have reached the end of the scheduled time limit and move on to the next task at hand.

13. Check out the time available for a certain task or project. For large projects, break it up into smaller assignments to become more attainable and less daunting.

14. Give importance to major course classes

15. Have a list of things to accomplish for a day, a week, a month, even a whole semester and check each one off once completed or achieved.

16. Set a schedule for exercise and relaxation. Remember, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

17. Be an expert in carrying out small and simple tasks during intervals or lull in activities.

Non-traditional college students are flexible and experienced people. They can motivate themselves to excel, as long as they are guided by a good time management skill.

Must-have time management tips for college students

2008-11-19T22:46:00.003-08:00

In college, do not feel left out if you are unable to manage your time effectively. You are not alone. Majority of college students are having the same time management problems as you. You just do not know it.

Now that you are aware that time management is one of the most common problems being encountered by most college students, you probably would want to do something about it. Why? Because you do not want to be one of those who have not managed their time and found themselves not reaching their goals.

How do you go about having successful time management?

All you need to do is reorganize how you approach your daily activities and change those that are not working effectively. The changes you have made should become a habit that needed to be done everyday.

You will see that you new habits can change your outlook in life. And if done correctly, you will have more personal time to do other things and activities in college that you have not done before. You will also gain more free time to enjoy.

Time management for college student will help you be more productive in anticipation of what lays ahead of you after college. This early you have to learn these things because they will prove to be very vital for you.

When you set off to working after you degree, your life will take on a new turn. Many of the employers who will encounter will pressure you to exert full time effort on your job. If you are just a beginner in this aspect, you will find yourself giving in to the hard work and pressure.

But if you have already learned time management skills as a college student, this would be a piece of cake to you. You will be more immune to the pressure put on you. You will know you way around it to come out successfully.

Below are some of the time-tested tips that will prove vital to your time management skills.

Have an organizer.

Nothing like having an organizer to list things that are needed to be done. Get a hold of one and start planning your schedule. Do not go overboard. Be realistic in listing out things to do.

Have a short and long-term goals set up.

In college, these goals would be just be term papers and other deadlines you need to meet. Take note of what will take your time more and what will not. You would want to start out early enough to prevent cramming when deadlines are nearly up.

Take note also of what will you need to achieve your tasks. Have you own planner and put all these important details there. You may want to update them regularly to see how far you are going. You can cross out what are finished.

Have difficult subjects studied first.

College subjects are not the same. Some are more difficult than others. You may find some of these are easier for you while you are having a difficult on another.

Try to give more time in studying the ones you find difficult. Unlike the easier subjects, you will need more time in catching up on things and understanding those subjects more.

Have a break.

There will be times when you need to get off your study table and relax for awhile. Go out and get some fresh air. Unwind with friends.

Studying too hard is not also healthy for a person. You have to have enough time to set aside studies to relax your mind from the pressure and stress. You will notice that once you get back to studying, you will have a clearer and fresh mind ready to tackle anything.

Have the time to help others.

If you find yourself in difficult situations, it is always a blessing when someone helps you get past that. Do your share and help others.

Oftentimes, these are times when you get to share ideas about college and about studying. Be open to all possibilities that are being presented to you.

For college student, time management need not be a difficult task. You just have to know how to manipulate time and be its master, not the other way around.

How to Teach Your Children About Time Management

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Are you a parent who is interested in teaching your children the importance of time management? If you are, good for you. Time management is a skill that all children should learn, as it may have a significant impact on their future. Unfortunately, many parents do not take the time to teach their children the importance of proper time use. In fact, some parents don’t even realize the importance of time management themselves.

Despite the fact that you are certain that you want to teach your child the importance of time management and ways that they can manage their time, you may be unsure as to how you can go about doing so. The approach that you decide to take should depend on your child’s age. Please continue reading on for a few helpful tips.

For toddlers and preschoolers, you can use a timer, like a kitchen timer. This is a fun approach to take, as you are essentially creating your own time management game. What you can do is time your child while they complete an easy task. These tasks can be anything from cleaning their room, getting ready for bed, getting washed up for dinner, and so froth. Just make sure that you set a timer with enough time for your child to reasonably do what you are asking of them.

With toddlers and preschoolers, it is important to remember that your child is still young. It isn’t always a good idea to discipline them for taking longer than you expected them to take. Just be sure that you talk to your child about picking up their speed and give them easy to understand tips on how they can go about doing so. At this age, be sure to reward your child for beating the time. This reward can be a simple praise, a hug, or a sticker.

As for elementary school aged children, a timer can still be used, but some children do tend to outgrow this approach. Just be sure to talk to your children about time management, its importance, and the consequences for regularly being late. At around the age of eight or so, children are better able to understand what happens when they don’t make proper use of their time.

For teenagers, it is important to talk to your child. You will also want to set a good example. Depending on the circumstances at hand, it may also be a good idea to discipline your child. This is actually important to do with schooling. For example, if your teenager isn’t able to get their homework done or if they don’t study for a test, they may end up with bad grades. After a few warnings, consider limiting the amount of time that your teenager is able to spend with their friends or the amount of television they are able to watch. Doing this, even just temporarily, is likely to teach your teenager an important lesson about time management and the elimination of distractions.

In keeping with teaching a teenager the importance of time management, it is important to not just take away privileges, but to also provide education. Make sure that your teenager understands the importance of time management. In college, your child will be responsible for studying, doing their homework, and other important tasks and they will not have you there to help guide them. The same will be true for the workplace. Unfortunately, this is where many young adults run into problems. Don’t let your son or daughter fall victim to poor time management.

As you can see, there are a number of easy ways that you can go about teaching your child the importance of time management, as well as tips that you can share with them. Regardless of your children’s ages, the lesson of managing time is one that should be taught. In fact, the sooner that you start teaching your children how to properly manage their time, the better the results will likely be in the long run.

Tips for Effective Time Management

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Some students always think that there is never enough time in the day to get everything done. They feel like they are always running late. These students try to keep themselves sane when they are overloaded with courses, research, teaching, and a life.

A great solution for this problem is by the use of time management techniques to get organized. Time management simply involves considering your obligations and making choices about how to use your time. Scheduling and managing time wisely are important for a student.

If you miss important appointments and deadline it will likely cause further complication to both your academic and social life

This causes anxiety, frustration, guilt, and other nasty feelings.
This is not going to tell you to study more and socialize less, although in some cases you might want to think about it.

Instead, it will suggest how to make the most of your time and personalize it to fit your tastes and activities.

Review you notes everyday. You will reinforce what you have learned, so you need less time to study. You will also be ready if your teacher calls on you or gives a pop quiz.

Use a school planner or calendar with plenty of space to record assignments, lists, and appointments. Put things that are most important at the top and do them first.

If it is easier, use a planner to track all of your tasks. Do not forget to reward yourself for your accomplishments.

It is ok to say “No.” For example, an acquaintance of yours would like you to see a movie with him tonight. You made social plans for tomorrow with your friends and tonight you were going to study and do laundry. You really are not interested.

You want to say no, but you hate turning people down. Politely saying no should become a habit. Saying no frees up time for the things that are most important.

If your boss asks you to work on a Thursday night and you have to take final examinations the next morning, make sure to say a polite refusal. Keep your short- and long-term priorities in mind.

Get a good rest. Running on empty makes the day seems longer and your tasks seem more difficult. Sleeping right will make you healthy and will help you to be energized for the day.

Communicate your schedules to others. If phone calls are proving to be a distraction, tell your friends that you take social calls from 7:00 to 8:00 p.m. It may sound silly, but it helps.

Do not waste time agonizing. Have you ever wasted an entire evening by worrying about something that you are supposed to be doing? Was it worth it? Instead of agonizing and procrastinating, just do it.

You do not have to be a perfectionist. Trying to be a perfect person sets you up for defeat. Nobody can be perfect. Difficult tasks usually result in avoidance and procrastination.

You need to set achievable goals, but they should also be challenging. There will always be people both weaker and stronger than you will.

Learn to prioritize. Prioritizing your responsibilities and engagements is very important. Some people do not know how to prioritize and become procrastinators. A "to do list" places items in order of importance. One method is the ABC list.

This list is divided into three sections - a, b, or c. The items placed in the A section are those needed to be done that day. The items placed in the B section need completion within the week. The C-section items are those things that need to be done within the month.

As the B, C items become more pertinent they are bumped up to the A or B list. Try it or come up with your own method, but do it. Take the "big-picture" approach.

Look over all that you need to complete and decide what is most important. Which assignment is due first? Which is the most difficult?

Combine several activities. Another suggestion is to combine several activities into one time spot. While commuting to school, listen to taped notes.

This allows up to an hour or two a day of good study review. Make a mental list of the things that need to be done. When you watch a sit-com, laugh as you pay your bills.

These are just suggestions of what you can do to combine your time, but there are many others, above all be creative, and let it work for you.

Break large assignments and tasks into their component parts. For example, break a term paper into many smaller and more manageable tasks such as finding a topic, conducting literature searches, gathering articles and books, reading and taking notes, writing an outline, writing the first draft, and revising.

Make a list of all tasks required to complete a major assignment. You will find that crossing items off the list is quite rewarding!

Go with your flow. In here, you should think about the biological peaks of yourself and your lows.

For example, think if you are a morning person or you are at your best at night. You should plan the day accordingly. It is better to save the difficult tasks for the times when you are at your best.

Make use of wasted time. Have you ever noticed how much time you spend commuting, standing in lines, and waiting (for doctors, advisors, etc.)? Carry pocket work to make use of that time that would otherwise be wasted.

Carry a short reading assignment or flash cards for studying. Alternatively, use the time to write in your planner and organize yourself. Ten minutes here, fifteen minutes later, it all adds up and you will find that you can be more done.

After scheduling becomes a habit, then you can adjust it. It is better to be precise at first. Pull some strings and be strict with your time management.

It is easier to find something to do with extra time then to find extra time to do something. Most importantly, make it work for you. A time schedule that is not personalized and honest is not a time schedule at all.

Things that Students Should Know About Time Management

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Students in different schools are faced with challenges. They are faced with challenges that test their potential and capabilities to the maximum.

In order for the students to face all these challenges, they must acquire the skills needed that will make things easier for them. These will ensure that they do not succumb to defeat once the going gets tough. One of the most important skills they should learn is time management.

Proper time management is the ability to manage time successfully. It includes prioritization, scheduling and setting of goals, organization and utilization of things available, avoidance, decision making, knowledge and many others. Time management is quite hard to do because it entails proper preparations and adjustment.

Effective and proper time management of students offers and provides benefits. The following are some of the benefits they can get from time management.

• Students practicing effective and proper time management can get more of quality time. There are things that students set aside as unimportant in order to make the most of their time. But they do not know that these are vital things. Take eating, for example.

Eating is a significant part of everyone. People need to eat properly and on time to maintain their strength. It is part of the total time spending. With effective and proper time management, you can learn how to organize your time effectively so that you get to enjoy your meals in their proper time.

• Not setting tasks for later. The undone things that you think you should be doing or should have done gives you burden because of the subconscious guilt. Incorporating proper and effective time management teaches you overcome procrastination and it also teaches you how to prioritize things.

You will feel more confident when you know that there are no unfinished task burdening you while you are doing other things. You can work better and achieve more once your conscience is clear of worries.

• Students with effective and proper time management have less frustrations. Effective planning and organization techniques are aspects of time management. This will ensure that you will not face anymore frustrating situations. Overcoming frustration makes it easier to release the full power of creativity and productivity of a person.

• Time management increases your energy level. Many of your undone things circulates in your mind. The tendency is for you to think about them when you could have been doing your other tasks. Proper and effective time management teaches you how to be organized and how to unclutter your mind from the energy drains of unhandled things or the so- called ‘unfinished businesses’. With this, you can have and experience a higher energy level that you have never experienced.

• With effective and proper time management, you can get a sense of achievement and piece of mind. If you are not sure if where you are going, you will feel anxiety and dissatisfactions. One aspect of effective and proper time management is setting goals smartly. This technique teaches and helps you realize where you are going and to see the optimal path that you want. And these gives you piece of mind and sense of achievement.

Before you can feel the benefits of effective and proper time management, you should practice effective and proper time management first. The following are some of the things that should be done in time management.

1. Set your goals. You should determine exactly the things that you really want to accomplish. Set goals that achievable and realistic.

2. Know when you are most productive. Knowing the time you are most productive attacks you to do more things and exert more effort.

3. Avoid procrastination. Make use of your time wisely and effectively. Remember the saying ‘time is gold’.

4. Know how to organize. Knowledge on proper organization help you achieve and attain the goals you have set in a timely manner.

5. Know how to prioritize. Prioritization of things is very important. It is the key to effective time management.

Students’ dedication in practicing time management is also important. Without dedication, all their time management skills will result to nothing. It is as if they never had them in the first place.

Important Things to Remember with Time Management for College

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To all college students, one of the main differences of high school students from them is the eagerness to successfully handle their own time. If you start educating yourself with time management, you have a great advantage over other college students.

Parents are not always there to discipline you about being on time and the responsibilities of keeping a schedule. They are not at all times available to scold when you are about to go to school late.

Remember, college students are not locked up in a room (detention, remember?) when they are late in class. Actually, there are professors who do not even notice if you are present on their class or not.

There are many social events that are happening in college that students do to fill up their calendar making them sometimes forget their academic responsibilities. This is a period in our lives that we can live as adults but sometimes forget to remember that adults have responsibilities to think about.

Obviously, your fresh liberty can be very costly, with failing marks and running expensive college costs keeping you from achieving your ambitions.

Time management for college students is what you need. It is one of the most important moves in a successful preparation to lead a better existence after college. It is necessary to organize one’s time properly and the only plan is not to be an incompetent and a perplexed person while in college.

Time management is not only necessary just to create a good name at a future job, but it is as well a requirement for a disciplined and orderly future.

The answer to successful time management is by being able to become your self’s supervisor. Instead of being dependent on your professors and parents, you have to become independent from now on.

One of the main obstructions to time management is deciding to delay or postpone important things for trivial matters. But, the simplest means to prevent delay is to being able to determine what you want and what you want to accomplish each day.

• Keep your lasting objectives within your reach.

Make a plan to reach your objectives. You know where you are. You think of the possible ways that you can use to take you to your destination.

• List all the things that you know

Use a timetable to record your class schedules, social activities, and pastimes. When a future event is postponed or is reset for the next month, put it in a blank space in your timetable.

• Decide the things you want to do tomorrow before the day ends.

You can use a to-do record for your everyday activities. Set the planned activities into their proper time and consider the rest of record.

• Make your plan work

Sometimes, it is simpler to finish a work and directly deal with what we believe is a disruption. Still, there are times disruption progresses into rich clients. Follow your plan. If some things require your consideration, put it into your timetable or if you think it is an emergency and needs urgent attention, ensure you reschedule your present task.

• Do the things that seems to be difficult for you

Once the difficult task is done, the rest of your task will seem easier for you. But, if the difficult task is the one that stops you from starting, then begin with something simpler to encourage yourself that you can do it afterwards.

• Break things down to the unreasonable

Separating big homework into tiny parts will make it simpler to include them into your timetable. Also, you can pick your achievements as you complete each stage. It is more pleasing to think about what you have finished successfully than it is to worry over the things left for you to finish.

• Rules were made to be changed

Give yourself time to become flexible. Allow yourself to deal with disruptions in your timetable. Also, designate time to do the task, make some time to enjoy yourself as well. Plan for leisure activities and think of them as essential ingredients of your day it can provide you with something to work on and study seriously and with priorities.

• Keep in mind, tomorrow is always there to welcome you

Like other skills and abilities, it takes time to know how to correctly handle your time. Even the most proficient in time management has days when they do not properly meet their scheduled plans.

If you have failed once, it is not a reason for you to give up on time management. What you can do is to collect the pieces and begin a new schedule the following day.

Check your timetable at the end of the week to know the things that work for you and did not work.

Just make sure to follow your timetable always to have a great time management in each day of your college life.

How to Find Time Management Games

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Are you looking for a fun and exciting way to make better use of your time? If you regularly find yourself late for meetings or missing important deadlines, you may need to improve your time management. Although the playing of games isn’t always associated with putting your time to good use, it can be.

As great as it is to hear that time management games can help you learn how to make better use of your time, you may be curious as to what they are. Time management games are like most traditional games. The only difference is that you have a limited amount of time to finish the game. For example, a popular time management games is that of Tetris. With this game, blocks fall from the top of the screen and you must align them in the proper way until the screen fills up with blocks.

As for why you should play time management games, there are a number of reasons why. For starters, most time management games are fun to play. In fact, that is why some individuals deem them a waste of time because may say that learning how to manage your time should be work, not fun, but that doesn’t have to the be the case.

Another reason why you should play time management games is because they can help you learn how to quickly think on your feet. This can help you with a number of different situations, including emergencies. In fact, stressful and unexpected situations are where many individuals waste the most time.

If you are interested in using time management games to your advantage, you will first want to check your computer. If your computer comes preloaded with games, which many modern computers now do, you may have free time management games already installed on your computer. Just look for games that have set deadlines for you meet. Even games with trial periods are nice, as they can help you save money incase you don’t end up liking the game in question.

The internet is another great way to go about finding time management games to find and play. In fact, many time management games can be found online free of charge. With that said, there are some gaming websites that you charge you a fee, but you may first want to find free online time management games. Playing games online is nice, as there are no software programs that you have to install on your computer. These online games can easily be found with a standard internet search.

Speaking of performing a standard internet search, you may want to search with the phrase “free time management games.” You can also find online gaming websites. These are websites that list all sorts of games for you to pay. You can browse through the games yourself to find the time management games that you like the most. Finding time management games on your own can take a little bit of time, but you never know what other fun and exciting things you can find in the process.

In addition to games that you can find online or games that are already installed on your computer, you can also buy software for your own time management games. When you do so, you should receive a CD and an instruction booklet. Whether you buy these items in one of your local retail stores or online, the CD will need to be placed in your computer and then installed. Since you are buying a software program, as opposed to finding free games online, be sure to read reviews or examine trails first. This will help to make sure that your money is well spent.

Since you now know how you can go about finding time management games to play online and to buy, you should give them a try. As a reminder, there are a number of benefits to playing time management games. The best being the ability to quickly think on your feet.

Helpful Time Management Tools

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Would you like to improve your time management? If you find yourself easily distracted, missing important deadlines, or showing up to important events late, improving your time management may be a good idea. Unfortunately, many individuals do not realize just how much trouble poor time management can cause them.

When it comes to improving time management, many individuals are surprised with all of the options that they have. One of those options is using time management tools to your advantage. If this sounds like an approach that you would like to take, please continue reading on. A number of helpful and successful time management tools that you can benefit from using are outlined below for your convenience.

An alarm clock is a simple, yet effective time management tool that you can and should use. What is nice about alarm clocks, is that most of us already have them in our homes. Be sure to set your alarm clock to get up in the morning. Consider resetting it five minutes before you must walk out to door to work, set it for when you want to start preparing dinner, and so forth. Although we often associate alarm clocks with getting up in the morning, they can actually be used for so much more.

A task list, also commonly referred to as a to do list, is another time management tool that you can and should use to your advantage. What nice about task lists is that they are free and easy to do. All you need is a piece of a paper and pencil. Outlining everything that you must do for the day is a great way to make sure that you stay focused and on task, which is an important component of managing your time. If you must, keep separate lists for home and work.

Daily, weekly, and monthly planners are other time management tools that can be used. The type of planner that you will use will all depend on your own personal preferences. With that said, many individuals prefer daily planners better, as they often leave more space to create a to do list or at least a spot to write down important dates and times. If you do use a daily, weekly, or monthly planner, be sure to keep it with you at all times.

Calendar alert programs are other time management tools that come highly rated and recommended. Calendar alert programs are so much more than just a traditional wall calendar. For the most part, these time management alert tools are found on computers and cell phones. What you will need to do is enter in an important date and time. When that date and time arrives, you should receive a message on your computer screen or cell phone screen. Text message and emails may also be sent. These types of programs are often used to remember birthdays, but they can be used on a wide range of other events, projects, and activities.

Finally, another tool that you will want to consider using is that of a time management training seminar. In addition to attending a physical class, you may be able to purchase a seminar in video format. Although some individuals do not consider receiving training a tool, it is an important tool. There are professionals out there who can share time management tips with you, as well as help you improve your organizational skills.

Tips for an Effective Time Management Skill for a College Student

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Have you ever wondered why you are cramming every time your final examination is nearing? Your choir group is having a practice on Friday afternoon and at the same time, you and your classmates will have a group study at the same day.

What will you prioritize? Difficult, but it is the reality among college students today.

Time management is a vital factor in fulfilling a successful college career. It is a well-known fact that college life is full of surprises—tons of homework and projects, almost endless examinations, and other things with regard to studying.

If do not use effective time management skills, you will have quite a hard time organizing different appointments and commitments.

Unlike in your high school classes before that you are dealing with the same subject matter every day, most college classes do not meet on a daily basis.

There will be times that your next class is due for another 2 to 3 hours, so you still have time to play a game of Frisbee. If you have habits like that, always watch out for the time, or else your college life will end up sooner than you have expected.

Here are the following tips to help you maximize the use of your time dealing with different activities and at the same time minimize your stress level.

Tip No.1: Use a time chart.

In time management, time chart is always recommended. It helps to find the best time for different types of activities you will engage in. College students have a unique time management challenge in particular portions of their schedule that are fixed and with lots of free time in between.

It will help you to add some additional structure to your schedule based on the times that you think is best suited for different activities.

For instance, you can set studying some mathematical and design problems during your free time in between two light subjects. Not only you have managed your activities, you are also keeping your mind away from possible stress that you may acquire.

It also adds more balance to your schedule. Some students focus too much on studying and forgetting other types of activities like sports, recreation, and social events.

Tip No.2: Prioritize

Prioritizing is one of the most common time management problems. Deciding what activities must be done first or second is difficult, especially when all of these activities are all you priorities.

It is essential for college students to select and prioritize the activities they want to spend their time with.

In case that you cannot figure out which must be prioritized, here are the guides that you can refer to. Knowing your priorities will help you fix your schedule much better.

• Reward: Ask yourself what things give you the greatest joy. As you sort through your personal priorities, look on the aspect of personal fulfillment.

You will find that there is satisfaction in doing what you are gifted. In other words, do the things that you think will give you something good in the end.

• Requirement: When you feel plagued by obligations, all you have to do is to stop first and try to sort out your "must dos" from your "choose to dos”.

It is a well-known fact that you have obligations. Certainly, you are not asked to perform all the obligations in this world. Ask yourself what are the things that you are required to do.

• Results: When sorting your priorities, ask yourself if what things that gives you favorable results in return. Spend most of your time working in things of your greatest strength.

You will not waste your time and effort in doing something that you know will not give you the favorable result that you want.

College is a great time to have experiment with new things. Setting priorities will help you balance these new experiences with focus for the things that really matter to you.

Tip No.3: Be careful with over-commitment and attempting to do too much.

Exerting too much effort on a certain activity can lead to excessive stress, pressure, and eventual burnout. Remember that when you take on something, you are declining everything else that you could have done with that time.

Tip no.4: Write things down.

The habit of writing things down using an effective time management system will help you remember even the smallest detail of your activity especially during your classes.

Avoid memorizing. Our brain is just like a recordable compact disc wherein a new recording will erase everything previously recorded.

Enjoy your college life. Use your time management skills and get rid of messy schedules.

Calendar Time Management for Working Students

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At last you are now in college! Only a few more years and the career you have been dreaming to achieve for years is already within your grasp.

However, the path is not easy and wreath with beds of roses. Lack of financial means to pay for your tuition, books and other necessary expenses can be an aspect to make your college student life miserable. Of course, you can get a part time job to and support yourself, but it will be precious time away from your studies.

You need accomplish also other college activities in successfully finishing your course. Notwithstanding old and new friends which will surely invite you to social events.

Well then, you need to hone up your time management skills and draw up a time management calendar. Having a Calendar of your activities will help you get through the difficulty of balancing your time between study and work, extra-curricular and social activities with friends.

More and more State Universities and Community Colleges are aware of the fact that college students have to work in order to survive and finance their college education. Because of this insight, these schools adjust their class schedules to meet every student’s needs.

However, administrators and advisors in the office find a hard time of scheduling and managing classes for working college students. This is because there are too many people to schedule and manage and few people to draw up the class schedules.

College working students like you who practice effective time management strategies can be a big help. You can assist university and community colleges administrators in drawing up class schedules that are effective for working students. Professionals at college need your definite schedules so that they can draw up a fair enough class schedules.

You can work out by yourself an efficient time management schedule, which takes into consideration your studies, and part time job schedules. In the end, with an effective time student calendar time management plan, you also save money.

Here is a great method of setting up your calendar of time management schedule:

1. First off, you must have a semester calendar. Universities and other colleges provide students with blank semester calendars. You can obtain one through online or create one according to your own liking.

2. In the semester calendars, enter your class schedules, project due dates, registration dates and other important dates. These important dates may come from your class syllabi and the school timetables provided in their brochures and announcements. Enter each date as you find them into your semester calendar.

Set up your own due dates for each phase of a big project, like term papers and projects. You can also add personal commitments to social and personal events

Maintaining a semester calendar as your time management method will give you a view of what commitments you need to fulfill. It will help you plan before a given schedule. This way, you will avoid last minute disasters.

3. You can also set up a weekly planner. There are available weekly planners provided by institutions you can obtain them online or get them at the registration office during enrollment. If you want to, you can also buy or create your own.

In the weekly planner, you need to enter your regular class schedule and other obligations on a weekly basis, like work, club or church meetings and assembly.
Make it a point that you insert ample time for review and reading before and following each class lecture you attend.

Take note of it in your planner. If you are wondering the enough time to put in for a review, have a general rule to plan two hours of study for each hour a lecture transpired.

Plan your regular time off from work and school. Enter bed and wake up times in your planner. Meanwhile, for projects, exams and other personal commitments, leave off blank slots

4. Tally out your weekly planner and semester calendar every Friday night or late afternoon. This will enable you to check out the things you have accomplished for that week and adjust on the activities that you still need to do for the following week.

Incorporating these other commitments can be done by placing them in the blank time schedule you have on your weekly planner. Then add new items you are committed in for the incoming week. Enter new things and schedules as new obligations, commitments and engagements come up.

You can have your weekly planner to check out before saying your affirmation to a commitment or engagement. If you find you have a previous entry on the said date and time, then it is best to turn down the invitation early on.

5. Every night create a daily "action list" for the following day. Use your weekly and semester calendar to do this. You can even put in categories to set your priorities straight.

Having a calendar for effective time management will reveal its importance when you reach your goals. The main purpose of maintaining it is that it will help remind you of the key goals you have set forth to achieve.

Benefits of Time Management

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Does it ever feel as though you don’t have enough waking hours in the day? That’s a fairly typical feeling for almost everyone and it can cause a lot of stress. For many working adults they have a lot to juggle. Full-time jobs mixed with a busy family life can result in a person feeling overwhelmed. There are ways to make life easier and one is finding a way to divvy up your time better. When you consider all the benefits of time management programs, it seems clear that having one can make a significant difference in your life.

It’s interesting when you stop and consider that most of us really aren’t in control of our own lives. We work for someone else, during the hours they insist on, we involve our children in so many extracurricular activities that we end up with no time left for ourselves. One of the benefits of time management is finding time for you so you can enjoy your own pastimes.

An effective approach that has worked for many people is to set goals. Most of us have vague goals of things we want in our lives. These may include where we want our career to go and also how we envision our personal life in a few years. Without clearly defined goals, it can be hard to keep them in sight. Therefore one idea that can be very helpful is to write down your goals as well as a time period for achieving them. This gives you a deadline and will likely keep you much more focused and driven. The benefits of time management can certainly include charting your own destiny.

Writing things down can be effective in other areas as well. You may be surprised to see how much time you are actually spending on non-productive activities each week. Things like watching television or playing video games is relaxing but it can impact how you perform in other areas. Jotting down your daily routine for a week will help you determine what you are spending unnecessary time on. This time can then be redirected towards something meaningful, perhaps taking a walk with your spouse, or enrolling in a class. You’ll quickly find that one of the benefits of time management is having more time to improve your life.

Whatever changes you make in your personal life to improve your position, you can do the same in your professional life. If you aren’t progressing up the corporate ladder as quickly as you’d like to, look at what you can do to change that. Perhaps this might mean taking a few courses during the weekend or evenings. The benefits of time management for you might include rearranging your time so you can get a degree that will help your career take off.

Being in control of your own time is essential for success. You can start changing your life and your future today by looking at how you spend your time now and how you need to be spending it to get exactly what you want. Once you make those changes, the sky is the limit in terms of what you’ll accomplish.

College Student Tips for Time Management

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Time Management for College Athletes

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You finally made it through high school, passed your college entrance exams, and chose the university you are going to attend. Another great thing is that you have been given the opportunity to avail of scholarship for athletes.

You are excited, and at the same time nervous upon entering the college campus, you have no idea what to do next. You first visit your coach and he or she told you that practice starts early in the morning.

After visiting your coach, you now go on to class. As a summary, the first day was not that bad, no assignments, no formal lectures, just plain introduction of the subject and course outline.

Next day, you wake up early in the morning, refreshed and ready to train. The coach is giving you a hard time, and you thought that it is only natural for coaches to give newbie’s a hard time.

After training, you went to your dorm room to get ready for your class. You were in shock when you entered your first class, the professor who seemed so nice turned out to be your worst nightmare. The professor gave each of the students a 1500 word essay with a short deadline, and you thought that you could manage. On the next class, the situation gets worse.

After finishing the class you then go to the field and made friends with the other athletes, everyone was talking about party on that night and invited you to go. Of course, since you want to make an impression and seek their approval, you accepted.

In the party, a thought occurred to you that you still have that 1500 word essay lingering in the back of your mind. Thinking that you can still manage and the deadline is not that short.

After the party, you’re tired and went to your dorm room, and as if all the things you experienced on that day wasn’t enough, your roommate was also having a small party in your dorm room, the music was loud, you couldn’t study, you couldn’t sleep and the place was a complete mess.

You then woke up tired and stressed out, you went to the practice field late, and your performance was the worst performance in your entire life and adding to your poor performance was the thought of the 1500 word essay. The coach was angry with you because of your performance, he was giving you a hard time and telling you to stay and clean the locker room.

At last, you finished cleaning the locker room and you go to your first class of the day quickly but still, ended up late. Your professor, as punishment does not let you into the class because of your tardiness.

The worst thing is that the professor was giving tips on how to write about the essay. You thought about failing the class but that would mean your athlete scholarship would be revoked.

All these may seem impossible but this situation truly happens to college athletes. They should have a more advanced time management skills. Being admitted to college is quite easy. The hard part is effectively managing your time to accomplish all the activities you involved with, and never neglecting your studies.

Many college students find it hard to effectively manage their time between studies and other extra-curricular and social activities. All these may seem easy for an athlete compared to how they are going to manage their time. They go through stressful trainings and could not afford to fail in their academics to enable them to keep competing and keeping their scholarship.

The sudden increase in responsibility is very shocking for college students, especially freshmen and college athletes. You just have to study harder and train harder because of the new level of competition.

You may be the track star back in high school, but in college, many competitors can easily match your record in high school. You have to train harder and study harder to keep competing in your sport.

Here are some time management tips for college athletes:

One of the first things you should include in your time management planning is study time. You have probably done it before back in high school, but it will be quite different in college. It will be a lot harder because you have a limited time for studying.

As a college athlete, you may have contradictions on your match schedules and your classes and even exams. Colleges offer tutors for college athletes to avoid missing their classes and school matches.

Try to talk to your professor about your schedule and he or she might consider transferring you to another class with the same subject on another time.

Once you develop effective time management skills, you will surely have time for your trainings, matches, study time, socializing, and your personal life.

8 Simple Steps to Improve Your Time Management

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Are you an individual who can’t seem to properly manage your time? If you are having problems at home or at work, there is a good chance that your problems may be caused by your inability to properly manage your time. The good news, however, is that there are a number of steps that you can take to improve your time management. In fact, 8 simple steps that you can take are highlighted below.

1 – Know That You Have a Problem

Knowing that you have a time management problem is the first step in changing your behavior. Although it is typical to be late for work or a social event on occasion, it is something that should not be happening on a daily or a weekly basis. If it is, it is time for you to realize that you may have a problem.

2 – Decide To Change

Knowing that you have a time management problem is important, but wanting to change is even more important. You need to set goals for yourself, as these goals can help to provide you with a source of motivation. Sample goals include showing up to work on time for a whole month, being on time for all dinner dates, and so forth.

3 – Stick To Your Goals

Creating a number of time management goals for you to meet is advised, but it is important that you don’t give up right away or when you are faced with complications. Setting goals simply just isn’t enough, you need to stick with them.

4 – Create Daily Task Lists

Creating a to do list for yourself is an easy way to properly manage your time. In fact, it is one of the easiest approaches that you can take. Outline what you need to do throughout the day. Be sure to list your tasks in order of importance.

5 – Rely On Time Management Tools

Properly managing your time is important, but it can be hard for many individuals to get use to, especially right away. If you are one of those individuals, you will want to consider using time management tools to your advantage. In fact, did you know that many cell phones and computers come with alarm clocks, alerts, and so much more?

6 – Learn How To Say No

In all honesty, there are times where you may not be able to refuse a project at work or a task at home, but try to not take on more than you can accomplish. If you must, look into using outside help. In the home, this outside help can come from a housecleaner. At the workplace, this outside help can come from a coworker.

7 – Get Organized

Organization is key to being able to properly manage your time. If you are unorganized, you are likely to waste a large amount of time. For example, in the workplace you can waste time by searching for lost or misplaced documents. The same can be said for the home; if you are unorganized, you can spend hours searching for your glasses or car keys.

8 – Consider Hiring Professional Help

As previously stated, if you are overwhelmed at home, you may want to call on a professional housecleaner. In addition to taking this approach, there are other professionals that you can target. There are individuals and companies who specialize in teaching others how to effectively manage their time and stay organized.

7 Important Time Management Activities for High School Students

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Creating a time management is kind of like just the same as setting a budget. Just as the aim of a budget is to place an organization on your money, your aim in time management is to recover the management of your time.

To most people, time is money. Businesses have known this for so long. The more time you spend on a certain task, the more money will be spent or charged depending on the business.

Businesses do not like the idea to compensate employees who waste their time in unimportant matters. They give importance to people that can present the job done in an appropriate time and manner.

In schools, you are requested to do more tasks, frequently by different teachers or supervisors who do not care about the other tasks that you are doing. It only depends to you on how you will manage all your works in order for you to finish them on the time provided to you.

Perhaps, you would also want to some time to enjoy your being youth and lead a fulfilling and complete life.

Here are some tips in which you can use in order for you to beat all of your deadlines and have a systematized and well managed time table.

1. For the next week, have a printed record of all your activities. Put in your record the time you will appropriate for each activity, what are the types of activity that you should do and how long you usually take to get them done. Arrange all these data in any manner you desire, but ensure you put all of your available time to be budgeted. You should also make sure to put in your record the time when you are not busy or doing anything.

2. Study how you will organize your time. Then, try to think of the following:

• What have you observed it?
• Have you completed all the task given to you before or on the deadlines. For instance, have you already finished your homework?
• Were you able to attend other things that you like aside from your obligations at school?
• Were you able to do all your duties at home?
• Do you still have time for your friends?
• What are the things that you like to do but have no time at all to do it?

Once, you have answered the above questions, try to think of the ways on how you can make your time management more effective.

3. Try to look for more information on the internet. There are many search engines that can help you improve your time organization.

4. Select or plan your own table to utilize to put a schedule for yourself for the whole week. Be sure that you spare some time for leisure and work. Be sensible in your anticipations. Try your schedule for one whole week, have a precise documentation of each activity.

5. Let your classmates know about your timetable. If they too have a timetable, evaluate the differences of your table if possible. Try to know the good sides of each table and know how the schedules work.

6. Change is the only thing in a person’s life that is permanent. What you used to do during your spare time may not be the same thing that you will do in six months or a year from now. If you have a winter game that you are joining in, you know that when the winter ends, your schedule will definitely change.

If you are engaged in a school activity or any theatrical presentation, it is expected that you will be busier before the performance date than you are at the start of the rehearsals.

Take a look at the big picture before doing anything else. What do you think will your schedule for the following year look like? Choose the dates on that schedule and conjure a calendar that you can follow.

7. Make a timetable for the next five weeks. Make sure to put any alterations you expect due to your leisure activities and other events that have seasons and peak times. Utilize the schedule and be ready to do remarks on it when the five weeks is over.

How was it? Do not be negative in going back and ensure that the resources are scheduled or look beyond for other resources.

For high school students, it is always expected that they will have a busy time for studies and for playtime. However, no matter how hectic the schedule may be, it is still important that one have an appropriate time management in order to have a direction.

5 Reasons Why You Should Learn and Practice Proper Time Management

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Do you have a problem with time management? If you do, you have two main options. One of those options and often the most popular is to continue on with your normal activities. Unfortunately, doing so may have a negative impact on your personal life, as well as your work life. The other option is to make a change. The good news is that there a number of steps that you can take to improve your time management.

As for what you can do to improve your time management, you will see that a number of different approaches can be taken. Goal setting, to do lists, limiting tasking, prioritizing, and outsourcing are all effective ways to manage your time, but they are also just a few of your options. As for why you should learn and practice proper time management, there are a number of reasons why, five of which are outlined below.

1 – It Is Easy To Do

As previously summarized, you have a number of different options when looking to make better use of your time. These options are all easy and cost effective ways. In fact, creating goals and task lists for yourself is free of charge. Since it is easy for you to learn and practice proper time management techniques, why would you want to do anything else?

2 – It Is Important To Your Personal Life

As previously stated, having a poor sense of time management has a number of serious consequences, one of those being your personal life. If you regularly pay your bills late, don’t make contact with friends, or arrive home later than normal, you may be hurting your personal relationships and often in more ways than you could have ever imagined. Friends, spouses, and romantic partners will likely not want to put up with this behavior for long.

3 – It Is Important For Your Job

Poor time management will not only negatively effect your personal life, but your work life as well. If you do not know how to properly manage your time, you may get easily distracted. This may result in you wasting company time. If you are caught doing so repeatedly, you may find yourself terminated from your current position. This can also have a negative impact on your personal life, as it may leave your finances in serious trouble.

4 – It Is Something That You Can Only Benefit From

Taking the time to learn and practice successful time management techniques can only benefit you, your work, and your personal relationships. Since no money technically needs to be spent on time management tools or training, you have nothing to lose, but everything to gain. It is also important to ask yourself again the important question of “why not?” Why not improve your life with the learning and practicing of time management techniques?

5 – The Options That You Have

Once again, it is important to focus on the options that you have when looking to learn and practice proper time management. Creating a set of goals and a task list is easy and free to do. Alarm clocks and timers can also be used to help you make better use of your time. You likely already own a traditional alarm, but your cell phone, computer, and television may also come equipped with alarm clocks as well.

As a reminder, there are a number of other time management tools and techniques that you can easily learn and practice all from the comfort of your own home.